


Train Wreck

by 6_Binx_6



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Aliens, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, BBW Fic for the Bigger Ladies, Bad Parenting, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Child Death, Comedy, Cooking, Drama, Emotional Baggage, End of the World, Explicit Language, F/M, Falling In Love, Gay Male Character, Getting powers, Getting to Know Each Other, Grief/Mourning, Hate Crimes, Hate to Love, Haven't written in a while, Home, House Keeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm talking SLOW, Justice, Kissing, Loki is a chubby chaser, Lullabies, Main character is chubby, Marvel Universe, Matter of Life and Death, Memories, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Mother-Son Relationship, Please Don't Hate Me, Please Don't Kill Me, Quests, Romantic Comedy, Science Experiments, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Steamy Moments, Step Dad Loki, Stubborn MC, Surprise Kissing, Tags May Change, Teasing, Teen Pregnancy, This is distracting me from my other unfinished fics, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Under Handed crap, Work In Progress, Wrath of a Mother, Writting may suck, You Have Been Warned, dares, loss of a loved one, meetings, old pain, single mother, working through things, working woman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-03-26 12:39:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 90,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19005979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6_Binx_6/pseuds/6_Binx_6
Summary: What would life be like if I'd found the love of my life? Would he be Prince Charming, coming to my rescue and solving all my problems? Would he be a loving and understanding father? Would he love all my flaws and kiss me even if people were looking?Who am I kidding?My luck has never been that fucking good.





	1. The Reality of the Situation is Interviews Suck

**Author's Note:**

> Holy crap, it's been a really, _really_ , long time since I've written or posted anything. My computer died and went to the great sever in the sky. I've tried to keep busy with finishing some of my other fics and working on another one that struck me as inspiring. Sadly, I'm not confident about ANY of the chapters I wrote. Go figure. 
> 
> So in order to kind of get the flow moving in the right direction I'm writing an Avengers fic. This idea came to me a long time ago, but I never had the courage to write it. There are a shit tone of characters and a lot of cool tech that can be daunting for one, such as myself.
> 
> And then I realized this is the world of fan fiction, sunshine and rainbows. Try not to judge me too harshly super fans, this is just my own little blip, with my own spin on things, with some of my favorite characters because well, Infinity War made me cry (and I haven't built the courage up to watch End Game). Also, keep in mind this entire thing has been written on my iPhone 8. Please forgive any typos and editorial blunders. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
>   
> **I do not own the original picture in any way, shape or form. This is just a cover I made for all to enjoy and I made no money from this.**  
> 

Let me be frank, I'm not a size six or blonde. I don't wear a lot of makeup and I've never mastered that sultry look you see on the silver screen. You know the look I'm talking about. The one where the overly hot actress with slim shoulders, gives some beefy actor that half-lidded look that makes men squirm. Yeah, _that_ , I don't have that.

I also am not a young twenty-something little girl with hopes for the future and aspirations to make big money and drive a big fancy car. For the record, I own a faded yellow Neon that doesn’t run, and I was recently fired from my last accounting job because my boss was a sexist pig.

I also happen to be thirty-two and am raising a sixteen-year-old boy. Yes, I am a single mom, knocked up by the quarterback of my high school football team, who was also banging my sister at the time without my knowledge. So that makes me a teen mom to boot.

In short, my life is no more special than all the other lives living and breathing on this planet. I'm just another person in the crowd, a number. I can't say that I'm a statistic mind you, because I think that's just a bunch of crap that helps people rationalize their life and their causes better.

What I can say though, is that I care about people. As in, I actually give a shit if someone is struggling. My heart goes out to them, be it the mailman, the chick down at the deli or the homeless man and his dog. I know life can hand you a shitty deal and I've had my fair share of it enough to understand that it takes one person to say, "Hey, are you okay? Let me help you."

Notice I didn't say, "Can I help you?"

Why? Because we all _can_ help people. The issue is never a question of _can_ , it's a question of _will_ you?

So yeah, I'm the weirdo giving that homeless man a sandwich and a bag of dog food. I'm the wacko telling a joke to the lady at the deli to get her to laugh, so maybe she doesn't look like she's about to cry the next time someone comes in. I'm that tenant that takes the time to bake cookies for the mailman so he can share them with his cancer-ridden wife.

I make damn good cookies by the way.

While my past is checkered with blotches of misguided stupidity and weakness, I can say that I'm trying. I'm trying my damnedest to do better. To be a better person and the best mother I can be. So this whole, unemployment thing is merely an opportunity. One that doesn't include shitty passes about my weight or sexist comments about how my lips would look around a certain organ of the male anatomy.

I'm going to find a new job and make sure that the rent gets paid on time and that there's enough food in the fridge because that's what I do. I'm going to keep pushing on and figuring this shit out.

But that doesn't mean I'm not lonely. It doesn't mean I don't cry in the shower late at night. It doesn't mean that I don't wonder what my life would be like if I'd made different choices, for both me and my son.

What would life be like if I'd found the love of my life? Would he be Prince Charming, coming to my rescue and solving all my problems? Would he be a loving and understanding father? Would he love all my flaws and kiss me even if people were looking?

Who am I kidding?

My luck has never been that fucking good.

* * *

"Mom, where's my shirt?"

"Which one?" I said absently as I stuffed my leather shoulder bag with extra copies of my résumé.

"The Sex Pistols one. You know the one from their tour." Atticus answered, frustration clear in his voice. I couldn't help but look up, giving him a lopsided teasing smirk.

"You mean, _my_ Sex Pistols shirt?"

I was rewarded with a slow eye roll and a huff, "Yes, _your_ Sex Pistols shirt."

Atticus was still in his AC/DC pajama pants and black beater. His black hair was sticking up at odd angles still, allowing me to see his green eyes simultaneously for the first time in two weeks.

"It's in the dryer. You know that thing you walk by in the bathroom whenever you go in there."

"Ha, ha." My sarcasm wasn't lost on him and it made me smile when he turned and slumped off to get dressed.

"Hurry up, you're going to be late," I called after him as I glanced at the kitchen clock. "Damn it, so am I," I muttered.

Doing a quick look through my bag, I confirmed that I had everything. All I needed now was to make sure I looked like someone that belonged in an accounting firm.

Darting back to my bedroom, I passed the closed door of the bathroom. Some kind of heavy metal music playing just loud enough to be heard over the running shower. I gave the door a quick couple of raps, which was answered with Atticus's half-formed response of, "Yeah, yeah."

Our apartment wasn't big by any means. It was probably smaller than most people's garages, but it was cozy and fit us just fine. I'd given Atticus my room, which was bigger and allowed him more room for his whiteboard and computer, while I took his smaller room. About the only benefit for me was the use of the fire escape. A small benefit, but one just the same.

Checking myself out in the mirror behind my door, I ran my fingers through my hair. Its frizzy brown waves decided that they didn't give a damn about my interviews today or my attempt to look professional. It also didn't help that my blouse was older than hell, fraying at the bottom like a sad blue surrender flag. My skirt was also a hairs breadth too tight, so tucking it in drew more attention to my middle than I was comfortable with. There was no hope for it. I didn't own a jacket to put over it so I'd just have to pray that no one noticed.

Whatever.

The sound of the shower cut off as I left my room and headed back to the kitchen.

"Shit," I said with feeling as I glanced at the clock. Grabbing my bag, I threw it over my shoulder and quickly slipped my low heels on.

"Atticus, I'm running late!" I half shouted. Not more than a second or two after I had my shoes on did Atticus appear. His hair was now wet and dripping on my Sex Pistols shirt, his black jeans had seen better days. But at least they were clean.

"Good luck, Mom," Atticus said as I gave him a hard hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, sweetie. Make sure you get to school on time, okay?"

"Mom," he sighed.

"Also, I'll probably be late getting home tonight. So make sure I don't catch you making out on the couch again."

"Mom!" Atticus exclaimed, his eyes wide as his cheeks flushed a bright crimson. It was adorable and I couldn't stop myself from giving him a hard time.

"What was his name again? Paul? No, wait, it was Peter right?" I feigned stupidity as he groaned, rubbing his hands on his face out of embarrassment.

"His name is Randall."

"Oh, right. Randy." I wiggled my eyebrows as Atticus groaned louder.

"Mom, please, for the love of all that is holy and sacred, please—"

"Say no more," I laughed, kissing his cheek and turning for the door. "I'm gone."

"Love you," he muttered.

"I love you too."

* * *

Okay, this was it. I was down to my last interview.

I'd had the luck of landing four, all on the same day, at different times, and at different ends of the city. You can't even begin to imagine the cab fare that went along with that. I'd also almost gotten mugged in Queens after my second interview, which pretty much signed the death warrant for my blouse. It was now slightly torn on top of frayed, and my leather bag now had a broken strap. But you know, that's the price you pay when you get turned around and make the wrong left turn after a shitty interview.

I won't be hearing from them, guaranteed.

Which is really a shame, because my first interview had left me feeling pretty good. I even got my interviewer to laugh, which seemed to make things go smoothly. Of course, after my second interview, I didn't have time to go home and change. So my third interview didn't go so well either. The guy wasn't too keen on my size or the state of my clothing. The quick once over was enough to tell me how it was going to go. When it ended ten minutes in, I knew the rest of the day was shot to shit.

God, I missed smoking.

Atticus texted me, letting me know he got to school and came home okay. He also assured me that there would be no make-out sessions as he had to work on a research paper about the uses of alien tech in the common workplace. I had no doubt that he would get scholarships for college. His grades were excellent and he was smarter than I ever was. But I worried about making enough to pay for the tuition that wouldn't be covered. It was extremely hard to get a full ride to NYU nowadays. After all, New York seemed to have to rebuild about every few years or so after that first attack.

Shaking my head, I stepped away from the closed bagel shop I had leaned against and started huffing it to my last interview. With any luck, maybe this one wouldn't be so bad. Or at least that's what I told myself right up until I entered the deserted lobby and headed for the reception desk.

"Hello there," I greeted the woman behind the massive counter with a smile. She looked me over in one smooth glance and faintly returned my smile.

"May I help you?"

"Yes, my name is Brynn Foster. I have an interview at nine," I continued to smile even though she looked a little puzzled.

"Brynn Foster?"

Turning her attention back to her computer she typed what I assumed was my name into her system. After a moment her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"If you thought I was a guy, don't worry. I get it all the time."

She laughed then, her cheeks turning a faint pink.

"No, I'm sorry Ms. Foster, our system normally doesn't make these types of mistakes. We do background checks on all of our applicants."

"What can I say? My father wanted a boy. So much so that he messed up filling out my birth certificate. It's haunted me ever since."

We both chuckled as she tapped a few more keys and finally offered me a genuine smile.

"Please, have a seat. I'll have Happy escort you back."

"Happy?" I grinned, I couldn't help it. She giggled and nodded.

I left it at that and took a seat at one of the many couches that spanned the length of the lobby. It wasn't long before the nearby elevator dinged and a man emerged looking irritated. His suit was crisp, clean, a wired earbud in his ear. To be fair, his hair wasn't thinning but looked like he combed it enough that maybe it might start too if he wasn't careful. He made a beeline right for me as I stood.

"Brynn Foster?"

"Yep, that's me," I said pleasantly.

"My name is Happy, I'm the chief of security for Avengers Tower."

"Happy to meet you," I said without a second thought and immediately regretted it. I cringed, motioning to myself like a moron. "Sorry, been a rough day."

Happy eyed me for a moment, his face not amused or even acknowledging my apology. Instead, he pulled out some kind of scan gun that looked like a bar code reader.

"Look here," he said, holding the scan gun in one hand and holding up one finger with his other. Looking at the single finger, he quickly scanned my retina. A half second later it beeped. He put the small tech gadget back in his pocket.

"Follow me," he muttered.

"Alright," I answered. Fuck me, I needed to get my shit together. Pissing off the head of security was not a good way to start. All that hard pep talking was already fading. But then who was I kidding? There was no way I was going to get hired here.


	2. New Beginnings, Old Pain

Happy didn't bother knocking or announcing himself, he merely opened the door and motioned me inside. I walked inside expecting him to follow me in, but he closed the door behind me with a finality that summed up my day.

"Don't mind Happy. He's been pissy all day today. I'm surprised he wasn't chewing your ear off about how important security in a building like this is."

The voice behind me was filled with humor and I focused my attention to it as I turned back. A woman about my age stood and extended her hand, "My name is Sharon."

I smiled and shook her hand, "Brynn, nice to meet you."

Her eyes were a muddy hazel, surrounded by dirty blonde hair. She had the best laugh lines I'd seen on a woman and I knew in a moment that this interview was going to go well.

"Please, take a seat and we'll get started."

She motioned to the chair facing her, just off to the side of her desk. I took a moment to realize that while her office was smaller, it was decidedly not what I expected. Pictures of a shorter bald man next to her hung on the walls, along with finger paintings with the name 'Alley' written by a shaky hand looked right at home on her walls. I smiled as I sat down, these were good signs.

God, please, I need this job.

"Sorry for having you come down here at this time of night." Sharon shuffled a few stacks of papers around on her desk before finally finding what she was looking for my résumé.

"Oh, it's not a problem." I smiled as she turned her attention fully back to me.

"Alright, so I've looked over your resume and I'm impressed by everything I see here. You went to NYU, graduating with your CPA in less than two years. Worked for Carter Corp. and Mass Tech Industries. Had a couple of lengthy areas of unemployment, but understandable with what was going on at the time."

Yeah, alien attacks and a few deaths in the family will do that, is what I wanted to say. But it didn't really matter as she continued.

"And your last position was Lead Accountant for Xavier & Sons."

I held my breath for a moment, waiting for the first question. I'd left because my boss, Mr. Larry Daniels, was a sexist pig. Two years of verbal abuse about my weight and how my lips were the most luscious he'd ever seen had finally worn me down. He'd always been careful about making sure no one knew about it, acting like the polite businessman who was the apple of his father's eye. Reporting him to HR had been a joke and threatening to sue him worked as well as trying to put a fire out using gasoline. In the end, it was easier just to leave. I admit that telling him to fuck off wasn't the best choice, because he kind of black-walled me from my own career.

"Uh, yes I left that position due to personal reasons." I smiled softly, trying to look confident that this wasn't about to bite me in the ass. I had quit, but Larry had filed a complaint against me so now my work record read that I'd been fired for misconduct. Fucking asshole.

Sharon didn't even bat an eye as she looked up, giving me a serious look. Shit, it was going to bite me in the ass.

"So tell me why a CPA wants to be in housekeeping?"

God damn it.

I already had an answer lined up, a professional one too that didn't make me out to look like an insubordinate fool. But be it the day that I'd had or my attempted mugging earlier, that response wasn't what left my mouth.

"Well, to be honest, my last boss was a sexist pig so now I can't work as an accountant. I've been unemployed for six weeks and I'm down to my last few hundred dollars. Which basically means I can choose between buying groceries and paying my electric bill or attempt to barter with my landlord so my son and I don't become homeless. It doesn't really matter that it's a housekeeping job. It's a job and that's what I need."

The office was quiet as I finished, Sharon looking at me with her steady gaze. I would have been embarrassed or maybe attempted to disperse the atmosphere with a 'just kidding' joke. But at this point, I just didn't have it in me.

"Look, I'm sorry. That came out wrong."

Great, just fucking great. It had started out good too, but I'd basically shot myself in the foot with my big ass mouth. It was clear by the look on her face.

"I'll just get going. Thank you again for the interview. You don't have to worry about calling to say I didn't get the job or anything." I stood, holding out my hand and giving her a defeated smile. So much for today. Maybe with any luck, the first interview I'd had for Reception at that accounting firm would come through.

Sharon looked from my hand back up to my eyes as a smile tugged at her mouth.

"So when can you start?" She asked, refusing to take my hand.

"What...?"

* * *

About three hours later I quietly opened the door to the apartment. The lamp in the living room was still on, but everything else was dark. A quick peek into Atticus's room showed him passed out on his bed surrounded by papers, books and a single pen tucked under his elbow. His headphones were half on, the music already stopped as it had reached the end of his playlist.

He was so cute when he slept, he always had been. Especially when he and his sister fell asleep on each other...

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I pushed the thought away. Carefully, I removed his headphones and gathered up his papers and books. Setting everything on his desk before I covered him with his comforter. He stirred for only a moment before settling again. He looked so peaceful.

"Good night sweetie," I whispered as I kissed his forehead and left his room.

Entering my room, I closed the door behind me and sat down on my bed. The events of the day hit all at once and I felt exhausted. Which was quickly followed by the afterglow of my new found employment.

It hadn't really sunk in yet, but it would. I was on the night crew cleaning for the main office buildings for the Avengers Tower. It had been a long time since I'd had a labor-intensive job, but that didn't matter. I'd be making just enough to pay all the bills and keep us going. If possible, I might be able to keep saving every penny not spent and put it into Atticus's college fund.

I let out a deep breath and began slowly unbuttoning my blouse. The asshole who had tried to jump me in Queens managed to hit me hard enough in the ribs to cause a bruise. I'm pretty sure he thought because I'm two hundred and twenty pounds and five foot ten that he could just snatch and run. I know I surprised the shit out of him when I clocked him with my other hand. He managed to get in a good punch, but when I started screaming profanities at him, he decided that I was too much trouble.

Still scared me though. I didn't have time to let the fear sink in then, but it did now. I could feel the tears prickle the back of my eyelids. I didn't know if I could keep barreling through life as I had been. Every day seemed like a struggle and every day just added to the exhaustion that had been building up. But what choice did I have? There were no options other than keep going.

It took me a moment, but I managed to push the feelings of hopelessness down enough that the sting in my eyes stopped. Those feelings just led down a dark area in my memories that I couldn't afford to wallow in. Tomorrow was my first day of work. I needed to get a grip.

"Okay mama, time to get your ass to bed."


	3. Heroism is NOT A Good Idea

A month had passed since I started working as a housekeeper in Avengers Tower. The nights were boring, but I was able to listen to my music while I cleaned so it wasn't all bad. I never saw anyone and when I did they regarded me with the same enthusiasm as a speck of dust on a house plant. Meh, I'd had worse.

Everything was going smoothly, which should have been my first clue that shit was going about to hit the fan.

You know, because my life was just fucking like that.

I'd just finished the last conference room on the seventeenth floor. I was about halfway done with my shift, which meant my break was coming up. Pushing the cart for the floor back to the small closet next to the stairwell, I locked it up and made my way all the way back down the hallway to the elevators. Once inside I hit the highest floor button.

The ride was smooth and a few moments later it dinged with the doors rolling open to reveal generic blue carpet and more, larger offices.

Now, I'd been here a month. I knew all the places I was allowed to go and what my job was. My security clearance was non-existent because I never went to the top of the building. Sharon hadn't been joking when she told me their security was tight. There wasn't even an elevator that led to the top floors once you reached the fiftieth floor. No stairwell to go higher either. It was curious and a mystery. One I didn't really care to figure out.

Reaching the fiftieth floor, I stepped out and made my way down the hallway to the far corner office of some guy named David Yank. He had the best view of the city and by far the cleanest office. I probably wasn't supposed to, but I liked to sit on the big couch in there and stare out at the city. I did the same thing at home with the fire escape, but it didn't have a view like this.

It gave me time to recharge a bit before I finished up the rest of my shift. There were supposedly others that cleaned the floors twenty to thirty, and forty to fifty. But I never saw anyone when I came up.

The peaceful quiet of the floor settled in and I let my mind wander. That was until the elevator dinged.

And then exploded.

The shock wave blew out all the surrounding glass on the entire floor. I screamed in surprise but it didn't register because my eardrums were completely fucked. My only saving grace had been that I'd been laying down on the couch at the far end of the floor. If I'd been any closer, I would have been blown out through a window. A realization that hit me once I managed to get past my shock and stumble out into the hallway. There was a fire already roaring, as evidenced by the orange glow coming from around the corner.

"Oh fuck."

The elevators were obviously a no go, but so were the stairs. They were on the other side of the elevators at the other end of the hallway. The sprinkler flicked to life in an attempt to put the fire out. It didn't help, if anything it seemed to spread faster. I had to retreat back the way I came, my shirt over my mouth so I could breathe. A good chunk of the smoke was billowing out the exploded windows, but that didn't stop some of it from drifting down the hallway.

Another explosion came, this one somewhere above me and it shook the building so hard I slipped and fell, smacking my head against the wall.

* * *

"Hey, wake up!"

Someone was slapping my face and I came to with a start. The pain set in a second layer and I groaned, my head felt like it'd been split open and my leg hurt.

"Good, now get up. We've gotta move."

The woman, a shorter and athletic redhead in a leather bodysuit stood and yanked me to my feet. My leg buckled and I almost went down. It took far longer than it should have to realize my leg was bleeding. Somehow I'd managed to get a rather large piece of glass stuck in my upper thigh. The woman helped to support my weight as I blinked stupidly at the glass.

"Holy shit," I said, somewhere between shock and disappointment. The medical bill for this was going to be massive.

"Hey!" The woman yelled in my ear as she pulled me forward, "We don't have time. Move!"

We took a step forward and another explosion shook the building. My leg didn't want to work so I ended up putting more weight on the woman than I wanted to. The good news was we made it to the elevator just before the ceiling collapsed where I had woken up.

Wait, elevator?

I must have knocked my head pretty good because it took longer than normal to realize that we were in a hidden elevator and going up. It took longer still to realize that the woman next to me, who had let me lean up against the side of the elevator so she could pull out a couple of handguns, was Black Widow.

"Thanks," I managed to force out, the pain was setting in now and I became very aware of my heart beating too fast.

She shoved the guns back in their holsters and turned to check me over.

"You're welcome," her voice was calm and even though she looked like she'd been fighting for a while, evident by the dirt on her face and in her hair. She was still pretty even with all that.

"How the heck do you do that?" I asked suddenly.

"Do what?" She answered as she looked over my face, turning my head back and forth to look at something.

"Still look like a supermodel with all this shit going on."

She blinked at me, surprise followed by a soft laugh. "Don't know, maybe I'm just weird."

"Maybe it's Maybelline.

That got a laugh out of her and the elevator came to a stop. The doors slid open to reveal a very high tech looking corridor with metal walls and heavy glass. There was a slight static sound and Black Widow answered.

"Yeah, I'm on my way."

We shuffled out of the elevator and managed to make it to the first metal door. It opened without any key card or recognizable lock. She helped me hobble to a chair next to a small table. It looked like a break room. Once I was down, a wash of nausea hit me and I gripped the chair.

"Hey, I need you to hang in there for me," she took my shoulders to steady me and I managed not to throw up on her. Once I looked a little less green she dug into one of her pouches and pulled out an injectable vial of something.

"It's going to hurt like hell, but if you keep moving with that glass you're going to do more damage. Here, hold this." She shoved the packaging she ripped off of it and gripped my leg. Eyes wide I looked at her as she caught my gaze.

"Wait—" Fuck, I wasn't ready!

She held the vial in her mouth as her other hand pulled the glass out. I screamed. I'm not a badass by any means. My pain tolerance was less than nothing and it was a surprise that I didn't pass out from it. The glass pulled out with a wet squishy sound followed by a gush of blood. The need to vomit rose up again but was killed off by the sudden stabbing of the vial. Foam spouted up instantly and hardened. It burned so fucking bad that the profanity coming from my mouth probably could have shattered church windows.

"It hurts like hell, but at least you won't bleed out."

"That's a comfort," I wheezed, trying to remember how to speak. Black Widow's radio came on again, the static sound muffled.

"Fuck," she said with feeling as she stood and turned towards the door. She seemed to remember I was still there and turned back.

"Don't leave this room."

"No problem," I huffed.

She bolted out the door and it closed behind her with a solid bang. Just as a sense of relief started to settle in, gunfire, quick and merciless, echoed close by. Which was closely followed by a pain filled scream.

A female scream.

* * *

Let me explain something.

I care about people on a human level. I'm not a violent person or a courageous person. Hell, I'm not even a heroic person by nature. I have no superpowers, magic, own any alien tech or have any combat experience whatsoever. So I have no fucking idea what possessed me to go crawling on hands and knees to go look for the woman who had saved my life, Black Widow.

Now I know what you're thinking because I was thinking about it too. I'm fucking crazy.

But I couldn't sit there wondering if she was alive or not. That scream had been worse than mine. It was such a horrific sound that I had snuck through several labs housing some high-class tech that glowed, bubbled and leaked on the floor before I realized what the hell I was doing.

There was no turning back now.

Whoever had shot up the place did a damn fine job of making sure nothing was usable. Unfortunately, it also made it so I had to shift and crawl through broken glass filled puddles of multi-colored goo. I just knew I was going to die from infection, that is if I didn't get shot first.

The floor had been quiet after the scream and there hadn't been any more explosions as I moved carefully through the lab. Security lights had flickered on after the main power went out so it was harder to navigate the minefield of potentially hazardous shit. After what seemed like an eternity, I found her.

She was lying on her side with a pool of blood around her. Ignoring the fact that there were probably people on the floor who would kill me, I crawled to her as fast as my leg would let me. I made a hell of a lot of noise too, but it didn't matter because my heart was pounding so hard.

"H-hey," I half whispered as I touched her shoulder and rolled her over. She groaned softly and I let out a breath of relief. My hand came away wet with blood and I tried to stop my trembling hands as I tried to find her pulse. Who was I kidding? I didn't know crap about first aid. But it looked like she'd taken a bullet to her shoulder, just below her collar bone. It didn't look bad, but there was a lot of bleeding.

Fumbling for the small pouch at her side, I found another one of the injectable vials she'd used on me earlier. Not sure if I was doing the right thing or not, I ripped open the package with my teeth and pulled the vial out. I panicked for a second when I thought I stabbed myself by accident, turned out that I hadn't. It was just another piece of glass buried in my finger. The needle was capped, thank god. Gritting my teeth and took the cap off and stuck the needle in the hole. She groaned again, pain etching her features as the foam hissed up, filling the bullet hole. Once I was sure it was filled I pulled it out and moved to the next one, then the next one. There were six in all. How they all managed to miss vital organs, I’d never know. It took two vials of the vial foam to get them all plugged.

"Now what?"

My voice was shaky and all that fear I hadn't really been feeling before was creeping up now. My body shook all over as I dragged her and myself back into an open door. It was a closet of some kind, hard to tell what was in there because the light was out, but we made it after several pain-filled minutes. Once we were in, I shoved the dented door closed as much as I could, trying in vain to give us some kind of cover. Leaning up against the back wall I pulled her into my lap and cradled her head. I also managed to grab one of her handguns, which I didn't even know the first thing about and waited.


	4. Getting Kicked When You're Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and thank you to those who left kudos!
> 
> I'm interested to see what you guys think of this so far, so if you could leave a comment (good or bad/ love it or hate it) that'd be great. I respond to every comment. Thank you again! ^_^

Now that I thought about it she had an actual name, Natasha I think it was. The longer I sat there, the more certain I became. It was a good name for her.  
  
I was trying desperately to ignore the fact that this was almost exactly what happened last time. I was failing of course, but that was to be expected.  
  
"You know," I said softly to the unconscious Natasha, "I wonder sometimes what would have happened if my daughter had lived past that first attack. You know, the one with all the Aliens and crap raining down from the sky. I have a feeling she would have been your biggest fan. She was a strong girl. Her name was River. You know, like River Song from Doctor Who.  
  
My son, on the other hand, has always been a fan of Tony Stark. Not just because he's good looking but because he's smart. Atticus is smart too. That boy is so smart and so kind that it's hard to believe he's mine. But then again, he has my same sarcasm. Doesn't curse as much as me though."  
  
I sobbed out a laugh, not realizing I'd been crying.  
  
"He's going to be so mad at me if I die..."  
   
My words trailed off and I didn't have the ability to continue. They became lodged in my throat and I took a ragged breath. I wasn't able to sink completely into despair though, because again my life was a train wreck on acid.  
  
A loud boom sounded, followed by scratching metal and a loud inhuman roar. I had given up hope somewhere between my ramblings to the still unconscious Natasha. But I wasn’t going to go down without a fight either. It was my fucked up life, the only one I had. Might as well go down kicking and screaming.  
  
The destruction was getting closer and louder. It wasn't until I watched a massive steel table fly through the air and embed itself in the opposite wall that I brought the gun up. I tried to aim for the small opening in the door, but my hand was shaking so hard that I had a better chance of the bullet bouncing off the door and hitting me in the eyeball.  
  
All I can say is, there are worse ways to go.  
   
Funnier ways too, I might add.  
  
The inhuman growling and what I can only assume where footsteps, stopped just out of view in front of the door. My breathing was already to the point of hyperventilation when a large green hand struck out and took the door off its hinges. I screamed, holding onto Natasha as tightly as I could as I pulled the trigger. The recoil from the gun made my wrist ache and my arm spaz out as I continued to try and shoot the big green blob. It roared and began tearing the door frame out to make a big enough space for it to come through.  
  
A few more pulls and the sharp sound of bullets stopped and ended in a few soft clicks.  
  
Now, this is the point in my story where the helpless CPA turned housekeeper, who has no idea what the fuck is going on, gets eaten by a big green, ugly monster. In really bright purple shorts.  
  
The big green monster in question stopped trying to get to us the moment the gun stopped firing. My hand was shaking so bad now that if he sneezed, the barrel of the gun would have ended up on his nose. We stared at each other for a few short seconds until I couldn't hold the gun up anymore. It took me longer to realize that the big green, ugly monster was what people called the Hulk.  
   
He huffed at me like he'd won and I let out a weird laugh. I couldn't help it. Call it nerves, a concussion or maybe a mental break down. But the whole idea that I'd tried to shoot the Hulk in the face with a handgun was funny. He’d taken out whole armies and practically destroyed a few cities. The stupid handgun was nothing.  
  
"You know, I really hope you have some backup. I think your fingers are too big to pull out bullets."  
  
His brow furrowed as I motioned to Natasha in my arms. She'd grown paler since I'd pulled her in with me and the moment his eyes landed on her his face immediately softened. I felt my body relax and tears of relief streamed down my face. Good, maybe I wouldn't get killed now.  
   
"Don't worry, she's still breathing." I murmured as I let my head rest on the wall.  
  
Metallic sounds and heavy thumping of hurried footsteps had my eyes flying open to see a red and gold robot and a guy with a bow and quiver. I laughed again, somewhat pained as they stopped to stare at me like some kind of enigma.  
  
"Mr. Stark," I managed through my laughter as I looked up at him in his Iron Man suit, "I want a raise."  
  
As last words went, they weren’t bad.

* * *

Mostly what I remember after that is being brought home in a car and Atticus yelling at someone. A couple of someone's, or so I thought, as they carried me into the apartment to my room. I remember Atticus having a muffled conversation from the other side of my bedroom door and then a whole lot of nothing.  
  
I woke with a start to someone knocking on the front door sometime later. I felt like shit. I was sore all over and the pain in my thigh still burned from where that big piece of glass had gone in. There was a thick bandage around my thigh now, but the rest of my body was covered in little cuts and bruises. Honestly, if it hadn't been for all of that I would have thought the bits I vaguely remembered were a dream.  
  
The knocking started once again and I called out, "Yeah, hang on!"  
  
I managed to hobble down the hallway and past the kitchen. I accidentally stubbed my toe on the living room chair, yelling out a string of curse words before finally making it to the door. Any normal person would have looked out the peephole to see who was knocking so insistently. And while I am a normal person, I do have the tendency to forget things when I'm in pain.  
  
Like the fact that rent was due.  
  
The day after to my little heroic stunt at work.


	5. Don't Freak Out

"Evicted!? What do you mean, evicted!?"  

My voice was more shocked than shrill as my landlord, a homely man whose name was Bob, shrugged. His balding white hair was cut lopsidedly like he'd done it himself. Even his shirt was sporting a ketchup stain that looked about two days old. He was probably a good looking man back in the day, but those days had passed and now he was a nasty old man with no tolerance for late rent.

"Brynn, I was nice giving you that extension for the month. You promised that you'd make last months rent and this months rent three days ago." 

"I know, and I'm—" 

"And you know that I only give people one chance." 

"If you'd just listen—" 

"You've got twelve hours." He grumbled, making his way to the stairs before turning back briefly, "Or I call the cops." 

"B-but..." I stared as he meandered down the stairs, me still in my nightgown and my mouth hanging open. How the hell was I going to move in twelve hours!? We didn't have any other place to go and what about Atticus!? Oh my god, he'd be home in half that time... 

Somehow I managed to snap out of it enough to go back inside and sit down. I won't lie, I cried for a good ten minutes before I sucked it up and put on my big girl panties. First thing I needed to do was to see if I still had a job. It had supposedly been three days since my heart pounding, life or death romp through Avengers Tower. I probably didn't have a job now that I thought about it. Fuck. 

That horrible feeling didn't stop me from finding my cell phone in my room and calling my boss, Sharon. Hitting the correct numbers on the phone menu, I managed to dial her extension with shaky fingers. She picked up on the second ring and I let out a hiss of air. 

"Hey!" I said a little too enthusiastically, "Sharon, it's me, Brynn. I, uh, just wanted to call and... Well..." I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence through biting my lower lip. Calling your boss about missing work is hard. Trying to explain that you've missed work because you almost died from the building and a big green blob trying to eat you... Well, that's a bit harder. 

"Brynn!? Oh my god, how are you?" She sounded like she had been worried and I blinked slowly in surprise. 

"Uh," I mumbled stupidly.  

"Mr. Stark came to my office and personally asked me to tell him when you called. Jesus, he told me what happened, I thought you died." 

"Uh," I said again. There were a lot of questions I had about that statement, but before I could say anything she transferred me.  

Immediately the phone clicked and a very sophisticated, male British voice came on the line. 

"Good morning, how may I help you?"  

"Um," What the hell was I supposed to say? 

"Ah, Ms. Foster. Mr. Stark has been expecting your call.” The phone clicked and then he spoke again, “Sir, Ms. Foster is on the line for you." 

"Wha—?!" I barked out. 

"Brynn! Glad you called, look I'm kind of in the middle of something—" a loud bang sounded through the phone, followed by a squeal that hurt my ears, "—I'm sending a car to come and pick you up."  

And just like that, the phone clicked off.  

I ended up staring at my phone, not sure what to do. Why in the hell would Mr. Stark want to see me? I was a nobody. A homeless nobody. Closing my eyes, I rubbed the bridge of my nose. I kind of remember what happened. Something with explosions and I'm pretty sure there was a big green blob monster in there somewhere. I also vaguely remembered someone pulling a piece of glass out of my thigh.  

A sharp knock on the door brought me back to reality, I'd have plenty of time to think about what happened later. A message sounded on my phone as I got up to hobble to the door again. I made sure not to stub my toe this time. 

Again, I forgot to look through the peephole and opened the door, still in my nightgown and my cell phone in hand. Was I ever going to learn?  

No, no I wasn't. 

"Ms. Foster, I’m here to pick you up,” Happy greeted as I opened the door. My phone sounded again and I looked down at the two messages that came through, both from Atticus. 

Mom, I'm fine. Don't worry. Take care of what you need to at work. I’m going to be at Randall’s till late. 

I love you. Don't freak out.

Right. Don't freak out. I didn't even have enough mental capacity to freak out. Happy gave me a once over and rose his brows over his sunglasses. 

"You might want to change." 

"Right," I nodded absently as I looked down at myself. My purple nightgown had seen better days and was probably left over from the seventies when moo-moos were still technically acceptable house attire. What can I say? The first time I had sex I got pregnant with twins and I have never had a date. Sexy outfits and lingerie weren't at the top of my list of must haves. 

"Sorry Happy, come in. I'll just be a second." 

Happy stepped in and I hobbled back to my room after I shut the door behind him. It took me a lot longer than a second to get dressed. Mainly because jeans hurt like hell and put too much pressure on my bandaged thigh. I didn't want to put on shorts or a skirt because my legs, as a whole, looked like I'd crawled through about three inches of glass. I finally settled on a pair of black sweat pants. The shirt was easier, as just about anything goes sweat pants. The shirt in question was a Christmas gift from Atticus last year, a picture of Einstein with his tongue sticking out.  

Finally dressed and my hair somewhat combed, I hobbled back out to the living room to find Happy still standing where I left him.  

"Sorry for the wait," I muttered apologetically, grabbing my keys and wallet. My cell was already tucked into my pocket.  

Happy shrugged and didn't comment on my new attire. Maybe he'd heard my pained groaning when I was struggling with that fucking pair of jeans. He led me out the door, again waiting patiently as I locked up.  

My building didn't have an elevator, so the trek down the stairs was one agonizing step after another. I refused Happy's help, and after the sixth time, he got the hint to stop asking. I probably shouldn't have been so stubborn, but I would have felt weird accepting his help. By the time we made it down the stairs and out into the waiting car, I was sweating and breathing a bit hard.  

Happy sat in the back with me, silent as the grave. I didn't care. Honestly, the trip down the stairs and the fight with those fucking jeans had pretty much zapped any energy I had right out of me. I ended up closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the headrest.  

The only reason I could think of, as to why in the hell Tony Stark of all people wanted to meet me, was to fire me in person. I'd never met him before, so I couldn't pass a definitive judgment, but I was pretty sure that it was the only reason. That line of thought didn't last long, because before I knew it, I was asleep.


	6. A Meeting and A Deal

After my short nap on the ride over, Happy brought me through an underground entrance to an elevator that led all the way to the top floors of the Avengers Tower. It was a high tech elevator too, which introduced me to a security program named JARVIS. Who just so happened to be the male British voice that connected my call earlier with Mr. Stark. The whole idea of a computer program smart enough to chat had me I actually ignoring my home situation long enough to ask JARVIS some questions, which Happy didn't find amusing in the slightest.

"So JARVIS, tell me a joke," I prompted after our introductions were out of the way.

"If you’d like, Ms. Foster. What do you call a fake noodle?"

"Seriously?" Happy groaned.

"Oh come on, laughter is a good distraction. No clue JARVIS, what?"

"An impasta."

I giggled, I couldn't help it. His deadpan British voice delivered the punchline so epically, it tickled my funny bone. Happy rolled his eyes, having taken off his sunglasses once we entered the underground garage.

"I'm glad you liked it," JARVIS responded as we continued to climb floors.

"Okay, what's the weather going to be like today?"

Happy groaned louder, rubbing the bridge of his nose like the whole situation was physically causing him pain.

"Why the hell are you asking him something you can look up on your phone?"

I shrugged, "Well, it's not like I could ask him any serious questions. He's an A.I. programmed by Tony Stark and you told me already that my security clearance was non-existent. I'm a housekeeper with a degree in accounting. I might not be the smartest person on the block, but I know where I stand in the grand scheme of things. Besides," I said softer and more to myself, "I probably won't have a job after this meeting and I'll be homeless in the next ten hours or so."

I ended up looking at my flip flops because I could feel Happy's eyes on me. The elevator was silent for a moment before JARVIS decided to chime in.

"The high today will be a warm eighty-two degrees with a slight breeze blowing in late in the evening. The low will be sixty-one."

I smiled and nodded just as the elevator dinged, "Thanks JARVIS. Maybe on the way back you can tell me where the nearest coffee shop is?"

"Certainly, Ms. Foster."

I expected the corridor to be metal walls and steel doors, don't ask me why. However, this floor opened up to a regular looking hallway with regular looking glass doors. Happy was doing his silent security thing again as I hobbled along after him. Once we rounded the corner, the area opened up revealing a massive lab.

I won't lie, I couldn't tell you what any of that shit was. There were tables covered in electronic bits and things in glass tubes. Wires that connected to various things and a giant digital screen that was crunching the numbers on something that looked like a Rubick’s cube. Wait... Yep, that was a Rubick’s cube.

"Holy shit," I whispered as I spotted a few people hanging out in what looked to be a conference room surrounded by more glass. I was beginning to hate the look of glass by the way.

Happy walked right to the door and opened it without stopping to pause. That's when all eyes turned to me and I felt like this was becoming something more than a simple firing. Shit. Happy motioned for me to enter, which I did, but I didn't really want to.

The conference table was currently home to several people. Before I could get a good look at them and ask what was going on Mr. Stark, who was dressed casually in a long-sleeved shirt and jeans, jumped in.

"You must be Brynn.”

"Uh, yeah...?" Well, that was a stupid response, as made evident by the look he gave me. I quickly looked at the others sitting down. Aside from Tony, there was an older looking man with peppered grey hair and glasses. He was handsome and kind of nerdy looking, but it was a look that fit him. I had no fucking clue what his name was though, but I was sure I'd seen him somewhere. And finally, there was a woman with deep red hair that reminded me of...

"Hey!" I exclaimed in surprise, "you're okay!"

Natasha grinned and stood, coming over to me with a slight limp in her step. I won't lie, she was a little shorter than me, but she was kind of intimidating even with the subtle limp. At first, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Do I shake hands? Do I give her a hug? It was awkward but she didn't hesitate to hug me as I stood there like a mannequin.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks to you."

I laughed, "I'm pretty sure that is not true, thanks though. I was worried you weren't going to make it. There was a lot of blood."

Natasha gave me a soft smile as she stepped back. It was clear she didn't know what to say, but her smile said that I really had made the difference. I blinked slowly at her as that set in. I saved someone. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd actually save someone from a dangerous situation.

"So we wanted to talk to you about what happened," Mr. Stark interjected as Natasha sat back down.

"Uh, okay. I really didn't see anything or anyone." Now that I thought about it, that was kind of weird. "I can't even remember what happened with any clarity."

"Then let's start with what you do remember." Mr. Stark prompted, his face was serious.

"Uh, well..." I began, recounting the events that I remembered. Mainly taking a break where I shouldn't of have, the explosions, Natasha, glass in my thigh and a big ugly green blob trying to eat us. For some reason Tony and Natasha looked at the nerdy guy in glasses, both of them trying to hide a smirk.

"That's about it," I finished. Somewhere along the way, Happy had left, but I didn't think he'd be gone for long. After all, someone would have to escort me out of the building.

Tony nodded and then stood up, "Take a seat, I want to show you something."

"Uh, okay." Slowly, trying desperately not to let on that my leg was giving me hell, I took the chair closet to me.

"JARVIS, bring up the footage."

"Yes, Sir."

I smiled at hearing JARVIS's voice but quickly ended up slack-jawed, as the glass conference table suddenly projected a 3-D image of me lying down on the couch in David Yank's office. The whole thing played out, right up and through where I shot the Hulk in the face until the gun ran out of bullets. The footage ended shortly after and the image disappeared altogether.

Everyone was quiet for a moment, which allowed me a good opportunity to let the events sink in. After a few more lengthy minutes, I frowned.

"So if you knew what happened, why'd you ask me?"

"Well, the material you crawled over to get to Natasha was a highly toxic combination of alien and biotech engineering." This came from the guy in glasses.

I laughed, I couldn't help it. It wasn't that funny laugh though. You know, the one where you hear a really good joke and then everything after it is just funny. No, this was the kind of laugh that happens when you have too much hit you at once and you're just like, 'Sure, what the fuck else have you got universe?' I got surprised looks from all three of them, but I didn't care. By the time I stopped laughing, I was wiping tears from my eyes. Seeing his opportunity, Mr. Stark continued.

"Look, I'll be straight with you. The stuff you crawled through probably didn't do anything to you. Your bio scan showed nothing to be concerned with when we sent you home, but we want to be sure. Bruce and I would like to run diagnostics on you to be sure and then we will cut you loose."

That last bit sounded final. Final in the 'you're shit canned' kind of final. It wasn't even my fault that the building got shot to hell and Natasha already admitted that I'd saved her life (still debatable), and yet I was fired. They wanted me as a lab rat because I crawled through some nasty shit and that was the only reason I was here.

Well, fuck that.

"No," I said flatly.

Mr. Stark actually looked surprised, his eyebrows inching up his forehead before he continued.

"I don't really think you—"

"No," I said firmly as I stood. I had to put all my weight on my other leg, but that didn't matter. I didn't even care that I could feel a warm drop of blood running down my leg either. I was not going to be experimented on. Diagnostics was a fancy word people liked to throw around when what they really wanted to do was look at your organs under a microscope. Nope, sorry, I had to find a new place to live and Atticus would be home from school soon. I didn't care if all my hair fell out and I morphed into some kind of weird half human paper clip.

"Wait—" Natasha spoke up as I shot her a look.

"No hard feelings, really. But I'm not going to be your lab rat so you can figure out if there's something wrong with me or not. I've got a sixteen-year-old kid that needs me and I'm going to be homeless in a few hours. I don't have time to play fucking science experiment for you. I'm sorry, but no. You can go ahead and fire me or cut me loose or whatever."

You could have heard a pin drop with how quiet the room was. I felt a little guilty when Natasha caught my eye.

Nope, none of that shit. No one owed anyone anything, she saved me, I saved her (maybe). That was it, end of story.

I started to turn towards the door, fully intending to leave when Mr. Stark spoke up.

"I've already taken the liberty of sending someone to your home to pack it up. They should be about done," he made a big show of looking at the expensive watch on his wrist, "and on their way here."

Natasha cringed when he finished and I felt my heart give me a good pound. The nerdy guy had the decency to look like maybe their approach hadn't been, the best. You fucking think!?

I took a sharp breath in and let it out slowly. My life was one struggle after another, but it was mine. I worked for all of it for my kids...now kid...and myself. I never asked my parents for money or help and my sister, well she pretty much hasn't spoken to me since high school. I don't take handouts and I definitely don't like bribery.

"Mr. Stark," I said as smoothly as I could, "I would very much appreciate it if you would fuck off."

Was that subtle? Nah, blame it on too much independence or whatever you want, but there's a limit. And I was done being professional. I was fired anyway, so what did it matter.

Mr. Stark furrowed his brow in confusion before looking at the nerdy guy like he had no idea why I was so pissed off. Maybe he didn't.

"Look," I said trying to regain some kind of air of civility, "I appreciate everything you and the Avengers have done for New York, hell, the world. You probably don't hear thank you very often, but I do appreciate it."

Mr. Stark was starting to smirk smugly when I continued. I gave Natasha some credit, she closed her eyes like she knew what was coming.

"However, you are not as big of a badass as you think you are. And you definitely don't have the right to get involved with my life in any way, shape or form. Especially when you have fired me for something that has nothing to do with me. You want to experiment on me? You'll have to kill me first. You want to use my homelessness as a bargaining chip to get what you want? I've got news for you, I've had better people and worse people than you try to screw me over. So. Fuck. Off."

* * *

It took a short trip in the high tech elevator (in which Happy was already waiting for me), a trip to Sharon's office and a slow sad walk to the nearest coffee shop JARVIS had given me the name of before I broke down into tears. For the record, I pride myself on not being a big emotional mess on a regular basis. But sometimes, I just can't help it.

It was just one of those fucking days.

Sharon was a sweetheart, apologizing for my dismissal, though she said she hadn't received the official notification yet. She assured me that she'd forward my check when I figured out where the hell I was going to move us to. In case you were wondering, I can't do direct deposit because my bank was leveled in the attack on New York. Yeah, I could have found a new bank, but I just never seemed to find the time.

I called Atticus since it was his lunch period and explained that we were homeless...again.

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone before he finally spoke.

"So, what are you doing now?"

"Drinking a shitty cup of coffee on a bench."

"So you're mopping?" His voice was teasing and it made me smile. Atticus always had a knack for cheering me up.

"Hell no, I'm a grown woman. I don't mope. I just tend to wallow." I said, indignant.

"So you're wallowing then?" I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. Those green eyes were probably all smug and teasing.

"You know, I'm your mother. You should be nicer to me and I don't know, pity me more or something."

"You know I can't do that. I'm a gay rebellious teenager with a 4.8 GPA." He was said it so seriously that I laughed. I couldn't help it. It also made me start crying again and I sniffled.

There was another long pause.

"I think," he said softly, "that you're stubborn sometimes though."

I wiped my eyes and nose as he continued.

"I don't think Mr. Stark was trying to insult you, Mom. I think he just doesn't know how to deal with the average, run of the mill, hard-working badass that you are. I think that he was trying to make sure that one more person didn't have to suffer because of something that happened, that was out of his control."

"No offense hunny, but there's no way you could know that. You haven't met him."

"No, I haven't. But I don't think he would send people to pack up our stuff to bring it to the Avengers Tower just so he could force you to agree getting checked out. And I think you do need to get checked out. A hospital isn't going to be able to help you."

I sighed, "You may have a point in there somewhere."

Distantly, the sound of the lunch bell ringing came over the phone and Atticus answered someone who yelled his name.

"Be there in a sec," he called back, slightly muffled before come back on the line, "I gotta go. I'm just gonna crash at Randall's for the night. Text me later when you know what the plan is. Think about what I said."

"Okay sweetie, I love you. And no hanky-panky with Randy." Fuck, I was gonna start crying again.

"Jesus, Mom!" He sounded so exasperated before sighing, "Love you too."

The line clicked and I sniffled, stuffing the phone back into my sweat pants. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, trying to get a grip on my emotions. In retrospect, I had probably, maybe, overreacted. There wasn't anything that I could do—.

"You know, I've never had someone tell me to fuck off so strongly before."

Eyes snapping open, I started as Mr. Stark took a seat next to me, leg coming up to rest his ankle on his knee. He was wearing a blazer now and a pair of expensive sunglasses, looking relaxed. He didn't look at me but instead focused on the traffic and the people going by. I winced and took a sip of my cold coffee. It hadn't tasted good hot, being cold just made it worse.

"Well, I might have overreacted," I muttered, trying to figure out how the hell he had just showed up so suddenly.

He snickered at that and looked at me, "Nah, I think you reacted the way anyone would."

I stared at him, to-go cup raised to my lips.

"Uh," I mean really, what was I supposed to say?

"So I'd like to try this again. Hear me out first and then, if you want you can tell me to fuck off again."

I blushed from embarrassment and made the mistake of taking a sip of my coffee. I sputtered but managed to nod as he stifled a laugh.

"Look, Banner and I would like to monitor you for six months."

"Banner?"

"The self-deprecating guy in glasses," he motioned with his hands to his sunglasses. Ah, the nerdy guy.

"Why six months?" I frowned.

"Because the muck you crawled through should make itself known within that amount of time. I doubt it would since it was contaminated and pretty much useless outside of those Petri dishes. But if for some reason it does and your DNA mutates we might be able to stop it and reverse it."

I could feel the panic starting to prickle in the back of my throat. That whole thing sounded like something out of a horror movie. But I really didn't want to have a panic attack on a bench right then. So I swallowed it down with another sip of nasty coffee.

"What's the catch?"

"You and your son move into Avengers Tower. I'll pay you for your time as a science experiment. You can have your own space, your son will be safe and we can monitor you."

"Uh..." My eyes were probably bugging out of my head. Move into Avengers Tower? I didn't even blink at his obvious dig about being a science experiment.

"Look, it's our fault that you got caught in that situation and honestly, I'm so used to the building getting blown up that all I can say is that I'm just glad no one was killed. My team or otherwise." His voice had dropped a little, sounding...

Holy shit, was he being sincere?!

While I was processing everything he glanced at his watch, "So what's it gonna be, firecracker?"

"Fire...?" I raised my eyebrows at the nickname but tried to stay focused, "I...I don't want a handout." I could practically feel his eyes looking at me from behind those sunglasses.

"Can I have my job back?" I asked, more to my coffee cup than him.

Mr. Stark gave it all of two seconds before he chuckled and stood, "Sure, you can have your job back. See you back at the office, firecracker." He quipped as he walked off and got into an expensive looking car that was waiting at the corner for him.

It took a long time for me to get a grip on what just happened. 

And longer still, to realize that somehow I'd finished my nasty ass cup of coffee.


	7. An Outburst Against A Betting Man

"Welcome back, Ms. Foster. I trust you enjoyed your cup coffee?" JARVIS sounded polite as always, but I didn't buy it for a second.  
  
"Did you give me the name of that coffee shop because you knew it had crappy coffee?"   
  
"Forgive me, Ms. Foster. I thought it might fit the mood."   
  
I tried to hold back my laugh, I really did. But there was just something about that deadpan delivery that made it funny. Happy, unlike his name, let out a heavy sigh. Whatever, it was a good distraction from my leg that was throbbing. My pant leg was a little wet where some blood had seeped through the bandage, but there wasn't anything I could do about it until I got settled.  
  
We were back in the elevator again after Happy caught me trying to find my way to the underground garage. It was hell trying to get around all the construction that was happening outside the building and I'd gotten lost somehow. He looked like he was about to blow at the seams when he saw me fiddling with the retina scanner next to where I thought the garage was. Turned out, it wasn't the garage or a retina scanner. It was actually a security camera that sent a live feed to his office. Basically, I'd been standing out there like a moron for fifteen minutes with my eyeball pressed up against the camera lens.  
  
Really, I mean you would think he would have laughed at my stupidity, instead, he just seemed annoyed. Now that JARVIS had me laughing again he looked like I was slowly killing him. Oh well, he'd get over it.  
  
The elevator stopped with a ding and the doors opened to reveal another area I hadn't been too.   
  
It was a massive hallway with huge metal doors that looked like something right out of Star Trek. I would have said as much, but I was trying my best to give Happy a break.   
  
"I want you to know that I don't agree with you and your kid staying here. But since I don't have a choice in the matter, I'll show you around. Now, this floor is the living quarters only. Everyone one of the Avengers has their own room." He pointed as we walked by door after massive door.  
  
"They all have their name on the door as you can see." He pointed to Natasha's, then some guy named Clint, and the next one reading in very small neat script, Bruce Banner.   
  
"Now, you will only have access to your room, no one else's. If someone allows you access to their room, JARVIS will be notified by them. If you want someone to have access to yours just tell JARVIS. He has access to every room for safety reasons. Locks, alarms, etc. and in some of the rooms, there are cameras. And before you make any weird comments, JARVIS only records when something big is going on."  
  
"Big?" I asked innocently.   
  
"Yes, now—" he stopped and looked at me as I smiled sweetly. If he seriously wasn't going to let me comment on the fact that some of the rooms had cameras in them, I was going to get a joke in there somewhere. I mean, it was the perfect set up for a sex joke. Who in their right mind could pass that up?  
  
Happy let out a huff and turned back around, walking briskly. I tried to catch every name on the door but, I was more worried about getting lost. Finally, the rooms stopped and we came to a humongous living room. There were several couches, comfy chairs and a tv that spanned the entire wall. Some modest bookshelves covered another wall with a chess board and an air hockey table that looked like it had seen some decent hours.  
  
"Holy shit..." I wasn't able to keep the surprise out of my voice.   
  
"This is obviously the living room. Now, there are books here for everyone to use. Make sure you put them back. On the other side," he motioned across the hallway to a large kitchen that could have been right at home at a five-star restaurant. There was so much stainless steel that it hurt my eyes. "Is the kitchen. Now, I understand you asked to keep working."  
  
"Uh, yes." I nodded, realizing after a few seconds he was talking to me.  
  
"You will no longer be cleaning the office floors since they are pretty much all under construction anyway. Instead, you're going to be responsible for cleaning and maintaining the living room and kitchen. Also, if anyone else wants you to clean their room, you'll do that too. I doubt they will, but it's part of your contract."  
  
"Oh, alright. Where's the cleaning closet?" I asked, looking around and not finding it.  
  
"In the back of the kitchen next to the pantry."  
  
"Ah, okay."   
  
Happy gave me a hard look that said I better make sure it looked exactly like this every day before moving on. Man, this guy was kind of a hard ass.  
  
We walked down further before turning the corner to see more rooms, most of them not having a name on them until we came to one that read 'B. Foster & Child'. I almost laughed, almost. Atticus was not going to like being called a child. Fifty bucks said that the moment he saw it he'd change the sign to something sarcastic.  
  
"Now, for security reasons, you need to put your hand here for it to scan it before you can go in. We will add your son's bio sig later. Give it a try."  
  
I stepped forward and did as he said and the door opened upward soundlessly. Which was disappointing, I was really hoping it would have gone WHOOSH like in Star Trek, but hey, that probably cost extra or something.  
  
The door opened to its own living room and private kitchen, which begged the question of why there was a massive one across the hallway from the living room in the common area. Maybe they had big dinners together there or something. Who knew? In the middle of the living room, which was furnished with a couch and tv, was a pile of neatly stacked boxes. I really hoped that nothing was broke and it was all there.  
  
Walking further back, I discovered two rooms, my bed in one and Atticus's in the other. More boxes were piled in the rooms. Either half of our stuff was missing, or we really didn't have that much stuff. Something told me though that it was the latter. My living room chair was currently tucked into a corner of my room.  
  
"Alright, you have today and tomorrow to unpack or whatever. Tomorrow you need to go down to the Labs and meet with Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark for some testing, then you can clean. You don't have a set schedule or clock in time, but JARVIS will be keeping an eye on you. He will also make sure you get to the labs. Any questions?"  
  
"Yes," I said, turning towards him, my curiosity was getting the better of me. "I didn't catch all the names. Who is all here as far as like, the Avengers?"  
  
Happy sighed, clearly agitated that I'd asked, "Mr. Stark has his own home, but he does have a room here. Mainly it's Natasha, Dr. Banner, Thor, Clint, Steve Rogers, and Loki."  
  
I froze, my body tensing as I stared at him.   
  
"Lo...ki...?" My voice came out kind of hoarse and Happy finally looked at me. He cringed like he knew he shouldn't have said his name, but he had.  
  
"Loki, the bastard that destroyed half of New York...is on this floor and part of your fucking team?!"   
  
There was no fucking way, he should have been killed or stuck on some fucking planet that was slowly melting from a nearby star exploding. But he was here, on this planet, in New York...on this fucking floor.  
  
"W-well, technically he isn't here, here. He's been taken back to Asgard to—"  
  
"JARVIS, I want to talk to Mr. Stark. Right now!" I yelled as I stomped passed Happy back out into the hallway. I had kind of gotten used to my leg hurting, but now it was screaming at me as I made my way back to the elevator. Happy caught up with me quickly, but I didn't stop, I just moved faster.  
  
"Hey lady," Happy began and I whirled around, getting in his face.  
  
"Don't you even tell me to calm the fuck down! That criminal is responsible for the death of my daughter and thousands of people! I'm not going to stay in the same building as that monster! How could you even let him—"  
  
Distantly I heard the elevator ding and voices, but I couldn't stop yelling and I couldn't stop the tears in my eyes.  
  
"—stay here!? Have you all lost your goddamned minds!?"  
  
Happy had the decency to look uncomfortable as I yelled at him. When someone touched my shoulder, I jumped and turned to face Natasha and Mr. Stark.   
  
"Brynn—" Natasha began, but I cut her off.  
  
"When were you going to tell me that Loki was here?" My voice cracked, carrying with it all that buried emotion from five years ago.   
  
Mr. Stark frowned as Natasha and Happy turned to see what he was going to say. For a moment I looked like he wasn't going to say anything and then he finally he spoke.  
  
"A lot has changed. I can't give you all the reasons Brynn, because there are a lot of them. I can't even say that I trust him, because he is what he is. He is the God of Lies and Mischief. Right now, he's helping us as penance for the attack on New York, but only because of his brother Thor and his father are making him do it.   
  
I won't lie to you Brynn, he could turn on us at any time. But we've made every effort to make sure that he stays in line and does what he is supposed to. I know it's a hard pill to swallow and I also know about your daughter." He said the last softly as if he understood my pain somehow.  
  
I sucked in a harsh breath as Natasha rubbed my back, trying to comfort me. I could tell he was being honest like Atticus had reminded me, he probably didn't really understand the average person. I also tended to be a stubborn asshole when left to my own devices. But he did understand loss, that much was clear. I let out the breath I'd been holding and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.  
  
"Fine. It's not like I really have a choice." My voice actually sounded even and normal, like we'd been talking about the weather instead of a mass murderer.  
  
Mr. Stark's shoulders relaxed a bit as I continued.  
  
"I'm just going to say that if he talks to me I'm going to punch him in the face."  
  
Everyone chuckled and Mr. Stark grinned, "No one will stop you, firecracker."  


* * *

After my fully justified outburst regarding a particular Norse god, Natasha accompanied me back to my room to help me unpack. Well, after she helped me change the bandage on my thigh, which by the way was completely soaked with blood. I'd done so much moving around that some of the foam had separated away from the wound. She assured me that I was going to be fine, but I needed to stop running around so much. We both decided to get as much unpacking done as possible because tomorrow I probably wasn't going to be walking much.  
  
I'd managed to find a pair of old shorts with little sleeping cats on them and tugged them on. My legs and forearms still looked horrible, but there was nothing I could do about it. After I changed, we started in on putting things away. It was nice to talk to a woman who didn't give me a hard time about my weight or look down on me within the first few minutes of meeting me. She had a brilliant smile that would have sent any man's heart racing and I found myself envious of it.   
  
"So, Tony said that you are actually an accountant?" Natasha asked, putting a stack of plates away.   
  
"Yeah, though that wasn't my dream job. I needed something that was relatively stable and I could make decent money at. That hasn't been the case lately though."  
  
"Oh?" Natasha seemed interested and I found myself trying to figure out what to say without her pitying me. I mean, I really didn't need a superhero to feel sorry for my fucked up life.   
  
"Uh, well," I mumbled, pulling another box towards me and cutting the tape. "Well, at my last job I was the Lead Accountant for Xavier & Sons, but I ended up getting fired... Well, I technically quit and told my boss to fuck off, but on paper, I was fired for misconduct. My boss was a sexist pig that liked to make comments about my weight or my mouth. So now, because of all that, I've been black walled from my own career. I had to find something to pay the bills."   
  
I was so focused on pulling out perfectly wrapped picture frames that I didn't notice that Natasha had stopped putting things away. I felt her eyes on me though and I looked up to see her staring at me. The look on her face said it all and I laughed.   
  
"Hey, it's no big deal. That kind of shit has always happens to me. If it's not my boss, it's my co-workers, or it's my landlord, or it's aliens blowing up half the city. It's always something. I've just kind of accepted that this is how things are." I gave her a happy go lucky smile as she shook her head.   
  
"I would have killed him."   
  
The way she said it was deadly serious and the look on her face made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Fucking hell, this woman was dangerous as fuck. Though now that I thought about it, she was carrying handguns when I first met her.   
  
"Oh please," I said, trying to sound like my heart wasn't pounding with sudden anxiety. "He isn't worth the cheap suits he wears. Besides, I don't work there anymore so it doesn't really matter."   
  
I turned my attention back to the wrapped frames in my hands and started to unwrap them. Whoever had packed my stuff had done it neatly and labeled everything. It made me sad that I'd have to pack it all up again. My packing jobs normally consisted of throwing as much crap in a box as was physically possible and tapping it. No labels, no nothing. About the only things I did wrap when I moved were my pictures.   
  
Natasha came and sat down next to me on the couch as I took my time to savor each picture. The first two had been of my parents and my sister, but the third was of my kids. I smiled as Natasha looked at the pictures with curiosity and I handed her the picture of the twins.   
  
"This is River," I tapped her image and then Atticus's, "and this is Atticus." They were both smiling huge smiles, both of them missing the same teeth and covered in silly string. A birthday banner was out of focus in the background and there was a hint of the top of a half-eaten birthday cake.   
  
"They are beautiful," Natasha spoke softly, looking up from the picture.   
  
"They are," I smiled and took the picture back, rubbing the frame with my thumbs. Their black hair and deep green eyes were a dead match for their father, but I didn't care. All I saw was my kids.   
  
"My daughter would have liked you. She was a really strong little girl. Always helping people and always sticking up for people who were picked on. They were born two minutes apart, Atticus being the older of the two. But she's the one who always protected him."   
  
Tears were starting to prickle my eyes again and I set the picture down in a huff. Fucking hell, no more crying today. No more thinking about things I couldn't change and no more wallowing in my own bullshit.   
  
"Come on, let's finish this up. There are only a few more boxes." I stood, my leg shaking from the effort but Natasha didn't press about my kids or remind me to sit back down. Instead, she smiled and stood too, helping me grab a few more boxes. After that, we focused the conversation on more mundane things as we continued to unpack, like gossip about her teammates.   
  
Apparently, Thor became very lovey-dovey if you managed to get him drunk enough. It didn't happen often and only with the help of Asgardian ale, but when it did happen it always made for a fun evening of him trying to kiss and hug people. Bruce Banner turned out to be the big green blob monster I thought was going to eat us before, also known as the Hulk. I could tell by the way she talked about him that she totally had a thing for him. I held back teasing her, but just barely. Then there was Clint, who was the bow and quiver guy who had shown up that same night, her best friend and was really close with him.   
  
I asked about the Rubix cube I'd seen when I'd come earlier to meet them in the conference room upstairs. At first, she looked confused and then she seemed to remember.   
  
"Oh!" She let out a snicker, "Tony and Bruce had a bet."  
  
"A bet?" I asked, confused.  
  
"Yeah, Tony bet Bruce on how the meeting would go earlier. Each color was split between the two of them with different scenarios. They were working out the probability of what you would do. They picked a Rubix cube because it was the most 'unbiased form' or something."  
  
I blinked, "Scenarios?"  
  
"Yeah, Tony thought you'd be grateful and cooperative, Bruce thought that you'd run away and quit. Turns out everyone was wrong. Instead, you told Tony to fuck off and assumed you were fired." Natasha chuckled as I gaped at her.  
  
"But I was fired..."   
  
"No, you weren't. Tony is a lot of things, but he does actually care about people. Which is why he had a moving service pack up your house the moment you were gone. Why else would he call you all the way down here? There were other ways to handle talking to you. He could have just as easily spoken to you on the phone."  
  
I paled at first and then my cheeks slowly started to grow hot. Wow, I totally got played. In a good way, kind of. Natasha chuckled and patted me on the shoulder.  
  
"You jump to conclusions a lot. Suspicious of things and aggressive where you shouldn't be."  
  
I groaned and covered my face with my hands out of a form of self-preservation.  
  
"Fuck me," I mumbled.


	8. Moldy Afghans/ Doesn't Matter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you are wondering when the star of the show is going to appear, worry not. Just like any big star he is fashionably late...and a complete ass.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading, I feel like I'm starting to get my spark back finally. And a big thank you for those that left comments and/or kudos. Much appreciated! ^_^

The next day was Saturday, which meant I overslept because I could and totally not because I was completely exhausted. Really, I wasn't emotionally drained or physically worn out from my injuries...

Okay, fine, I was beyond exhausted. By the time Natasha had left, I fell asleep with my clothes still on, on the couch. When I finally did wake up it was to someone gently shaking my shoulder.

"Mom... Mom, wake up. You're drooling."

I blinked several times, trying to work through the blurriness in my vision. Slowly Atticus's face came into view. His green eyes were filled with humor and slightly covered by his mess of black hair.

"Huh...?" I mumbled as I forced myself to sit up. I ached everywhere, from my neck down to my ankles. It was such a deep ache that I winced as I scooted over to make room for Atticus, who promptly sat down.

"Morning, Ms. Drool." A smirk tugged at his lips as I wiped my mouth with my shirt. Ugh, I had been drooling.

"Jeez, good morning to you too," I grumbled before narrowing my eyes at him playfully, "Have fun at Randy's?"

Atticus tried to look like my teasing didn't affect him, but he wasn't able to stop the blush that crept up his neck and cheeks. Ha! I knew it.

"We didn't do anything, okay?"

I laughed at his defensiveness and threw my arm around him in a hug, kissing his black mop of hair. He might look like a tough guy, but he was actually pretty sensitive. He had a good head on his shoulders too.

"I know, I'm just giving you a hard time. Besides, you called me Ms. Drool."

He rewarded me with a small smile, "Yeah, alright. So," he turned to look at me, "Avengers Tower huh?"

I shrugged, pulling my uninjured leg up under my other knee on the couch, which was surprisingly comfortable by the way.

"Well, T—I mean—Mr. Stark offered us a place to stay while he and Dr. Banner check me out. I figured it was better than the shelter on Groves Lane." I fiddled with my wrinkled t-shirt, trying to figure out how to approach the topic of a particular Norse god living on the same floor as us.

Atticus smiled, it was clear he was excited. This was the happiest I'd seen him in a while, I didn't want to crush it.

"I see you got it all unpacked."

"Yeah, Natasha helped me last night. I left your room for you to do because I wasn't sure where you would want everything."

Atticus nodded, "That's fine, I'd rather do it myself anyway. Hey, do you think I could meet Tony Stark?"

I laughed, I knew that was coming. He wouldn't be excited about Natasha, but Tony, that was different. That was his idol.

"Sure, I have to see him for my checkups so, I don't think it would be too much of a problem."

"Sweet," He grinned.

The conversation stalled out and I bit my lip, "Hey, I have something to tell you. You won't like it, but I think you should know."

"You've gained powers from that crap you crawled through and now you can undress men with your eyes, literally."

I laughed, which made him smile. After I got myself under control, I chuckled nervously, not sure how he would take the news.

"God, no. I don't even want to know if that's a power or not. It's just, uh, Loki is also staying here...on this floor."

There was a long pause and Atticus looked down at his shoes for a moment, before sighing. Damnit, I knew I was going to shatter all that excitement. Maybe I should have waited? But there was no way of knowing when we'd run into him. I didn't want Atticus to be taken by surprise.

I'd like to point out that as much I think I know my son, sometimes he hits me sideways with shit.

**Exhibit A:** "Yeah, I figured as much."

"Huh?" I blinked.

**Exhibit B:** "Well, he was one of the people who brought you home that night."

I gaped at him in shock.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

**Exhibit C:** "It's fine. I kind of figured this was going to happen. Mr. Stark being who he is and you being, you. I got it off my chest that night when he and his brother brought you home and put you in bed. Randall helped me kind of process it later, so I'm good."

See what I mean!?

He leaned over and kissed my forehead before standing, "I'm gonna go shower and then work on my paper some more. You might want to shower too."

"B-but..." I stuttered, trying to find logical thoughts somewhere. Nothing was coming out though and Atticus smiled, his green eyes soft and content. He looked, peaceful.

"Really, I'm okay. You should be too. Seriously, shower. You smell like old socks and moldy afghans."

His dig at my age by comparing me to socks and afghans snapped me out of my stupor and I snorted.

"I do not smell like old socks and afghans!"

Atticus grinned and walked toward the bathroom, fully aware that he had me.

"I didn't say afghans, I said moldy afghans."

"Brat!" I called after him.

* * *

I just want to say that I hate hospitals. Let's be honest, I've never had a good experience in one, ever. It's a fifty-fifty shot on if your nurses are going to be nice and if your doctor is going to treat you like an actual person, and not another faceless drone.

Now, compare that to sitting in a regular office chair, in a very expensive high tech lab with a nerdy guy in glasses trying to stick you with a needle to draw blood.

I'll take the nerdy guy any day, hands down.

I don't know what I was expecting, maybe like a lot of tubes and wires being shoved into my skin or maybe one of those weird eyeball things that don't allow you to blink. You know, something that would be totally at home in a lab such as this. Instead, Dr. Banner, or Banner as he asked me to call him; had steady hands and a very calm, almost withdrawn, disposition. He didn't really make eye contact and he didn't touch me more than was necessary. He actually looked like he felt bad for having to stick me a couple of times because my veins were so deep.

I could totally see why Natasha was into him.

I couldn't help my smile as I watched him finally get the needle in and start filling up the tube. There were thirteen massive ones in all that we had to fill. Tony wasn't there, having had some kind of meeting I guess. Atticus wasn't too bummed when JARVIS explained that he wouldn't be in the lab today. He had his paper to finish and a room to unpack.

"What? Is something wrong?" He glanced up at me, his brow slightly furrowed and I shrugged just enough so as not disturb the needle in my arm.

"Nothing, sorry. I was just thinking."

Have I mentioned that I don't always have the ability to keep my face neutral? It's a fucking curse, let me tell you. I'm good at keeping secrets, but my thoughts sometimes show up on my face like a flashing neon sign on the Vegas strip. I've gotten better over the years, but old habits die hard.

"Oh," he said absently, fully content to let the conversation die there.

"I'm sorry by the way, for you know, shooting you in the face before. I was just really scared and you uh, well you were..."

"It's fine. You don't need to apologize."

I blinked, "Yes I do."

He looked at me then, eyes focused on me and I felt myself squirm.

"I mean, it had to of hurt, right? Getting shot I mean. I'm glad it didn't kill you, I would have felt...shit, I would have been devastated if you died. I've never hurt anyone before." I frowned slightly as his eyes drifted back down and switched out the tube.

"I don't remember, so it doesn't matter."

I frowned harder as that sank in, how could it not matter? Even if he didn't remember, I did. I knew what I did and that mattered a hell of a lot.

The silence stretched on for a while, he switched tubes as I mulled over this bit of information. Maybe he didn't remember when he was the Hulk, but that didn't mean he wasn't affected by it.

"You know," I said, "just because you don't remember doesn't mean that it affects you any less. And even if you don't accept my apology, I still am sorry for shooting you and the Hulk in the face."

At first, I didn't see any change in his demeanor. Just him, switching out tubes. But then I saw the way his brow had softened just a touch and his ears looked slightly pink. It was kind of cute and I was glad he wasn't looking at me because my face would have said a whole fuck ton right then.

Finally, the last tube was filled and he pressed a gauze pad to my arm as he pulled out the needle. He carefully wrapped my arm up with a Coban and turned away from me.

"You can go now," he mumbled.

"Thanks," I said as I stood up and stretched. "Oh, I was gonna ask if maybe my son could come up here sometime with me when Tony is around. He'd really like to meet him."

Banner blinked at me for a moment and then nodded, "As long as he doesn't touch anything I don't think it will be an issue."

I grinned, "Thanks Banner. See you later."

He turned back around as I left the lab. Natasha was going to have her hands full if she ever managed to hook up with him. What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic and they definitely had that Beauty and The Beast thing going on. I was going to cheer them on because honestly, I thought it could work.

Not like my love life, which was non-existent. Now that I really thought about it, I don't think I'd ever been in love. Even with the kids' father, I'm sure that I wasn't in love. You don't fuck over the people you love. You don't ignore them or treat them like trash.

And you definitely don't fuck their sister a week after they sleep with you.


	9. Connecting With The Family Jewels

There are some things in this world you are never fully prepared for that happen during your life. The first time you have sex for example. I bet dollars to fucking donuts, it was not what you were expecting in the slightest. It's awkward, messy, sticky, uncomfortable and not at all satisfying if one of you finishes before the other.

And I'd be willing to bet that if you could go back in time with the knowledge you have now about sex and your personal preferences, you'd hop in your time machine like Dr. Who and do that shit over.

Keeping this in mind, I'm here to tell you nothing, absolutely nothing, prepares you for meeting the person you hate most in the world for the first time.

But I'll get to that.

* * *

The elevator dinged and opened up to the living quarters. I could hear people talking over one another from somewhere down the hallway, probably in the living room or kitchen common areas. I slowly made my way towards them, hobbling along, curiosity getting the best of me. I didn't recognize all of the voices so it must have been the other Avengers back from wherever they had been since the attack on the building.

As I rounded the corner I peeked into the common living room to see three men I didn't know and Natasha. Their conversation stopped as Natasha spotted me and grinned.

"There she is now," she motioned for me to come over and I felt really nervous. All three of them were fucking gorgeous. Like GQ models on steroids with sex appeal you could choke on. Oh god, fucking kill me now.

Feeling extremely self-conscious, I hobbled in as Natasha introduced me.

"This is Brynn," she smiled as she looped her arm in mine. "Brynn, this is Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America."

Steve offered me a Boy Scout smile, "Nice to meet you, ma'am."

He was taller than I thought he would be with a massive chest and muscled arms that could have bear hugged me into a coma. His eyes were kind and he had a jawline that would make any grown woman beg for mercy.

"H-Hello," I stuttered as I gave him a little wave.

"This is Thor, God of Thunder from Asgard." Thor's long blonde hair was pulled back out of his face, exposing his blue eyes and rugged features. He was sporting a hoodie, halfway zipped over a grey shirt and jeans. He was so handsome that my mouth dropped open. Holy mother of god, I needed to get my shit together.

He grinned at me and I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. Natasha didn't wait for him to say anything and moved on.

"And this is Clint, also known as Hawkeye." Clint was shorter than the others, but still good looking. He had a kind of dad thing going on and it made me feel a little more at ease.

"Hey," he simply said and I smiled.

"Hey, nice to meet you."

Natasha chuckled as she tugged on my arm a little to snap me out of my staring. Somehow, my eyes had naturally drifted back to Thor. Jesus, I could see why he was the god of thunder. He caught my eye and smirked like he knew how good looking he was and I felt my face flush. Son of a bitch, someone save me from myself.

"So, you are to be staying here in Stark's tower?" Thor's voice had a slight accent to it and I could feel my heart give a few quick beats.

"Uh, yeah. I'm going to be cleaning the common areas and stuff while I'm here."

Wow, how fucking lame did that sound? I would have smacked my forehead but Steve distracted me with another question.

"We also heard that you have your son here too?"

"Oh, yes," I smiled, it was easier to talk about Atticus instead of myself. "He's sixteen and amazingly smart."

"Not really," said a familiar voice and I looked behind me to see that Atticus had emerged from our little apartment. His hair had been combed, but still hung in his eyes as he approached. I grinned as I stepped away from Natasha and gave him a quick side hug.

"This is my son, Atticus."

I made the introductions, trying my best not to let my eyes linger too long on any one of the fine-ass men before me. Atticus greeted them easily as if meeting them was the equivalent of meeting new neighbors. Now that I thought about it, I guess it was. Somewhere between the introductions, I realized that Atticus had already met Thor...when he brought me home.

Atticus gave me a side look that hinted that he knew how attractive all three guys were. It was quick, but it made me blush regardless. Trying to avoid looking like a complete weirdo, I turned suddenly to Thor.

"I wanted to say thank you for bringing me home the other day. Atticus just told me earlier that you had brought me home."

Thor smiled, "Of course, you fought bravely against Banner. You may be a mere human, but you are a warrior."

I blinked at him for a moment. There was no way in hell I would call that fighting with him or even being a warrior. It was more like I was scared out my fucking mind and thought I was gonna get eaten.

Before I could open my mouth to tell him this, Atticus tensed beside me as a smooth voice spoke from directly behind me.

"No 'thank you' for the man who did the _actual_ heavy lifting?"

Natasha's face hardened and I knew without a doubt who was behind me. Something must have shown on my face because Thor, Clint, and Steve looked concerned. Slowly, I turned and looked up the few inches at the man who had taken something precious away from me.

His eyes were greener than Atticus's, almost like bright emeralds. His sharp features were striking, both beautiful and masculine at the same time. Shoulder length black hair was combed back, exposing his face which only highlighted the smirk on his face. He stood there, one hand in his pocket, dressed in a black on black suit and a green tie that almost matched his eyes. He gave off an air of mischievousness and arrogance and I found myself clenching my jaw.

If I didn't know who he was and what he had done I would have been attracted to him. I loved tall, dark and handsome guys. But I'd learned a long time ago that a pretty face could hide the asshole underneath just fine. In this case, a murderous asshole with a fucking attitude. 'Heavy lifting', fucking asshole.

Atticus was still tense beside me, "Mom," he whispered just barely enough to hear.

Yeah, it probably wasn't a good idea to engage this douchebag. There was nothing to really say either. No words could be said to bring back my daughter and erase the pain Atticus and I felt. That's probably why Atticus said he was fine now, he realized way before me that the deed was already done. Nothing was going to make it better. Goddamnit, when did he grow up so much?

"Oh come now darling, surely you can manage a simple thank you. You thanked my dear brother with no problem."

Then again, all that anger had to find an outlet somehow.

Just like that, I felt a calm wash over me, settling in my shoulders and I smiled a gentle smile at him. I took a step forward, ignoring the pain in my leg and for the second time in my life, I reacted with violence.

I'm not sure exactly what happened in my brain between one breath and the next, but my fist clenched and before I could stop myself, I kicked him as hard as I could in the groin. I watched in slow motion as my tennis shoe connected in a graceful arch, making him double over in pain.

Damn, I was really hoping he would have crumpled onto the floor. But the surprised, pained sound that left him had satisfaction washing over me like a hot shower. That felt fucking good. Really, really fucking good.

The silence that had followed was broken by Natasha's stifled laughter and a chorus of winces and 'ows' behind me as I reached for Atticus's hand without looking. He didn't feel so tense now and something eased in my chest.

"Thank you," I said flatly as Loki looked up at me, his eyes were murderous and I narrowed my eyes back at him. I could practically feel myself daring him to attack me. Which was fucking stupid, I'd gotten lucky with that kick and I knew it the moment my foot connected. His eyes clearly said that it would never happen again and there'd be payback. So what? Bring it on you dick.

"Are you...okay brother?" Thor spoke from behind me as Loki straightened himself and tried to not let on that he was still in pain. Demigod or no, getting kicked in the balls hurt. Good.

"Fine, I'm fine," he muttered as Steve cleared his throat. I took the opportunity to look at Atticus, asking him with a look if he was okay. He was pale, but there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. Yeah, that's right, I kicked a demigod in the balls for you and your sister. He gave me a rueful smile and I felt myself relax finally.

Whether it was from the adrenaline of kicking Loki in the balls or those thirteen massive tubes of blood Banner had drawn I suddenly felt light-headed.

"Atticus," I said, suddenly trying to grab for him as my legs started to give out.

"Mom!?"

My vision swam and I lost my balance as the room spun and jerked in the wrong direction. Son of a bitch, I just couldn't catch a break, could I? I expected the fall to hurt, the carpet was that thin crap that barely qualified as carpet and was glued over concrete. If I was lucky I'd avoid a concussion. But the pain I was expecting never came. Instead, I felt strong arms quickly grab me as I fell, my head landing against something firm and warm before I blacked out.

* * *

I woke up sometime later on my bed with the door cracked and complete silence. My head was pounding and I regretted sitting up immediately after I did it.

"Oh god," I moaned painfully, holding my head. My eyes hurt and my leg was throbbing. Never in my life had I ever fainted, blacked out, and physically hurt as much as I had over the last several days. Looking over, there was a tall glass of orange juice and a note sitting on my bedside table. It took me a moment to convince myself that I should move to look at the note, but I managed.

_**Mom,** _

_**Your blood sugar got too low. Drink the OJ. Headed to Randall's, I'll be home late.** _

_**P.S. Can't believe you kicked him in the balls.** _

_**Atticus** _

The note was peppered with laughing little smiley faces and what looked to be a foot kicking a groin. I chuckled and put the note down. I missed him. He'd been spending a lot of time at Randall's lately and so we hadn't really hung out that much. I knew he was busy and he wanted to spend time with his man, but dammit. I was lonely without him here. God only knew what I was going to do once he graduated and moved out. I'd have to pick up a hobby or something. Or get a cat. A cat...fuck me, I was gonna be one of those women with no life.

I grabbed the OJ and took a good couple of sips, trying to ease the depression and sadness that had slowly been building up over the last few months. It was still cold, so he probably hadn't left all that long ago. I managed to get it all down and after a few more minutes it felt like my head was feeling better. Looking down at myself I sighed, I really need a shower. I'd been sweating while passed out and I felt fucking gross.

A few pain-filled minutes later, I was in the shower and enjoying the hot water washing over my skin. I hadn't realized before but I had several bruises all over my body. Most of them were healing but there was one over my breastplate that was still a deep bluish black color. I had no idea how I got it and I hadn't noticed it before, but it didn't really matter. One injury among many.

Just as I turned off the water and stepped out, I heard the front door open and someone walk into the living room. I wrapped a fluffy black towel around me, which wasn't nearly wide enough for me, hitting me just barely below my ass. It covered the rest of me though when I tucked it between my breasts. Thank god. Seriously, why do they not make towels big enough? Big women needed more fucking love in this world.

I opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the short hallway, calling out to Atticus.

"Hey, I thought you were going to stay out late tonight. You and Randal didn't have a fight did you?"

It was quiet for a moment before he answered, "Uh, no. We're fine, I just forgot something in my room."

"Oh, okay. Let me change really quick, I want a hug before you go."

"...Right..." He answered, unsure.

Brushing it off, I slipped into my room and shut the door. I could hear him shuffling around like he was looking for something in the living room before finally wandering down the hallway to his room.

Taking off the towel and I dried my hair with it as I pulled out a clean set of clothes. I wasn't planning on leaving so I pulled on a pair of comfy tie-dye shorts and a blue tank top. I wrapped my thigh quickly with the dressings that Natasha had brought me the night before. Going back to drying my hair, I met Atticus in the small hallway and smiled at him.

"Find what you're looking for?"

He nodded and motioned to his backpack that hung off his shoulder. I smiled and kissed his temple and pulled him into a hug. He stiffened, holding his breath. I looked at him as I let him go, frowning.

"You sure everything is okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he mumbled as he shifted his backpack up on his shoulder. I raised an eyebrow at him as he continued to squirm.

"Bullshit, somethings up. What is it?"

Atticus hesitated, finally looking at me. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped as he looked at a place somewhere on my chest.

"What is that?"

"Huh?" I looked down and spotted the dark bruise that was peeking out of the top of my shirt.

"Oh, just a bruise. I didn't even notice it until I was in the shower. I mean really look at me." I motioned to myself, arms still covered in scabs from glass, cuts on my exposed legs and the massive bandage on my thigh. Not to mention the small bruises on the insides of my arms from where Banner struggled to get a good vein.

"I'm like a walking wound at this point," I laughed and Atticus gave me a stiff smile.

"Sweetie, I'm fine. Really, it's not that bad. It's just going to take a while to heal." I kissed his temple again trying to reassure him before walking into the living room and sitting down carefully on the couch. Now that everything was put away I felt like I could finally relax a bit. Atticus followed me but stayed standing as I half laid, half sat on the couch as I started flipping through the channels on the tv. We hadn't had a tv in two years because it was too damn expensive and now I found myself overwhelmed with excitement at its sudden appearance in my life.

I grinned at Atticus, "It's a shame you're leaving. We could have watched a documentary on sea cumbers together and compared them to male genitalia. But I suppose hanging out with your boy toy is more appealing than hanging out with your mom," I teased, giving him a sly smile.

Atticus's mouth dropped open in pure shock and I raised an eyebrow at him. He huffed and turned towards the door, walking briskly.

I laughed, "Really? Nothing? No comment from my son about male genitals?” I waited for some kind of sarcastic retort or anything, but I didn’t even get that. He paused only for a moment before waking again and I sighed softly.

“Alright, well have a good time. I love you."

Atticus didn't respond as the door opened automatically and shut behind him. I blinked, a feeling of indescribable emotion flickering through me.

That was the first time Atticus didn't say I love you back.


	10. Dresses Are For Dates

Six weeks passed with no more incidents of me getting hurt. I was pretty much all healed up with no scaring anywhere, which I considered fucking lucky. Even the wound on my thigh looked like smooth skin with no mark whatsoever. The only part that hadn't healed yet was the bruise on my breastplate. It had gotten smaller but hadn't disappeared. Banner and Tony had taken a few skin scrapings of it, but it was inconclusive as to what the fuck it was.

All my blood tests were normal. Along with my breathing, blood pressure, oxygen, eyesight, everything. They had even hooked me up to some machine that took a complete scan of my body, nothing. Nothing but the bluish black spot that is. Personally, I figured I was in the clear. If something was going to change and I was gonna suddenly have powers, it would have shown up by now. But Tony and Banner were both insistent that I stay the six months. It felt like I was mooching off Tony. When I told him that he laughed so hard tears almost reached his eyes.

Whatever.

So I agreed to stay, which Atticus loved. He'd been spending more time hanging around joking and laughing with Natasha and Steve. He hadn't managed to bond too much with Banner, but I didn't worry too much. Banner was trying his damnedest to keep his distance as much as possible, especially from Natasha.

Don't even get me started on Natasha and Banner. Those two wanted each other so bad it hurt to be in the same room with them sometimes. He'd glance at her when she wasn't looking and she would steal glances back. It was like fucking torture. I wanted to do something to nudge that situation in the right direction, but I had no idea how to go about it.

Tony and Banner became some of Atticus’s go to buddies when he was having what I called a severe nerd attack and needed other like-minded brains to bounce things off of. Only then did Banner seem animated and engrossed. It was kind of cute.

Clint was hardly around and only came by occasionally. I was never sure where he went or what he did when he wasn't there, but I was betting he had better places to be.

As for Thor, my initial attraction was quickly squashed when I discovered he had a girlfriend. A very earnest scientist whose name was Jane Foster, and no she wasn't related to me. I met her a couple of times when I had to go to the lab for my check-ups. She was always drowning in work, but she was nice and easy to talk to. I liked her a lot.

As you’ve probably noticed, I have left out one person. For good fucking reason.

In the six weeks that I'd been at the Avengers Tower, Loki had decided to follow me around. Now I say that he was following me, but really I didn't have a better word for it. If I left my little apartment to hang out in the common areas he was there. If I was cleaning, he'd show up to get in my way. If I was coming back from the lab, he was fucking there walking down the hallway.

Now I know what you're thinking, it's all in my head right? I'm just imagining him being everywhere all the fucking time. But no, he was always there, and always with a comment about what I was doing or interjecting something into my conversation with someone. I had done really well with just ignoring him, but it was hard. His sarcastic smirk was driving me nuts. It also didn't help that he was good looking.

Don't misunderstand me, I couldn't stand him and I hated him.

But you know what they say, forbidden fruit and all that crap.

It all started with a party.

* * *

"So you're going to come right?"

Natasha's eyes were brimming with excitement and I knew it had nothing to do with the party and everything to do with the fact that Banner was going to be there and would have to socialize. Tony never let him get out of social situations. It was kind of cute, how they had their little bromance going on.

"Ugh, I don't know. I don't even own a dress nice enough to wear to something like that. Besides, I need to clean tonight."

Did I mention I don't particularly like parties? Even though I said all that, I knew I'd end up going. Banner and I were in the same boat if Tony said everyone was to come, he meant everyone.

Natasha gave me a teasing smirk and I rolled my eyes. She knew I was trying to come up with excuses to not go. Damnit.

"Well, we could always go dress shopping."

"Right, we're going to go downtown and find a dress that looks good on me. What's the point? You only dress up when you have a date and I don't date." I said flatly, sipping my cup of coffee.

We'd started having coffee together every morning in the common kitchen. There was a killer espresso machine in there that seriously brewed the best coffee, it was like nectar of the gods.

"You've said that before, but what about Atticus?"

"There's going to be booze everywhere and probably making out," I gave her a pointed look as she avoided my gaze. "Besides, Atticus has a date with his boyfriend tonight." I sighed, taking a sip out of my mug.

Natasha hummed in thought as she took a sip too.

"What about Steve?"

"No thanks."

"What? Why not?" She looked genuinely surprised and I laughed.

"Seriously? Come on, he's a sweetheart and I know he would go with me. But it's easy to tell his heart wouldn't be in it and it would be awkward as hell."

"Well, Clint is out," she huffed, silently agreeing with me about Steve. Thor was out for obvious reasons and Tony was bringing his girlfriend, Pepper Pots.

"Again, none of this matters. I don't date. Never have and I don't expect to now. I'm thirty-two and a single mother. Even I know that's a deal breaker. I'm also not a size six and a badass assassin."

"Hey!" She pouted playfully and I chuckled.

"Oh shut it, it's true and you know it. Look, I'll go to appease Tony and you, but I'm going to just wear what's in my closet and go stag."

Before she could reply Loki sauntered in wearing a pair of black slacks and a dark forest green shirt that made his eyes pop. I made it a point to not look at him and focused instead on drinking my coffee. Natasha sighed, tapping her fingers on the counter.

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit. So your not a size six, who cares? So you're a single mother, so what? You should at least try to have fun and that means dressing up and looking like a million dollars when you walk into that party."

Loki had moved behind the counter where I was and was filling a mug with hot water from the espresso machine to steep some tea in when he decided to add his two cents.

"Feeling a little self-conscious darling? Worried you might stand out in the land of gods and heroes?" His voice was smooth and taunting and it made goosebumps run along the back of my neck, his words instantly irritating me. Natasha narrowed her eyes at him.

Don't engage the asshole, don't do it. Breathe.

Taking a deep breath, I ignored him and focused on Natasha.

"I get what you're saying and I appreciate it. But I'm not going to spend money on a fancy dress I'll wear once to a party. There's no point."

"I believe the point in wearing a dress to a party is so someone can take it off of you, with their teeth."

Natasha and I both looked at Loki as he smirked and took a sip of his tea that had finished steeping. See? This was the kind of shit I was talking about. It was mocking, sexual, taunting and I hated it.

His green eyes were intense and focused completely on me like Natasha wasn't even there. I quickly avoided his gaze and snorted.

"Pretty sure it's impossible to take a dress off with your teeth," I muttered, taking a sip of my coffee. I was trying hard not to blush at the thought of anyone doing that to me. Let's be real, it would never happen.

"If you think it's impossible, then you haven't been with the right man darling."

Natasha's eye grew wide as she looked between him and me and that blush I'd be fighting rose up without a care of my personal feelings. Fine, if he wanted to be like that I was going to let him have it.

I set my cup down a little harder than I intended to and turned to face him head-on. He hadn't moved an inch as he stood there, leaning against the counter and sipping his tea.

"And what? You're the right man?"

Loki's eyes seemed to shift in color, but I couldn't tell you how as a devilish grin spread across his face.

"It's cute that you think I'm the right man for you darling, but I was simply stating a fact."

I gaped at him. Okay, I fully walked into that one and I threw my hands up in irritation.

"God, just go the fuck away!"

I yelled and I hadn't meant to, but Loki found it funny because he chuckled and took another sip of his tea.

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because I hate you."

"Ah," he said. But he still wasn't moving and I turned my back on him. I caught a smile creeping up on Natasha's face and I glared at her. She quickly hid it, but the damage was done. Her eyes were still amused as she took another sip of her coffee.

"You say that you hate me, but do you even know me?" Loki spoke up again and I groaned, rubbing my hand over my face.

"I don't want to know you."

"Yes, I know. But you can't truly hate someone unless you know them. You've spent the last six weeks getting to know this band of merry men but you've not taken the time to know me."

I sighed, wanting this conversation to end.

"What's your point?"

"Go to the party with me tonight."

Natasha almost spit out her coffee as I turned, glaring at him.

"Not for all the money in the world."

"Why not? I am part of this team. Do I not get the same kindness and courtesy as the rest?"

"No, you don't, because you're a murderous bastard and I can't stand you,” I snapped.

Loki looked more amused by the second as he set his tea down and stepped forward, invading my personal space to the point where I ended up backing into the counter.

"But you don't know me, remember? How can you say that? Are you so judgemental that you have written off a person before you know who they are and why they do things?

"I am not judgmental. I hate you because—"

He cut me off and straightened his cuff on his shirt, "I'll make a deal with you darling. You allow me to escort you to the party and take the time to know me and I'll stop driving you nuts, as you say, by following you around."

So he was following me around!? I fucking knew it!

The kitchen grew quiet and for a long time, I just stared at him. There was a catch in there somewhere. Some kind of gain he was hoping to get and for the fucking life of me I couldn't figure out what the hell it was. But if spending one night hanging around him would get him to leave me alone I'd take it.

"Fine," I finally said, "I accept. But if I find out you're doing this to fuck me over, I'm going to kick you in the balls again"

"You can try," he said as a predatory smile tugged at his mouth. “And I promise not to fuck you.”

I found myself starting to blush again and I snatched my coffee cup as I turned away from him and walked off. The way he said that implied that he had wanted or maybe thought about that. Which was completely ridiculous. The idea of even being in an intimate situation with him made my stomach churn.

"Natasha," I called over my shoulder, "we're going dress shopping."


	11. Sex + Fighting = Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading, leaving comments, Kudos and bookmarking! I really appreciate it and I'm so happy to hear that so many are into this. I know the relationship between Brynn and Loki seems completely hopeless at this point, but I did warn in my tags that this was going to be a slow build and a slow burn. There's going to be a lot of ups and downs, a lot of fighting and some really sarcastic funny comments. I hope you guys stick with me and again, super fans of Marvel, try not to judge me too harshly as I write this. 
> 
> Thank you again and keep commenting! I love hearing from you guys - good or bad. ^_^

This was so wrong, on _so_ many levels.  
  
Why I had agreed to this was fucking beyond me. I knew it wasn't because I seriously thought he'd stop following me around, though I did try my damnedest to convince myself of that. While it was annoying, it wasn't like he was threatening me or messing with my work. I knew he was up to something and while I had racked my brain about it all morning, I still couldn't come up with an answer as to what it could be. What the hell had I been thinking? He was a murderer and an asshole. More specifically he was my daughter's murderer...  
  
I almost backed out the moment that thought occurred, several hundred times if I'm honest. However, Natasha refused to let me do that. When I tried to justify why this was a bad idea she would distract me with something. Either asking me questions about what color of dresses I liked and if I thought the thigh slit dress she bought was too much for Banner to take in.  
  
We bought our dresses, of which I was two steps away from a nervous breakdown about. I mean really, why the hell should a dress cost over a thousand dollars!? Natasha didn't even bat an eye as she paid for both and then pushed us down the sidewalk to a boutique of sexy, lacy pieces of cloth that could by no means classify as underwear.  
  
"How is it that you've never bought lingerie?" Natasha said in awe as I stood there fidgeting. The dresses were getting couriered over so I was left standing there in my jeans and a simple faded green t-shirt. My purse still had a strap broken so I’d left it and shoved my wallet and phone in my pocket. I was so underdressed that just seeing myself in the display mirrors was painful.  
  
"I don't date, remember?" I sighed as I eyed a particular piece of red lace that might have been panties, but it might have been a garter belt too. It was hard to tell.  
  
"Okay, but you've had sex."  
  
Oh fuck me, this conversation was going to either turn me into a laughing stock or she was going to think less of me. Either way, it was going to be embarrassing.  
  
"Well, there was...the once..." I cringed as I half mumbled.  
  
Suddenly, Natasha was super close and her face took up my whole vision.  
  
"You mean...?" She whispered quietly and I felt my face flush from embarrassment. Stepping back a little to get some breathing room I shrugged and looked away from her.  
  
"Yeah, I got pregnant the first time I had sex. He was the high school quarterback. I had no idea my sister, who was in his class had a thing for him. He slept with me and a week later slept with her. She stopped talking to me completely and about two months later I found out I was pregnant. My parents were devastated and it was mutually decided I would move out of the house."  
  
I shrugged, glad that no one else was around us and that the boutique was pretty much empty. If it wasn't I probably would have brushed her off and I don't know, counted pairs of crotchless panties or something. As it was Natasha was staring at me intently, making me squirm.  
  
"Okay," she said simply as she grabbed my arm and yanked me towards the back of the boutique.  
  
"Whoa!" I almost tripped and fell on my face, but she was a lot stronger than she looked as she pulled me along.  
  
After a few panicked moments, she finally stopped in front of a large wall of plus size lingerie in every single color you could imagine. Facing me, she gave me a matter of fact look as she motioned to the wall.  
  
"Okay, I wasn't going to do this, but you need an intervention."  
  
I snorted and she narrowed her eyes at me. I quickly blanked my face. God, she was fucking scary sometimes.  
  
"Sex and fighting are like dancing."  
  
"Uh," I stared at her confused as she continued.  
  
"Just listen. Sex and fighting are both just a series of movements. Where one partner leads and the other follows. Sometimes it reverses and sometimes both are equal in skill and leverage."  
  
I really was trying hard to not make any jokes, but fuck she was making it difficult. I had the feeling though that if I cracked a joke, she might actually kick my ass.  
  
"Think of tonight as practice, or sparring if you will. Your opponent is a mischievous ass with an unknown agenda, able to use magic at will. Your goal is to treat him like he is your date and get to know him. Right?"  
  
"...Right..." I nodded, trying to follow.  
  
"In order to keep the focus off of whatever the hell his agenda is, you need to keep him distracted. In order to do that you need the best weaponry at your disposal." She motioned to the wall again and I raised my eyebrows.  
  
"Ok, I mean, I get what you're saying, but I'm not sleeping with him."  
  
Natasha made a face and I finally laughed.  
  
"Oh hell no, your goal is not to sleep with him. This is more like recon. You spend time with him, talk, whatever and then you get the fuck out of there. But since he is your sparring partner, in this case, you can practice on him too."  
  
"I don't get it."  
  
"You practice your sex appeal. You don't want to be some weird cat lady right?"  
  
I winced, it was like she fucking knew I had pretty much admitted to myself that after Atticus moved out, I'd probably get a cat for company.  
  
"N-no," I stuttered, "but I don't want him to think I want him or whatever. I don't want anything to do with him. I don't want to see him or hear him. I just want to ignore him, but he makes it fucking impossible. I don't want this to backfire on me."  
  
Natasha nodded, a serious look on her face as I spoke.  
  
"I get that. But he has already set himself up. He proposed this deal to get to know him and then he'd leave you alone. He probably won't, but if you catch him off guard enough you might be able to use it to your advantage."  
  
"Like a weapon?"  
  
"Exactly," she grinned as a glint in her eye flashed, "now let me introduce you to one of my personal favorite weapons..."

* * *

"Ms. Foster, your date has arrived."  
  
I groaned as JARVIS announced that Loki was outside my apartment door. I'd gotten dressed with Natasha's help and had barely caught my breath before she left and Loki made himself known.  
  
"Seriously JARVIS, do you _have_ to listen to every conversation?"  
  
"My apologies Ms. Foster, it's part of my programming."  
  
I sighed, "Yeah, I know. I'm just being bitchy. I’m sorry JARVIS. And stop calling me Ms. Foster, just call me Brynn."  
  
"No need to apologize, Brynn. I think under the current circumstances you are allowed to be 'bitchy'."  
  
I laughed, unable to stop myself. My laughed quickly died though and I sighed again. I began trying to talk myself into walking to the door. Honestly, I was excited but nervous. Pissed and kind of scared. Natasha could have had a career as a life coach if she wasn't already an assassin. She made tonight sound like it was going to be a piece of cake. My nerves, on the other hand, were a complete wreck. Maybe I should just leave him out there and take all this crap off.  
  
However, when I looked down at myself I had a hard time doing that. I had picked out a beautiful burgundy cocktail dress that was simple, but the cut complimented all my curves in just the right places. It made me look like I was all ass and boobs, not just tall and plump. My hair had been curled and twisted into a smooth updo that left a trail of hair to curve around my face. Natasha had done my makeup, giving my face a soft yet elegant look and honestly, it felt like I didn’t have anything on my face. A pair of pretty black flats had two soft cords that laced around my ankles. To top it all off I was wearing a black push up bra that made my cleavage look perfect without actually oozing out of the top of my dress. I’d even gotten panties to match. Natasha had also covered the black spot in my chest with enough cover-up that you'd never know it was there unless you were really looking.  
  
She was right, I looked like a million bucks. But damn, I couldn't shake off the feeling that this was a bad idea.  
  
"Brynn, your date is getting anxious."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." I sighed and walked towards the door. It opened smoothly as soon as I stopped in front of it.  
  
Loki's back was facing me, wearing another black suit and shoulders looking stiff. He spoke as he turned around and I tried hard not to fidget.  
  
"Well, well, looks like you are going to keep—" His speech slowed down as he finally looked at me, freezing just a moment before he continued. "—our deal."  
  
His eyes had widened and I let out a huff. I didn't know what that look on his face meant, and I didn't care.  
  
"Of course I'm going to keep our deal. I want you to leave me alone and apparently, this is the only way to do that.”  
  
My words were clipped as I stepped out and the door shut behind me. Loki kept looking at me but his face had become somewhat reserved.  
  
"Let's get this over with."  
  
I looked back at him expectantly and he seemed to realize I was waiting for him to do or say something. Recovering quickly, he held out his arm and I hesitantly placed mine in his. Being so close to him, I caught a whiff of his cologne. Some kind of sharp scent that reminded me of snow covered mountains and Christmas. My face must have given me away because he gave me a sultry smirk.  
  
"Having second thoughts about me, darling?"  
  
I rolled my eyes and immediately let go of his arm to step away from him. Regardless of how good he looked and how good he smelled, I was not going to get swept away.  
  
"Not in a million years and stop calling me 'darling'. I have a name, use it."  
  
Amusement sparked his eyes as he leaned closer to me, "I'll call you by your name if you call me by mine."  
  
Shit, I had never called him by name when I spoke with him, ever. Fucker got me again. Damnit!  
  
"Jesus, do you get some kind of enjoyment out of being an absolute ass?"  
  
I turned and started walking, ignoring how hot my face felt. This was never going to work, I might as well just surrender myself to the fact that he was going to mess with me for the next four and a half months.  
  
Loki quickly caught up to me and matched my brisk pace as we made our way to the elevator. For a few blissful moments, he didn't say anything and then he had to ruin it by opening his mouth.  
  
"I wouldn't say it's enjoyment, more like I have a knack for it."  
  
"Whatever, I don't care."  
  
"Now, now, are you calling off our deal?"  
  
I stopped then and glared at him, he didn't even have the decency to look like he was bothered.  
  
"Your mouth is going to end it for both of us."  
  
"My mouth?"  
  
He gave me that predatory smile again and I felt my face flush once more as I closed my eyes and tried to take a few calming breaths. After a moment I locked my gaze with his and tried not to yell.  
  
"Look, you want me to get to know you, fine. Act like you actually care about me knowing you because right now it's clear you're just trying to make a joke at my expense and I'm not into it. You want to escort me to this party? You want me to take you for something other than a murderer? Then act like it."  
  
That predatory smile faded and soon all that was left was his gaze piercing into mine. It took a lot of will power to keep looking at his bright green eyes, but I managed.  
  
"Very well.”  
  
Straightening, he held out his arm for me and after a second longer, I finally took it. Once my arm was settled against his we started walking again as if on queue to the elevator. It was like an instinct, our pace matching perfectly, stride for stride.  
  
It reminded me of what Natasha said earlier. Maybe we were dancing?  
  
Ha, no way in hell.


	12. Fatal Mistakes are Par for the Course

Walking into the party was the equivalent of walking into prom with the school bully and a mustard stain on my boob. I'd never gone to my prom, having decided instead to get my GED when I found out I was pregnant, but I imagined it probably felt about the same as it did now. There were a lot of people I didn't know and those I did recognize were currently wrapped up in various conversations. No one even looked at us as we entered, which wasn't that surprising really. We were invited after all, though I had no fucking idea why Tony had decided to throw a party. 

The music was quiet enough to talk over normally but easily could have been listened to at the bar. Everyone I saw looked like they had dressed up and I was glad that Natasha had gone dress shopping with me. 

Though, it was really all due to a certain person standing next to me. 

"Look at that, you blend in so well no one has even glanced at you." 

Loki his whispered words next to my ear sent a shiver up my back that tingled as it raced over my arms. His tone was taunting as if implying my ego was so easily shattered. I knew I was a nobody and that didn’t bother me at all. I let go of his arm as I gave him a cool look. 

"Yeah, well no one is looking at you either,  darling ." 

He blinked in surprise and I smirked at him before I turned and headed to the bar. I needed a drink if I was going to play pretend date. Something bitter and biting sounded about right. 

To my surprise, there wasn't anyone behind the bar. I looked around for someone to help, but as luck would have it, there wasn't anyone. Well, I guess I'd just wing it. 

The bottles of various liquors lined the long shelves in different colors and varieties. I hardly ever drank, so I didn't know what any of them really tasted like. I knew I liked vodka though, so I started eyeballing a few of the clear bottles trying to read around the other bottles when someone spoke. 

"Would you like some help, ma'am?" 

I smiled as I found a bottle that said vodka in small lettering and turned to face Steve. He was dressed in a nice leather jacket and button up shirt that didn't hide his broad chest at all. 

"I'm all good, thanks for checking on me Steve." 

Steve stared at me, his mouth slightly open as I found a glass and poured myself a healthy amount. 

"Want one?" I asked, taking a sip. It burned, making me cough a little before I took another, larger drink. 

"Brynn?" 

I chuckled, he looked liked he didn't know what to say and it was very cute. Though, him calling me ma'am made it sound like I was an old lady. Oh well, that's just how he spoke. I gave him credit though, in his position I don't know how well I'd fare waking up years later with all my loved ones gone. 

"In the flesh, Captain," I took a gulp out of my glass, feeling a tingling warmth rise up from my chest. It felt good and it helped me relax a bit. 

"I didn't recognize you, you look—" 

"Out of place?" I gave him a teasing smile and Steve rubbed his neck in embarrassment. 

"I was going to say beautiful," his tone was soft and I could tell he actually meant it. I would have given him a hard time, teasing him by asking if I wasn't always beautiful, but I didn't. Instead, I smiled softly at him. 

"Thank you." 

Maybe I could talk with Steve the whole night and avoid Loki all together because let's face it, I wanted to get to know Loki about as much as I wanted to crawl through glass covered alien goo again. The problem was, I could see him still standing in the same place I'd left him, watching me. It felt like his eyes were wandering over my face, bare shoulders and along my skin. It was annoying as it was unnerving. God, I was really going to have to talk to him, wasn't I? 

Fucking hell. 

I refilled my glass and poured another one, setting the bottle back on the shelf. I smiled at Steve and saluted him with my two drinks. 

"Well," I said, stepping out from behind the bar and approaching him, "I gotta run, but don't be a wallflower all night okay? Try to talk to another beautiful lady." 

I winked at him as I gave him a slight nudge with my elbow. He nodded, surprised to see me leave so suddenly, but he didn't comment as I walked back to Loki. Who, by the way, was still watching me. 

I won't lie, he looked good. Really good. His white shirt was a stark contrast to his black suit and for the first time, I realized his tie matched my dress. I was pretty sure it wasn't that color before. 

"Did you change your tie?" I asked, offering him the other glass I had poured. He looked at it for a moment before taking it. 

"Your powers of observation are riveting," his tone was bored as he took a sip. 

I sighed inwardly. I did not have the patience to deal with this man child. But Natasha told me to look at this like sparring. If I ignored the fact that my so-called date was the fucking bane of my existence, I might be able to get through this and gain a bit of life experience. Right? 

I could do this. I just needed to remember what Natasha had told me. Use your weapons and gain the most ground, that's how you won a fight. Be unpredictable and fierce. 

Who the hell was I kidding? There was no fucking way I'd be able to pull that off. I'd also come to the conclusion that he wouldn’t keep his end of the deal anyway. But he obviously wanted something from me. So Instead, I just went with my gut. 

"Come on," I said as I tugged on his other arm, which still had his hand in his pocket. 

"Huh—?" 

My sudden tugging and pulling had startled him into motion as I half dragged him towards a nearby couch that was tucked into a corner. It was out of the way, so we could talk and if I got pissed, as long as I didn't yell, no one would hear me. I let him go as soon as we neared the couch and I sat down, crossing my legs. His brow furrowed, half glaring and half confused. I leaned back, making myself comfortable as I took a slow sip of my drink. I was really starting to feel loose now and my mouth started going before I realized I was talking. 

"So, are you going to sit down and tell me what this is all about...?" 

His face shifted into that reserved look I was beginning to associate with him and I chuckled as I realized that was his, 'I'm thinking really hard' face." He didn't seem quite as deceptive right then, but I squashed that thought before I let it go down the wrong path. 

Finally, he sat down, a little ways away from me, but still within talking distance. 

"So," I said, "What do you want from me, because I know it wasn't to bring me to this party." 

"What makes you think I want anything from you? Are you so self-involved that you need to find a reason where there is none?” 

"Nope, this isn't about me. It's about you. Try again." 

"What makes you think this is about me? I am the god of mischief and magic." 

I smirked, "Exactly, and I'm a single mother who works as a housekeeper with a degree in accounting. So let's cut the bullshit, why the theatrics to ask to take me to this party? It's obvious you're not going to leave me alone, even after this. So there must be a reason behind all this." 

I motioned with my drink to the party that was going on around us and Loki took a sip of his own. I wasn't sure if it was a ploy to get more time before answering, but I doubted it. I also didn't think for one fucking second he'd actually tell me the reason. I mean really, he had no reason too and what was I going to do? Make him tell me? I had a sudden image of me getting in his face demanding answers as he shrunk back from me pop into my head. The thought made me stifle a laugh and he gave me a sharp look. 

"Sorry, sorry. I'm not laughing at you." 

"I don't see why you would, I haven't done anything amusing," his face was hard and his voice was dangerous. Maybe it was because of the booze, but I wasn't taking him seriously. He sounded like he was pouting. 

"Stop pouting. Look, if you won't tell me, let’s play a game." 

Loki's eyebrows rose as he took another sip, settling more into the couch. I could tell he was interested and I smiled. 

"We'll each ask each other three questions. Now if you don't want to answer one of the questions you have to do a dare and you have to answer the next question. No asking the same question, nothing too personal and the dares cannot be anything violent or mischevious." 

He sighed and set his drink down, "You really think this silly children's game is going to benefit you?" 

"Depends, do you think sitting here and talking with me like you promised is going to benefit you?" 

He stopped moving for a minute, his green eyes staring at me. There was that weird look again, that I had no fucking idea what it meant. It wasn't his thinking face or even the cold, serious one. It was softer and somehow more guarded. The look quickly vanished before I could try to decipher it, and he turned to face me more directly. I did the same, taking his movement to be an agreement to play. 

"Alright, first question..." 

* * *

 

I'm sure your thinking, 'Okay, she's been drinking, her inhibitions are lowered. Despite her wishing for his head on a pike, she's probably all over him' or some such bullshit. For the record, I'm not that easy. 

While I admit that the sound of his voice was alluring and his green eyes with all that dark hair surrounding them spiked my sex appeal meter into quadruple digits, I wasn't about to let myself get carried away. I had no intention to do anything other than sitting there and talking. 

But we all know how intentions are, the path to Hell is paved with good ones. Maybe the path the Heaven is paved with bad ones? If that’s the case, that would seriously explain a lot about my life. 

So, regardless of my intentions, I made one fatal mistake. 

I'm my own worst enemy. 

* * *

The game continued on for quite a while. Going back and forth, with no dares. Most of the information gained focused on likes and dislikes. His favorite color was green, shocker I know. Mine was blue. He liked the sound of rain but hated the sound of thunder. I liked the snow and didn't like being hot. He hated peas but liked chicken, Marsala. I loved strawberries but wasn't a big fan of hot dogs. 

You get the idea. 

And then, he asked a question I didn't want to answer and it all went to shit. 

"Enough of these boring topics, tell me why you didn't want to come with me tonight." 

I frowned, "You already know that. I hate you." 

He gave a subtle nod, "We've established that, tell me why you hate me." 

I didn't want to answer and I sighed, way to ruin it you stupid asshole. I sighed again, realizing that my glass was empty so I couldn't use the excuse of taking a sip to get more time. 

"Because you took away something precious to me," there, that was the truth. 

It was not very common knowledge that he had caused the attack on New York. The only reason Atticus and I knew, was because a year ago Atticus had decided to look into it. I didn't ask him how he found out, the less I knew the better and I really didn't want to know either. But the proof that he was responsible was an undeniable fact after Atticus showed me a video taken off of a surveillance camera, across the street from our old apartment. Just from that, it was clear he had led the attack. Atticus and I had held River as she died, pinned by a steel rod that had flown through the wall when it exploded. Half of our apartment was gone and it took a long time for anyone to realize we were trapped there, with no help. 

My answer didn't satisfy him, I could tell by the look on his face. Before he could press me more, I scowled and looked away from him for a moment. 

"Dare. I choose dare." 

His eyes lit up like he had been waiting for this opportunity and I cringed. The possibility of me taking a dare was probably the only reason he decided to play this stupid game. 

"Kiss me." 

I gaped at him. It took my brain a moment to catch up to the fact that he had actually said it and I gave him a look. 

"Fuck no." 

"Ah, but it's a dare, correct? As per the rules of this little game, you must do it," He smirked at me like he'd won some prize and my heart gave a weird kind of pound. 

Okay, calm down, he's got you rattled with this weird ass fucking dare. You can get out of it, just think. Think goddamnit! After a few horror filled seconds, I rattled off the first thing that came to me. 

"Nope, I'm not backing out. I said no mischievous dares, that includes kissing you. But I'm willing to kiss someone else." 

Okay, the reasoning wasn't sound at all. You could have cut through it with a piece of hair it was so thin, but I didn't care. He didn't by it for an instant and I felt myself panic more. Natasha didn't give me any advice on this kind of thing. Why the fuck on earth would he want me to kiss him!? 

"Oh no, darling, you're going to kiss me." 

"No, I'm not," I glared at him. 

"Then I'll kiss you," he smirked lazily at me, which pissed me off. 

"Either I kiss someone else or I'm smashing this empty glass in your face." 

The threat made him pause, allowing me to catch movement out of the corner of my eye. Steve was passing by, apparently leaving the party. He wasn't with anyone and I saw my only route to escape and my exit. Killing two birds with one stone. 

"Hey Steve, wait up!" I called out to him. Surprised, he stopped, giving Loki a suspicious look as I hastily stood. 

"Wait, what are you—" Loki called after me, but I didn't stop as I walked the few feet to Steve and gave him an apologetic smile. 

"Everything alright, Brynn?" He sounded concerned and I had a sudden pang of guilt as I made peace with what I was about to do. 

"I'll explain later," I whispered just loud enough to for him to hear, as I grabbed a hold of his leather jacket and pulled him down the few inches to my level. His eyes grew wide in surprise as I closed mine and kissed him. 

"Mmph!" 

A surprised sound left him as our lips met. His were soft and the faint smell of the beer he'd drank lingered there. It was over in a flash and despite my resolve, my cheeks flushed. It had been an incredibly long period of time since I'd kissed anyone. I forced myself to act like what I had done was completely normal and I wasn't rattled by it in the slightest. 

Letting him go, he righted himself immediately, his face just as red as mine. I gave Loki a raised brow, which he met with an irritated look. I smirked then and patted Steve on his broad chest, feeling the tight muscle under his shirt. Holy mother of god, I didn't think it was possible to blush Amy harder, but it was. 

"Thanks, Steve, good night," I said cheerily before high tailing it the fuck out of there. 

It wasn't until I was all the way back to my apartment that I realized I could have just ended the game instead of kissing Steve. But because I hadn't thought of that earlier, I'd inadvertently made things awkward with him and from the looks of it, pissed off Loki. 

I didn't even know why he would be pissed off either and then I decided, I didn't care of he was. Maybe if he thought there was something between me and Steve, he'd leave me alone. 

I sighed, that wouldn't work. I was too honest of a person and my deception would be seen through in a second by not just Loki. I'd just made things a hell of a lot worse because I weaseled my way out of whatever the fuck he had been trying to do. 

See? Own worst enemy, every fucking time.


	13. The Ass, The Gown and an Almost Death

I'm not sure how it happened, but I wasn't in my apartment anymore. Hell, I wasn't even in my bed with my tank top and sleep shorts on. I was a lot shorter too, weaker. I could feel the difference in my body as it settled in my bones. Then I realized that I wasn't even me, as in Brynn. I was a man, or maybe a boy? It was confusing and I felt the need to try and touch my face.   
  
Instead, my hands ignored me and it wasn't until I turned a corner that I recognized where I was. The Bronx, but not the Bronx that I knew now. No, this was the Bronx you see in old pictures hanging up in museums from the forties.   
  
What the fuck?  
  
Someone was yelling and I stopped walking. Turning to see a handsome, young man dressed in a military uniform run up to me.  
  
"Hey Steve, I thought you were going to wait for me?"  
  
Steve?  
  
...Steve?  
  
Oh. No.  
  
Emotions overcame me then, loyalty, friendship and then this complex knowledge of this person in front of me.   
  
"Sorry Bucky, I just want to look at the new Army posters they put up," I felt my mouth give a timid smile as Bucky patted my shoulder with a hard, friendly pat.  
  
"Well, I guess I'll just have to go with you then," he gave me a teasing smirk and we started walking.   
  
I was envious of Bucky. I wanted to fight those fucking Nazi's and make our country safe again. I wanted to be there, right next to Bucky, fighting to protect what needed to be protected. But I couldn't, I wasn't strong or tall. I wasn't even good looking enough to ask a beautiful lady out on a date.   
  
We walked down the street a little farther, it was well past evening. Bucky talked about various things as we walked. I wasn't in a talking mood though. My mind on too many things. A lot of people were still out and I tried to focus on the sights and smells of the scene before me. This was home, as overcrowded as it was, it was home. I caught my reflection in a storefront window and time stopped.  
  
I was Steve, or maybe Steve was me. I knew this, but somehow he was unaware of my presence. He didn't look like how I knew him either. He was smaller, weaker looking and while I recognized his handsome features, it was like looking at an incomplete picture. My vision wavered, rippling from the reflection of our eyes in that window and just like that, I woke up.

* * *

I was covered in sweat. I hurt in places that I didn't even know could and I stumbled to the bedside trash can. I barely made it before I lost what was in my stomach and when that was empty, I dry heaved for what felt like an eternity.   
  
What the fuck had I just seen? I couldn't explain it, even if I didn't feel like I was going to die holding my trash can, there were no words to describe it. It was too real to be a dream.   
  
Oh fuck, my chest hurt. It felt like my breastplate cracked and someone was trying to open me up. I moaned painfully as I collapsed on the floor, clutching my chest when JARVIS's voice sounded in my room.  
  
"I've already alerted Mr. Stark and Doctor Banner about your condition. Your heart rate is well over one sixty. Temperature is 100.8 and rising—"  
  
I was barely able to register what he was saying but there was one thing I knew above everything else. Atticus could absolutely not find me like this. Gasping, I managed to get enough breath to wheeze out his name.  
  
"A...Att...i...cus...."  
  
"He has not come back from his date yet. I have alerted security to advise him of a status update when he arrives, as well as placing a call to him directly. He has not answered his phone, but I have left a message on his voice mail. I have also taken the liberty of calling Randall's mother."  
  
I heard the front door open and several people rushing back to my bedroom. It was too dark and my vision was dancing with white dots. Someone touched my shoulder and my body jerked away from them. The touch was too much.  
  
"Brynn, Brynn can you hear me?"   
  
I groaned in response, that was Banner. I would have recognized his voice anywhere. I squeezed my eyes shut the second a flashlight was shined in my eyes. Delicate fingers forced them open and I couldn't stop myself from thrashing to get away from it. It hurt, making my eyes feel like they'd been dipped in acid and I half moaned, half yelled from it.  
  
"Shit, her pupils are blown out," Natasha cursed as I felt her hands try and hold my head still. It was no use. I trashed, my body convulsing and twisting.   
  
"We need to move her, JARVIS how, how much time?" Tony barked out as he and Banner tried to pick me up. My legs and arms smacked into them and I felt my lungs begin to seize. Oh, fucking fuck! I was going to die if this continued on any longer.  
  
"Less than a minute until full cardiac arrest, Sir."   
  
What!? Oh, no, no, no! I was not going to die like this damn it. I was not going to leave Atticus alone. I didn't care what JARVIS said, I was not going to die here. I just wasn't going to do that. Period.  
  
The sound of more footsteps was a precursor as more people burst into the room. Something inside my chest shifted and a sharp pain raked through my spine. I could feel it move, twist, burrow, and jab into every nerve.  
  
"Ow! Shit!" Natasha yelled and I felt all the hands that had been trying to hold me jerk away. I felt too hot. Or maybe too cold. I couldn't describe it and my vision was nothing but a complete whiteout.   
  
Everyone was talking at once and I felt tears sting my eyes and run down my face. This was bad. If I couldn't hold on long enough for them to figure out what was wrong with me, I would die and Atticus would be all alone...  
  
I have no idea why, but I could feel something just on the edge of my awareness. A beacon calling out to me. It was a person, I could tell that much. But for the fucking life of me, I couldn't tell who it was. They were conflicted, worried...alone. So very alone and under all that, at the very center, they were strong. The emotions were simple and straight forward, but the person had amazing strength. Their very life force behind that begged for me to take it. It whispered along my senses and I swear to god it was almost orgasmic.  
  
I felt my heart stop, but that didn't really matter anymore. I'd moved past the point of pain and I'd found what I was looking for. Me, or whatever was happening to me, found what it wanted. If I was going to survive this, I needed what they had by the fucking truck full, by the gallons.  I needed it worse than a crack addict in an isolation chamber with my precious drug somewhere on the other side of that door.   
  
"N...nn..eeee....d..." My voice didn't even sound like me and I reached out with my hand, fingertips snaking around their ankle. The moment I touched their skin a male voice screamed in agony and I could finally breathe again. I gasped as if coming out of a deep pool that I had been drowning in. I felt my heart give a hard pound and even when the man collapsed I didn't let go.  
  
Just a little more and then I swore I'd let go of him. This feeling, this sip of water in the middle of the Sahara desert was my lifeline. I'd feel guilty later, I knew I would. But in that moment, I had no control over myself and I couldn't stop.   
  
The screaming man collapsed in the few seconds I had a hold of him. Just as my vision finally cleared I saw the bottom part of a barefoot headed right for my face.

* * *

Well, you can guess what happened.  
  
I will say though, out of all the cosmic shit that I could have gotten from crawling through all that glass covered goo, I would have rather had my super power be blinking really fast or something equally stupid.   
  
But of course, my life shifts from one mistake to catastrophe without caring what I think. Looking back on it now, maybe things wouldn't have gotten so out of control if I just would have stopped being stubborn and kissed that stupid demigod. God knows it would have made things simpler, more straight forward and probably more honest.   
  
Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself again.

* * *

My eyes snapped open and I sat up, panting like I had a bad dream from watching too many zombie movies. I wasn't in my room anymore but in a thick, glass box about the same size. I didn't even recognize the floor I was on either. It was a lab of some kind, but hell if I recognized any of the machinery. A heart monitor was being away steadily from leads hooked up to my chest. Just to top it off, I was in one of those stupid hospital gowns that didn't cover your ass no matter much you yanked on it.  
  
"What the fuck...?"  
  
Okay, something bad had happened apparently. I tried wracking my brain to remember, but there was a giant gap in my memory. Just when I was about to start having a panic attack, Natasha and Atticus came around the corner. As soon as I saw them I pull off the leads and rushed over to the glass.  
  
"Mom!" Atticus's face brightened and I could tell that he'd been crying. Tears welled up in his eyes as he saw me and I couldn't stop mine from doing the same.  
  
"Hey sweetie," I choked out the words as Natasha grinned, quickly coming over to see me.  
  
"Oh my god, you have no idea how glad I am to see you awake and moving around," Natasha looked like the last few days had been hell, but she still had that flawless look that said she could kick someone's ass. One of these days I was going to ask her her secret.  
  
"You scared the shit out of me. If you make me an orphan I'm going to bring you back to life and kick your ass," Atticus ranted. There were big huge bags under his green eyes, his hair so wild that no amount of combing it was going to tame it. I wanted to give him a hug so bad that it made my body ache.  
  
"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere," I assured Atticus before looking at Natasha, "I missed you guys too. Let me out of here so I can get a hug."  
  
Atticus and Natasha exchanged a look and I frowned.  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
Atticus looked like he really was gonna cry now and I softened, "Hey, hey, it's okay. Tell me what's going on?"  
  
Natasha spoke up, "We can't let you out yet."  
  
"Okay, I kind of got that from the look you just gave each other. Can you tell me why?"  
  
"Well, you kind of put Steve in a coma for a week," Atticus cringed and I gaped at him.   
  
"I did what? How long have I been in here?"  
  
There was a long silence before Natasha jumped in and explained that JARVIS had alerted Tony and Banner that something was going on with me after the party had ended. My body temperature had fluctuated between hot and cold so fast that my heart rate had spiked dangerously. I had some kind of seizure and just when things were getting bad, I had reached for Steve. Natasha said that the contact had only been a few seconds, but he collapsed almost immediately after I started breathing again. Loki kicked me in the face to get me to let go of him.  
  
Yeah, wasn't too sure how I felt about Loki kicking me in the face.  
  
According to the analysis that JARVIS ran on the video recording in my room, I'd flatlined. No one really knew why I had a sudden reaction like that or why Steve ended up in a coma for a week either. He also woke up with no memory of what happened to him, saying that the last thing he remembered was going to bed. The testing concluded that we were both okay, however, the structure of my blood had changed. They were still trying to figure out what that meant. Until they did, I was stuck in my glass room.  
  
The kicker in all this? I'd been out for two full weeks. That's one week longer than Steve and twice more than I wanted to be without consciousness.   
  
"Well," I said, taking a deep breath, "that's a lot to take in."  
  
"That's what he said," Atticus chimed in and Natasha and I laughed, resting my head up against the glass. His humor told me that he was okay and that he was glad I was okay.   
  
"Okay, since I'm stuck in here, can one of you bring me a change of clothes? I don't want to be walking around with my ass hanging out."  
  
Atticus gave me a teasing smile and Natasha laughed. I said goodbye to them with a promise from Atticus that he'd be back with clothes for me and Natasha would go grab Banner from another lab. He'd want to check me over now that I was awake.   
  
Once I was by myself, I closed my eyes and tried to let it sink in. Just what the hell had happened to me? Now that I'd heard what happened, I began getting a vague sense of memory. Little snippets of things, but of course before I could really start to focus on it a smooth voice tickled against my ear.  
  
"I must say, it is crude how they gave you only a small piece of cloth that doesn't cover your backside, though I admit the view is nice."  
  
"Holy fucking shit!" I jumped, startled with my heart somewhere in the ceiling as I whipped around to see Loki grinning at me. He was dressed like he was reading for a board meeting again and I glared at him.   
  
"How the fuck did you get in here?" I quickly tried to pull the gown closed behind me, but it was no use. Did I mention that I had no underwear on?   
  
Yeah, turns out, that was the least of my problems.


	14. DNA 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your comments! Keep them coming, I really enjoy hearing from you. Thank you also for bookmarking, subscribing and leaving Kudos. 
> 
> This chapter is a little longer, mostly because Banner and Tony are long winded. 😆
> 
> And yes, I realize there’s some similarities between her and Vision. But this is before that, their experiment was like in the early beta stages. Because I suspect that their first plan to protect earth would be to have earth defend itself.

Loki grinned wickedly as he pressed closer, making me step back from him. I glared at him, one hand trying desperately to keep the back of my gown closed while my other clenched. I had no idea how the hell he got in here as from what I'd seen there wasn't a door. Obviously, there must have been one, but the 'how' didn't really matter now that he was in here with me.  as I glared at him.  
  
"What you doing here?" I demanded.  
  
He took another step forward and I took another back until my back was pressed up against the glass wall on the far side of my glass room. God, I was sick of glass. Seemed like every time something bad happened anymore it had to do with glass. With every step back, I felt like I was figuratively losing ground, not just physically.  
  
"I said," I ground out, pissed off that I was being cornered, "what are you doing here?"  
  
Loki's grin shifted to a mocking smile, eyeing my gown and my bare legs.   
  
"Just seeing how you are, darling. I see that you have recovered from your little jaunt down memory lane. How unfortunate that our dear Captain had to take one for the team, as it were, just for you."  
  
I stared at him. Memory lane? My heart gave a hard thump when he leaned close enough to kiss me and my eyes grew wide. I hated this man with my entire being, but apparently, it didn't matter. Trying desperately to get some of the ground back that I'd lost, I went to shove him with my free hand. It went right through him, a greenish white light dancing around my arm that had gone through his chest.   
  
"Wha...?" I gaped at my arm. Looking up at him, I could have slapped myself. His eyes were amused and all too fucking pleased with my surprised expression.   
  
"Did you think I was really here? You are as gullible as you are cute," he purred at me and I made a disgusted sound as I yanked my arm back. The light had disappeared and I huffed at him as he finally straightened to give me some room to breathe.   
  
"So this is an illusion, great. You showed off your awesome mighty power. Congratulations, now leave me alone."  
  
"Oh, I can't do that. You cheated at our game, so I don't have to leave you alone."  
  
"You kicked me in the face," I shot back as nastily as I could.  
  
"You kicked me in the groin. I was just returning the favor," He smirked, his voice teasing.   
  
"Fine, that one is squashed, but you fucking deserved it and so what if I cheated a little? There is no way that I would _ever_ kiss you," I spat at him and since it was just an illusion of him being in this room with me, I walked through him. I expected to feel some kind of weird tingling, but there was nothing. Once I was through him, I sat down on the bed and pulled the blanket that had covered me before back around me. He turned to watch me, shrugging his shoulders as if my words didn't matter. What an asshole.  
  
"You can say what you like, but you'll be begging me to do more than that soon enough."  
  
I gave him a bored look or at least tried too. He had me rattled, my heart was pounding away and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to stop my face from turning red. What the hell was with this guy? Any normal man would have gotten the hint and moved on, given up and pursued other women without a second thought.  
  
An idea popped into my head and I gave him a lazy smile.  
  
"You're jealous," I said with confidence. The moment the word left my mouth I knew it was true. It was like all his pestering, being an ass and making comments about either kissing me or sex were just to get me to pay attention to him. He was jealous because I'd avoided him like the walking plague. His eyes seemed to shift again, but for the life of me, I wasn't able to really say how. It was too quick for me to follow, but I knew I had gotten to him.  
  
"You are, admit it. You're fucking jealous like a child left out of playing games in the schoolyard."   
  
He rolled his eyes, looking indignant, "Don't flatter yourself, darling. Why would I be jealous of you?"   
  
"I never said you were jealous of me," I smirked, "You're jealous because I was ignoring you and getting to know the others right? You don't really want to kiss me and you don't really care if I get to know you. You don't like being left out and you don't like the fact that I pay attention to everyone else. And while you don't really care about kissing me, it still really pissed you off when I kissed Steve."  
  
Loki approached me and I realized too late that choosing to sit down and cover my legs was a big mistake. Illusion or no, he was pretty intimidating with his height alone. He bent down, forcing me to lean back until I had to use my arms to keep me from laying flat on the bed. His arms trapped me on either side of my hips and I scowled.   
  
What the fuck was with this position!?  
  
"Don't think that you are so important that I would be jealous over a trifle thing like that.”  
  
His face was dead serious and while I was a fucked up ball of nerves and anxiety, I noticed something in what he said.  
  
“I don’t think I’m important, but you didn’t deny that my ignoring you was getting to you,” I smiled ruefully at him.   
  
My victory was short-lived because he smirked and leaned forward the last few inches to whisper in my ear.  
  
“And I never said I wasn’t pissed off about you kissing someone else," his voice sent a shiver down my spine and I purposefully sat up, making it so we weren't face to face anymore, but so I was sitting in the middle of his bent-over torso. His illusion shifted around me in that thin greenish light while I tried to get my heart rate under control.  
  
"Mom?"   
  
Atticus's voice snapped my head around to see him standing there with a small pile of clothes. Before I could react, Loki's illusion disappeared and we were both stunned.  
  
"Mom, was that Loki?" He sounded irritated and I forced a laugh. Standing, I wrapped the blanket around me like a robe as I walked over to where he was on the other side of the glass.  
  
"Yeah, he's been trying to get me to pay attention to him," I sighed and shook my head. Now that he was gone, I felt my anxiety calm down tremendously.  
  
Atticus furrowed his brow, deep in thought before they rose up high on his forehead. Confused, I tilted my head.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think maybe he likes you," Atticus sounded sure of it and I couldn't stop my laughter.  
  
"Atticus, hunny, believe me when I say he doesn't. He's like a little kid trying to get someone to pay attention to him. Besides, even if he did like me, God forbid, it wouldn't change anything. He's responsible for River."   
  
Atticus nodded, still deep in thought and his face a little too hostile. Before I could reassure him more, Banner appeared from somewhere and approached.  
  
"Brynn," he said in greeting and I smiled.  
  
"Hey Banner, how's it hanging?"   
  
He gave me a small smile and I noticed for the first time that his button-up shirt wasn't wrinkled and his hair was combed. I almost asked him if Natasha had something to do with it, but I held back. There was other shit to deal with, but you can bet your ass after I figured out what was happening to me I was gonna pester Natasha until she spilled the details.  
  
"I need to run some tests on you and then we'll get everyone together," he pressed his thumb to the glass and a loud click followed. A pane of glass just big enough to fit through opened and Atticus handed my clothes to Banner.  
  
"Can I stay Dr. Banner?" Atticus gave him cute puppy eyes and it was clear that Banner was caught, hook, line and sinker.   
  
"Sure, just stay out here," He nodded and entered. The pane of glass shifted back into place and I had to wonder how he even knew where to put his thumb to open it. I gave Atticus a shake of my head as I shot him a look. The brat simply grinned at me. He would have everyone eating out of his hand if he kept it up. I gave him another look and he gave me a wide-eyed innocent face.   
  
Kids, I swear. They are more dangerous than adults sometimes.  
  
Banner handed me the pile of clothes as he walked to the bed. He pulled out what looked to be a glass tablet and the moment he touched it a bunch of data appeared on the screen. I looked at the pile of clothes in my hands and then to Banner. Atticus stifled a laugh and Banner didn't even notice. Apparently, he didn't realize my situation as he started talking.  
  
"I want to get another blood sample and get another bio-scan. Also, I want to go over what happened with you and Steve. Natasha said you don't remember what happened?" Banner finally looked at me and I stared at him.  
  
"What?" He finally asked and I chuckled.  
  
"Well, I need to change so," I motioned to the glass walls and Atticus had to cover his mouth, trying not to laugh.   
  
Banner seemed to realize what I was talking about and his cheeks turned a little pink.  
  
"Oh, I... Uh... Right."   
  
It was really hard not to laugh as he briskly walked back the way he came and left. Atticus grinned at me after he had gone.  
  
"You know, you're never going to find a guy if you keeping embarrassing them and making them run away," he teased.  
  
I smiled and shrugged, "You're the only man in my life. Now go on so I can change. And no more using your cuteness as a weapon."   
  
I gave Atticus a narrowed eyed look and he smirked.  
  
"Well, then they need to stop leaving me out of things. I hate being treated like a kid."  
  
"How are they leaving you out of things? You know more than I do about what's going on. I was out for two weeks. Being manipulative isn't good, sweetie. Just tone it down a bit, okay?"  
  
Atticus huffed and rolled his eyes, "Fine."  
  
"Good, now get out of here."  
  
Atticus stuck his tongue out at me as he sauntered away. He was way too smart for his own good. If I wasn't careful he might start rebelling and then I'd really be in deep shit.

* * *

Now for those of you that don't have kids, allow me to give you a little insight on being a parent.  
  
From the very first moment of holding them, you have this overwhelming feeling of joy. And then all that joy turns into fear. You worry about them constantly. Are they safe? Are they getting enough to eat? Can you trust people to watch out for them? Did you back their favorite fucking toy? Because the tantrum that follows is so fucking scary you'd rather chew your arm off.  
  
As they grow up, those fears change and suddenly you're scared that someone will kidnap them. Or they're going to do drugs and OD at a party. Or they're going to make that fatal mistake of getting in a car with a friend who's 'not that drunk'. Or turn into a supervillain.  
  
It's a very fine line to guide them and not push them. It's hard not to get frustrated and I've lost so many nights of sleep wondering if I'm a good parent or not. Sometimes, it's really hard just trying to get through an argument without sounding like a dictator.   
  
But at the end of the day, they're your kids. Supervillain or not. Or in my case, genius smart ass with a boyfriend and a lot of repressed anger mixed with fear. I loved him, but I worried about him too.

* * *

"So... What you're saying is, I'm dying?"   
  
I mean, that was what he was saying. In a lot of techno mumbo jumbo. All things considered, I was taking it pretty well.  
  
"It's not that you're dying," Banner pointed out, "It's that your body is trying to stabilize and it has no way to do so. Your DNA has changed in structure and is continuing to shift as we speak."  
  
The room was quiet and it was clear on everyone's faces that they didn't know what to say. Atticus was sitting down in a chair, his black hair covering his eyes as Natasha rubbed his back soothingly. Steve, Clint, and Thor looked sad, if not awkward and Loki had his stupid thinking face on again. Tony crossed his arms, his serious eyes on me as I tried to process this information.  
  
"Alright, I don't really get how that doesn't equal dying."  
  
"Okay firecracker, let me explain," Tony spoke up and tapped a small area on the glass wall of my room. A DNA strain appeared and then another next to it, which looked like someone had taken a DNA strain through the blender a few time and then tried to fix it.  
  
"This is your DNA your first day here," he tapped the glass of the normal looking one, "and this is your DNA strain after you and Steve slipped into a coma. This," he said tapping the glass again taking the two strains away and replacing it with one that had several DNA strains braided together, but were fraying. "This is your DNA that Banner took today."  
  
"Basically it's rewriting itself so fast that your body isn't going to be able to keep up. We need to find something to stabilize you, but because of what was in those Petrie dishes, it could be any number of things."  
  
"What was in those Petrie dishes, Mr. Stark?" Atticus was suddenly on his feet, anger was written all over his face and Banner put a hand on his shoulder to try and calm him. It didn't work but pissed him off more as he shoved him off of him and glared at Tony.  
  
Tony gave him a leveled look before answering, "Banner and I were trying out some experiments on some alien DNA that was donated to try and combine it with some bio engendering. We were attempting to make a partly organic security system."  
  
"Security system?" Steve's face grew serious as he looked at Tony, "What do you mean by 'security system'?"  
  
"Yeah, that sounds like a crap shoot," Clint said sarcastically.   
  
"It's more like an alert system, but on a global scale. The organic material would sense an outside threat and would be able to alert us as well as effectively protect the planet and everyone on it," Banner explained, his voice sounded a little guilty as he continued,  "But the resulting compounds could work together, they kept attacking each other, trying to take over. As a result, we could never get a viable sample to test."  
  
"As most of you know, those samples were destroyed when the building was attacked by our favorite Nazi loving bad guys," Tony glanced at Steve, who looked downright pissed.  
  
"You never told us that's what they were after, Stark."  
  
"Well at the time it didn't matter. The whole thing was a failure and we were going to scrap it anyway. There was no reason for us to know someone was going to be crawling through it or that they'd be affected by it."  
  
An argument broke out between them all and I continued to sit on the edge of the bed, my focus on Atticus. I could see the moment he lost his faith in Banner and Tony and it hurt. They had been his brainy friends. Yes, they treated him like a kid sometimes, but they meant well. I didn't know if Atticus would be able to forgive them and that was pretty sad. Tony was his hero and Banner was like a long lost awkward uncle. Goddamnit.  
  
The arguing continued and I noticed that Loki was looking at me. A subtle smile slipped over his lips and I frowned. He knew something, I could tell. But there were a few things that were bothering me and I didn't want to focus on him.  
  
"Hey," I said with no luck in stopping the argument.  
  
"Hey, assholes!" I yelled and everyone looked at me, finally quiet.  
  
I smiled sweetly, "Hi, remember me? Yeah? Great."  
  
I hopped off the bed and approached the glass, "Look, the damage is done. It doesn't matter what you were trying to do or for what reasons. We need to move on and focus here because I'm not going to die. I actually feel pretty good right now."  
  
Tony and Banner exchanged glances and I waved my hand, "I don't want to know how long until I'm going to start feeling like shit. Can you explain why I touched Steve and we went into a coma?"  
  
"We think that's because of the alien DNA. The sample we took was from an individual who has the ability to relive memories of others. The effects vary from its use, one of them being premonition. But we had no idea what the repercussions would be.   
  
I think you inadvertently relived one of Steve's memories and when you came out from that your body thought it was still him. It was trying to match his DNA, when it couldn't your body started to shut down almost immediately. That's why he collapsed when you touched him. You completed the circuit by touching the source by forcing it so suddenly. But you would of had to of exchanged DNA with him at some point before that." Banner explained.   
  
I frowned as I thought about what that meant and then my eyes found Steve. His face looked a little red and I let out a weird noise of surprise.   
  
"Well, I kissed Steve that night, so..."   
  
Atticus looked startled and a sea of eyes were looking at me in surprise. Except for Loki and Steve of course. I blushed and shrugged, trying to play it off.  
  
"The Captain and Brynn?" Thor grinned as he smacked Steve on the back a few times, "Good going, you lucky man!"   
  
Steve groaned and rubbed his hand over his face.  
  
"Uh," Banner said in surprise, "That would do it."  
  
"Lucky?" I mumbled, "Wait! Bucky! Steve, he was your best friend right? Since you were kids. He was in the army and you were sad because you didn't qualify to go right? You were smaller, weaker then and you wanted to fight."  
  
Steve looked alarmed, "How did you—?"   
  
"I saw him. I was in your head or something. You were walking to look at the newest army poster. You were walking in the Bronx."  
  
Steve gave a confused look and then surprise, "Yeah, that was just before..."   
  
He trailed off and I smiled, "It's okay," I said gently. I could tell that it was part of the reason he looked the way he did now.   
  
"Wait, you said my DNA keeps changing and the sample you took was from someone who can relive people's memories. Who did you take a sample from?"   
  
The second I asked the question, I wished I would have just kept my damn mouth shut.  
  
Banner and Tony looked at Loki, who was dusting off the invisible dust on the front of his shirt. He looked up, faking surprise as everyone else looked at him and I felt my heart sink somewhere down into my feet.  
  
"You gotta be fucking kidding me," I whispered  
  
"I told you, darling. You were going to beg me to touch you."  
  
Son. Of. A. Bitch.


	15. You'll Never Know How Much I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, fair warning here, this involves child death. So if this is too hard for you (believe me, I wrote it and I cried during that), then you may want to skip the very last part of this chapter.
> 
> I promise we'll get back to more funny, heart felt moments I just need to get this over with. I've been putting it off. >_<

You know, I really envy those people that just have good things happen to them just because. You know the ones I'm talking about. Where they win the lottery after buying their first ticket ever. Or those people that get promoted fast just because they smiled at the right person. Don't get me wrong, I don't think they didn't deserve it. But fuck, I really do envy those people. Because while I have tried to make up for my one mistake in high school, by doing everything myself. Not depending on anyone and trying not to be an inconvenience. I always end up getting fucked over.  
  
Honestly, I really think the world has it out for me. Like I've got this big target on my face that says, 'yeah, her! Get her!'. It's annoying, really.  
  
Okay, so I'm whining a bit here, but can you blame me!? I mean, what did I do in a past life for my survival to depend on the most murderous, undependable ass in the universe?

* * *

After our meeting about my impending doom and my fate resting in the hands of the one person I'd like to strangle, Banner and Tony came up with a plan. A truly fucked up, unrealistic plan that had Atticus and I staring at Banner, Loki, and Tony with matching looks.  
  
"I'd rather die," I said.  
  
"I think I might agree," Atticus said, in the same monotone voice.  
  
Everyone else had left, but not before Natasha gave me a look as she pointed at Steve and winked. Thor and Clint were giving him a hard time about the kiss and Steve, bless his cute soul, looked embarrassed all over. I crossed my heart to Natasha, letting her know I'd tell her everything later. I have to admit, it felt good to have a girlfriend I could talk to.  
  
"You'd rather die than let him touch you?" Banner's eyebrows rose in surprise as Tony cast a glance at Loki. Who, by the way, had gone back to looking bored by this whole situation.  
  
"You're asking me to cuddle with him," I pointed out and Atticus, who had taken the liberty of glaring at Loki nodded.  
  
"Seriously, out of all the medical technology in the world, this is your solution?" Atticus turned his glare to Banner, who not knowing why we were so against this, looked more confused.  
  
I wasn't exactly hiding why I hated Loki so much, but I wasn't going around telling everyone our story either. Sure it would have explained a few things, but honestly, no one could bring River back. Neither Atticus or I wanted to be pitied because of our loss. Call it stubbornness or emotional detachment, but we just couldn't move on if people felt sorry for us. It was a habit that had continued on after we had moved.  
  
"I mean, I could come up with something like a transfusion, but I don't think that's going to work. You need something physical that you can latch onto so your body can stabilize and adjust to slowly. Loki is our best option for that. He also knows the possible power fluxes that you'll have to deal with and can help you control it."  
  
Banner was trying his hardest to sell me on this, and I still wasn't buying it. Even though I'd noticed throughout the time that I'd been awake, I'd gone from feel pretty good to feeling nauseous. I was starting to feel cold and my hands were trembling. I was ignoring it for the most part, but it was probably only going to get worse.  
  
"You're running out of time, firecracker. Look, either you cuddle with this walking frost prick, or I'm going to pay for your son to go to the best college of his choosing and give you a million dollars."  
  
Banner blinked, staring at Tony with sheer horror clearly remembering the last time Tony tried to offer me a handout. Loki finally looked like he was interested in what was happening, giving me an interesting look. Atticus's eyes went wide and I glared at Tony. He knew how I felt about fucking handouts. Though, I'll admit his offer was enticing.  
  
"You know how I feel about handouts, Tony."  
  
Tony smirked and leaned against the glass with a rueful smile on his face.  
  
"I'll do it right now Brynn, don't test me."  
  
I would have fought more, but damn if I didn't sway a little from feeling light-headed. My hands, which I had been sitting on to hide their trembling, shot out to grip the bed so I didn't fall. Atticus looked at me, worry taking over the frustration in his green eyes before letting out a sigh. I could tell when he decided to throw in the towel because I did too. Letting my head hang down, I took some deep breaths to try and get the spinning to stop.  
  
"Okay, I'll do it," I muttered.  
  
"Good girl," Tony tapped on the glass.  
  
"Uh, okay," Banner said as he opened the glass door. I heard footsteps approach and Banner started to speak.  
  
"Loki, you'll have to get as much skin contact as possible. We'll be monitoring her vitals from out here."  
  
"I'm aware," Loki answered with a bored sigh.  
  
"You gotta be fucking kidding me," I groaned, as Loki's shoes came into view. The dizziness was getting worse, but I looked up at him anyway. I expected to see a smirk or some kind of look that said, 'I won' but instead, there was nothing. His face was carefully blank as he casually unbuttoned his shirt and started to take it off.  
  
Smooth, pale skin and hard lean muscle came into view and I swallowed. He didn't have the muscle mass that Steve had, but the lean muscle of someone who was agile. The view was mouthwatering and I would have starred longer, lingering on his abdomen if I wasn't feeling so shitty. It had been a very long time since I'd seen a half-naked man. This was bad. So, so bad on so many fucking levels. When he went for his belt, I reached out and knocked his hand away.  
  
"Fuck no, keep your pants on."  
  
"As you like," he smirked then, clearly amused by either my bashfulness or trying to ensure my integrity.  
  
Something was wrong with my arm and hand and it took a moment to realize that there were dark marks running down them. Somewhere in the back of my brain, I knew this was a bad sign and I jumped when Loki put his hand on my arm.  
  
"Don't look," his voice was gentler than I expected and I looked up at him. His face was a weird mix of concern and seriousness. I had no idea he could look like that. Hell, I didn't even know he had the capacity to have those types of emotions.  
  
"Mom, your veins..."  
  
I heard Atticus's pained voice, but it sounded far away. I wanted to see where the black streaks were coming from, but Loki went for my shirt and I started to struggle. If you could call it that anyway. It lasted for two seconds before I gave up and let him pull it off me. I felt too tired and the trembling was turning into shaking all over my body. Fuck I felt cold.  
  
Loki managed to get my shirt off me with one smooth pull, leaving me in my bra and I briefly saw where the blackness in my veins was coming from. The spot that I had thought was a bruise on my chest, was much bigger than when I had changed earlier. It was solid black now and it seemed to get bigger as I stared at it.  
  
I would have panicked, but Loki laid me down on the bed and slid in next to me. I didn't fight him as his arms wrapped around me. Pulling the blanket up, he made sure we were covered from our shoulders down. It was a kind of sweet gesture when I thought about it. The second he settled and stopped moving, my head on his upper shoulder, I started to feel a tiny bit better.  
  
"You better not hurt my mother, Loki." Atticus's voice was dangerous, dropping a little lower than his normal tone. I tried to look at him or open my mouth to say I was okay, but I didn't have the ability. Instead, Loki held me tighter and his voice rumbled in his chest as he spoke.  
  
"I wouldn't dream of it."  
  
I distantly heard the shuffling of footsteps and some distant voices, but I couldn't tell who was speaking anymore. The world seemed too distant and I felt like I wasn't really apart of it anymore. My shaking was still pretty bad, but Loki held me firmly so I didn't feel like I was going to fall off the bed. I will say for a hospital bed, it was pretty roomy, even with the two of us in it.  
  
I still couldn't get my head around the fact that this was happening to me. Especially the fact that my life was in this jerk's hands. But...  
  
He was warm. Strong. I could feel the strength of his muscles in his chest and arms and I made me feel weird. I felt safe, embarrassed and shy. It would have been overwhelming, but I didn't have the energy to make a fuss. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his torso and pressed myself against him. Banner was right, the more skin contact I had, the better I felt.  
  
"So you can be calm and docile," he murmured softly. I felt the gentle brush if his fingers along my face as he tucked a loose strain of hair behind my ear.  
  
I groaned softly, "I hate...you."  
  
He chuckled, the sound humming along my skin and vibrating in my head. It was a good sound and I found that I kind of liked it.  
  
"Yes, I know. Though really, with the position you are in, it doesn't look like you hate me."  
  
"I should...kick you...again," I managed to get out. It was taking a lot of energy to talk and I felt my eyes slowly close. I had to force them to stay open, trying to focus on the curve of his collar bone instead. Ugh, maybe that wasn't such a good idea.  
  
"If you kick me, I'll kiss you."  
  
His voice was teasing, and while our normal back and forth wasn't as heated, I actually found some comfort in it. The shakes were starting to slow down and I could feel my body start to relax against him.  
  
Fuck, I must be crushing him. I wasn't a skinny girl by any means. Who knew how long we would have to stay like this. My brain must have been playing tricks on me. Why the hell should I care about anything that had to do with this person?  
  
"S...sorry," I muttered. Loki stilled for a second before he let out a soft breath. I could tell he wasn't sure why I was apologizing. Fuck, I wasn't even sure why I was either.  
  
"You should sleep."  
  
"I.....don't...want...to." My voice was drifting and I could feel my consciousness pulling away, "Why...are...you...?"  
  
I was going to ask him why he was being so nice right then. What motive he had and why he was determined to keep me focused on him. But I fell asleep before I could ask, my eyelids drooping shut like they were agreeing with his idea of sleep. When I woke up I was going to kick him. He had known what was happening to me and he'd been fucking with me for all those weeks because of it.  
  
For right now, just for this short amount of time, I was going to pretend that I wasn't cuddling with him. Instead, I let myself pretend that I was cuddling with my husband. Someone who was strong, honest, caring and a good father. Someone who loved me for me and didn't see me as a doormat. Just this once, I lied to myself. 

* * *

"Mom! Mom!" River bounded into the kitchen, Atticus hot on her trail. Her long black hair was tied up in a cute ponytail, exposing her green eyes. Her bright happy face looked so alive and cheerful, I ended up staring at her. This seemed...off somehow. I couldn't really put my finger on it, but it didn't matter. I pushed the thought away and smiled at her.  
  
"What sweetie?"  
  
"Can we please watch a movie?" She clasped her hands in front of her chest and Atticus nodded in agreement.  
  
"Yeah, mom can we watch Transformers?"  
  
"Hey, I wanted to watch Marley and Me!" River frowned at Atticus, who scoffed.  
  
"Heck no. We've watched that like a dozen times. I want Transformers."  
  
"Mooom!" River whined and I chuckled, turning back to stir the noodles that were boiling. It was spaghetti and meatball night, the kids were in charge of picking the movie while I cooked. The smell of fresh tomato sauce and baking meatballs was already heavy in the air and I felt my heart give a sudden ache.  
  
What is with me today? Why do I feel so off? Shaking my head I turned back around to them, both of them starting to argue.  
  
"It's about a dog! How could you hate a movie about a dog?"  
  
"It's about a dog that eats everything, gets old and dies. Who would want to watch that? Transformers has robots that turn into cars. It's like the perfect combination of biotechnology and action," Atticus argued back, his face scowling. His hair was shorter, combed and he was wearing a bright yellow shirt, instead of black.  
  
Again I had a feeling of unease tug at me as I looked at him. It took me a minute to realize he was talking to me.  
  
"Mom, can you please tell her it's my turn to pick? I can't watch another second of that stupid movie and she picked it last week!"  
  
"So!?" River shot back and I put my hands up.  
  
Something was really wrong with this, the more I looked at River I knew what was wrong. It was like that missing part of my heart finally appeared in front of me and before I knew what I was doing, I reached out and hugged River. She was solid, warm and alive. I never thought I'd be able to see her face so close again and I kissed her face and head, hugging her harder.  
  
"Mom, you're...squishing...me," she wheezed out and I felt tears stream down my face. I couldn't let her go, my arms were locked around her and I sobbed.  
  
"Oh, baby girl, I'm so sorry," I tried not to cry, but I just couldn't stop myself. She still smelled like that bubblegum bath body wash that she liked so much.  
  
"Uh, Mom?" River patted me on the back, concerned. Atticus came up and I couldn't help but wrap him up too. I had both my kids back, in my arms like nothing bad had happened. We stayed like that, me hugging them and crying as they told me everything was okay and that they'd ever fight again.  
  
"I am so sorry. I love you both so much and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to keep you safe."  
  
All the words that I had wanted to say came spilling out of me. I loved them both so much, but I missed River and I knew Atticus did too. Even though we had tried to move on and five years had passed, the pain felt too real, too raw. My grief that I'd put a lid on for all those years came out and just when I was starting to get a grip on myself, the world shattered.

* * *

"M-mom...?" River's voice was weak and I blinked at the sudden horror before me.  
  
"It's...It's okay sweetie, mommy is here. It's going to be okay," My voice was that calm one that all parents get when things are really not okay and will probably never be okay again. But you suck it up and keep your game face on because you're the adult.  
  
And you can't let your kids see how scared you are.  
  
River was pinned with a ten-foot-long steel rod against the wall of our living room. There was a gash on her head and she was a sickly white that made the splashes of red too vivid. I knew the rod had gone clean through her rib cage, running through her lung and piercing the side of her heart.  
  
She was already in shock, making her look like she wasn't worried at all. Atticus was huddled next to her, his eyes swollen and red from crying. He didn't have a scratch on him, just covered in dirt and muck. We were carefully huddled together on the only stip of our apartment that was left, which was the far side of our living room. The rest of our apartment was gone.  
  
There were a lot of explosions and a fire had started somewhere, the smoke stinging my eyes as I carefully maneuvered closer to them. River turned her attention to Atticus and gave him a soft smile.  
  
"Are you okay?" Her voice was gentle and I felt my eyes sting with tears.  
  
"Y-yeah," He sniffled, trying to act like he didn't know how serious her situation was. "I can't believe you pushed me..." His voice was quiet but we heard him anyway.  
  
River reached over and took his hand, entwining her fingers in his and gave them a squeeze.  
  
"Better me than you. You cry when your knee gets scraped," she teased, trying to get him to laugh. It had the opposite effect though and instead, Atticus carefully moved closer until he was hugging her. I wrapped my arms around both of them as Atticus started to cry again.  
  
Something out of an alien horror movie zipped by, flying on some kind of weird animal. It paid us no mind, but why would it? Our world was already destroyed.  
  
"Mom...can you...sing me a song?" River's voice was getting softer and I forced myself to not sob. I swallowed my grief and took a shaky breath.  
  
"You are my sunshine..." I started, Atticus's sobs had started to slow down a little.  
  
"My only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey..."  
  
Atticus started to sing with me, sobbing here and there. My voice cracked and I closed my eyes, hugging the two of them as hard as I could.  
  
"You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take...my sunshine away..."


	16. Behind The Scenes: Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you guys so much for all your wonderful comments! I'm so glad you all enjoyed the last chapter and as a reward for sticking with me as I get my grove back, here's a special chapter dedicated to you guys from Loki's pov!

The mission to clean out a Hydra underground facility was a success but I wasn't jovial like the others. My brother and I had fought alongside each other like we had when we were children and as always, he was too critical of me and my methods. Clint had made it a point to shoot arrows at enemies behind me, always just past my head, which grated on my nerves. He was probably still a bit sore over my previous mind control. Honestly, it had been five years since then. In human terms, this was relatively long.  
  
I hadn't exactly made peace with the fact that I was forced to cater to these humans, but I had to admit, they were a force to be reckoned with when they all worked together as one.  
  
Personally, I was just thankful that Banner hadn't come.  
  
The plane ride back to the Avengers Tower was in lack of a better word, boring. Clint spoke with my brother and reported to Stark about our victory. I sat in my seat with my eyes closed, attempting to find something to occupy my mind.  
  
My thoughts turned to the curvaceous brunette that had been injured during the attack at the tower. Her presence had thrown everyone off their game, as she was not where she was supposed to be, thus making her the only person within the area to suffer any injuries—other than the Black Widow, Natasha. This woman and she was a woman, curvy and thick in the legs, had for some unknown reason protected Natasha with her life.  
  
Why the woman had gone searching for her, was a mystery and a surprise to everyone.   
  
Her injuries, though many, were not that serious. Mostly cut up and covered in debris, slime, and glass. Her only big injury had been her thigh, but quick action had saved the precious limb. I had to admit, when I first saw her passed out cold in Banner's lab, I was curious about her.   
  
Human women, in my experience, are easy to play with and tend to not have the ability to keep up with an Asgardian in terms of the bedroom. How my brother saw anything in Jane Foster, was beyond me.  
  
Most women don't have enough substance to keep a man warm at night. But this woman had lips, plump and full. Breasts and thighs that could literally keep a man busy for years just because of their feel. Her eyes, from the few brief moments of consciousness, were a bright blue that reminded me of a lake I used to visit with my brother many years ago when we were children. Thick hair, dark brown and plain looking at first glance, had strands of red and gold.   
  
Perhaps I was attracted to her from the beginning or maybe I had just grown bored. So when it came time to send her home, of course, I volunteered.  
"I can't believe you volunteered for this," Thor said in surprise as we sat in the car with the passed out woman. I could tell that though he was required to accompany me, he was genuinely curious about my actions.  
  
The woman in question was asleep next to me, buckled in with her head resting on my shoulder, while Thor sat on the other side of her.  
  
"Why not? I very rarely am able to leave the tower unless it is for a mission. Thanks for that by the way."  
  
"You know very well why you can't be left alone, brother."  
  
His words were firm, but I paid them no mind. The city lights were bright and it was already late into the night. Silence filled the car, neither one of us willing to break it. A few more minutes passed and we finally arrived at a small, run-down looking building. Surely, we had the wrong address.  
  
"What is this?" I muttered as we both exited the car.  
  
"I believe they refer to it as low-income apartments," Thor replied as he followed my gaze.  
  
"It looks like one of those haunted attractions you see in movies."  
  
"Must you insult everything that goes against your senses?" Thor huffed at me before turning to duck down and unbuckle our passenger.   
  
"I'm simply saying that Stark should compensate our unlikely heroine," I retorted.  
  
He managed to get her unbuckled and her feet out. Banner had hunted down clothes to change her into, but they did nothing for her, sweats and a baggy t-shirt from his closet no doubt. Thor picked her up and settled her over his shoulder as if she was a bag of produce and I sighed.  
  
"Do you treat all women this way? It's surprising you are actually dating one," I motioned to the woman, slumped over his shoulder. Her arms hung down his back and her round rear end was facing me. Normally I wouldn't have cared, but for some unknown reason, the sight of her being held like that by him irritated me.  
  
"What?" He said stupidly and I rubbed the bridge of my nose.  
  
"Just...give her to me."  
  
I held out my arms and he gave me a curious and confused look. After a moment he finally conceded and carefully set her in my arms. She settled against me, head resting in the nape of my neck, arm around my shoulders. It was clear that she had more substance and she felt surprisingly good in my arms. I ignored the quick thump my heart gave and proceeded inside with my brother trolling after me.  
  
The inside of the building wasn't much better, run down and dirty. There was a set of stairs directly in front of us and a series of mailboxes next to it, no elevator. No matter, she wasn't that heavy.  
  
"Stark said she lived on the ninth floor," my brother commented as we moved forward. The woman moaned painfully against me as I carried her. It was obvious the pain medication she'd been given was starting to wear off.   
  
The walk up the stairs didn't take long and we stopped in front of her door a few minutes later. Thor knocked a few times, apparently, the woman had a child. However, just as I started to wonder how a child would take care of her the door suddenly opened and a young man, maybe sixteen or so, glared at us.  
  
"Hurry up," he snapped, stepping aside so we could enter. Thor gave me a look, asking me silently to keep my mouth shut. I ignored him and walked in first.  
  
"Follow me," the boy snapped again. His hair was a mess and black as my own as we followed him to a small bedroom in the back. The apartment, or so it was called, was small, cramped and smelled delicious. Someone cooked frequently here and I had a mind to think it was the woman.  
  
"Set her down and get out," the boy growled. I raised a brow at him, a smirk on my lips.  
  
"You're a vicious one aren't you?"   
  
"Loki," Thor warned and the boy gave me a wicked looking smile in return.   
  
"Put her down and get...OUT,” his green eyes were threatening and bright.  
  
I'll give the boy credit, his meek appearance did not match the look in his eyes. He would have cowed any warrior on the battlefield and I immediately had respect for him.  
  
"Very well," I replied, my voice humbled in the wake of his anger.  
  
Carefully, I placed the woman on the bed, which caused her to groan in pain. Her son stepped in front of me, trying to force me back. I did only because I had no reason to stay that close to her and I put my hands up in surrender. He ushered us out of the room and closed the door firmly behind him. As we were walking I took in a little more of their apartment, it was very shabby. Not what I expected and though I had seen worse housings than this, it bothered me.   
  
As we approached the door, my brother made the mistake of opening his mouth.   
  
"Our deepest apologies for her injuries. Your mother saved our comrade and friend. We are thankful to her and hope she has a quick recovery."  
  
The boy's face softened slightly and I could see the resemblance finally to his mother. He let out a heavy sigh before pointing directly at me.   
  
"If you want to apologize, get him out of here."  
  
Thor and I both exchanged a glance, I had never met this boy or his mother and yet he seemed to have some kind of familiarity with me. His voice left no room for argument and since I had quenched my curiosity enough I decided to go back to the car. I would have listened to their conversation that started the moment I walked away, but I didn't really care that much. No doubt from the look on his face and Thor's overbearing attempts at understanding me, they were talking about only one thing. Me.

  
After arriving back at the tower, I was lounging in my room when I heard the distinct sound of the elevator door opening. As far as I knew, everyone was back and most likely in the common living room area. Curious, I set down the book that I had been reading, a collection of children's stories by two brothers named Grimm. I used my magic to dress in myself and left my room in search of who had arrived.   
  
To my surprise, I heard a familiar tone of voice speaking with the others as it drifted down the hallway. As I turned the corner I could see Clint, my brother, the Captain, Natasha and the woman with her son standing in the living room. I hesitated as my eyes looked her over and felt an odd sensation flit through my body. It felt electric and before I had really thought my entrance through I walked up behind her.   
  
"I wanted to say thank you for bringing me home the other day. Atticus just told me earlier that you had brought me home."   
  
Her voice was naturally lower but had soft upbeat tones that were pleasing on the ears. It was clear she was embarrassed, her ears turning a faint pink. Her eyes were focused on Thor and that didn't sit well at all.   
  
My brother smiled his stupid grin. Answering her with a smooth tone, "Of course, you fought bravely against Banner. You may be a mere human, but you are a warrior."   
  
Natasha and the boy, Atticus, were the first ones to notice me and I smirked as I watched her shoulders stiffen.   
  
"No thank you for the man who actually did the heavy lifting?"   
  
She turned slowly to look at me, those clear blue eyes deep and filled with wisdom hardened by hard experiences. They were loathing as they landed on me, despite that I felt my heartbeat increase. Her jaw clenched and it made her full lips press into a frown. I would have kissed her, but I was sure my brother would increase my punishment. I had no desire to

be more of a prisoner in the wretched place.   
  
That didn't stop me from teasing her though. She had such and lively expression.   
  
Atticus was tense beside his mother, a whisper barely escaping his lips. His fear was interesting, considering he had shown such strength days ago. Probably due to the heat of the moment now that his mother was awake and looking better.  
  
"Oh come now darling, surely you can manage a simple thank you. You thanked my dear brother with no problem."  
  
Her body language eased and it seemed all the anger left her in one smooth motion. She even smiled, just enough as she clenched her fist at her side. I'd seen something similar before and so I knew without a doubt she was going to try and hit me. She stepped forward, her leg trembling from her injury. I expected her to punch me, slap me or perhaps do a combo. Women tended to be rather emotional creatures so I decided I'd humor her and let her get out whatever injustice she had against me.  
  
That is not what happened.   
  
Instead, this temperamental woman kicked me with all the force she could manage on her injured leg right between my legs. Not once in all my years has anyone dared to kick me in such a place. White, hot pain shot through me and I doubled over. Nausea instantly took over and I had to force myself to make as little noise as possible.   
  
What the hell was wrong with this woman!?  
  
Silence followed and was shortly broken by Natasha's stifled laughter and a chorus of winces and 'ows' from the Captain, my brother and Clint. It was clear that not one of them felt that I didn't, on some level, deserve to have my genitals crushed by a wore tennis shoe.  
  
"Thank you," she said flatly. I looked up at her, seething with anger as she narrowed her eyes back at me. I could tell under her hard, threatening look that she was actually scared. It was an interesting combination and I decided not to take immediate action. Instead, I was going to make this woman pay me back tenfold for her sudden violence against my person.   
  
"Are you...okay brother?" Thor spoke as he approached. I wasn't fooled, his concern was flavored with amusement.  
  
"Fine, I'm fine," I muttered and I straightened myself, adjusting my shirt and pants. Just as I was about to come up with some nasty remark about her kicking me, the woman staggard as her hands tried to grab her son.   
  
"Atticus...?" Her voice sounded scared and Atticus attempted to try and wrap his arms around her.  
  
"Mom!?"   
  
The woman tried to keep her balance by stepping backward on her injured leg, but instead, it gave out and she fell backward. Without thinking I quickly held out my arms as she fell back against me. She landed with a thump but I was ready for it and quickly slipped my arm under her legs to lift her up as I had a few days ago. I felt myself freeze as her head rested in the same place in the nape of my neck. The close proximity sent a shifter down my spine and I forced myself to keep whatever look was trying to come over me, off my face.   
  
"Put her down!" Atticus yelled suddenly, anger in his eyes again. The sight of his mother fainting had worked on his last nerve, it was clear to see.   
  
"Atticus, calm down," Natasha spoke up, resting her hands on his shoulders.   
  
I looked at him, irritated. I was not going to hurt her, I had no reason to. Why this boy kept yelling and acting like a child was beyond me. He was a young man, he should have acted like it.   
  
"If you keep acting like a spoiled brat, I'm going to drop her right here at your feet," my voice was annoyed. However, it didn't occur to me that I'd said something interesting until I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I kept my face neutral as I raised a brow at him. He was looking a little more subdued, but not by much.   
  
"Now, show me where to lay her down," I attempted to sound gentle, but I don't think I managed. I'd been hit in the testicles by this woman and now she was passed out in my arms, again. Such a turn of events could only be someone playing a trick on me, but who would? I was the God of Mischief, surely I didn't do this to myself.   
  
It was a thought that carried on with me until after she was tucked into her bed and I was forced out of their apartment again. If the door could have slammed, I was sure it would have. I wasn't sure how to feel about this situation if anything. Why the woman was back was a curiosity in itself and I decided to seek my brother out for answers. But of course, he was already off to see his Jane and I was left to get answers out Natasha who liked me about as much I liked Banner.   
  
"What was that all about?"   
  
Her voice wasn't accusatory, but it was close as she stood with her arms crossed and a serious look on her face.   
  
"Not everything means something," I scoffed as I passed her. She would be no help and if anything she'd only add to the growing confusion. Curiosity, but still confusing.   
  
"It does with you. I don't think I need to say it, but I'll say it anyway. If your hurt Brynn or Atticus, I kill you."  
  
I stopped walking and looked over my shoulder at her. A smirk tugged at my mouth, finally. A piece of information that I could work with.  
  
"So her name is Brynn," I rather liked her name. It was masculine but had an old-world charm to it. The name fit her and my smirk grew. Natasha narrowed her eyes slightly as she proceeded to approach me, a small limp in her step.  
  
"They won't find the body. I'll make sure of it."  
  
Natasha smiled then, a pleasant smile blooming on her face as she continued to walk right past me. A moment later Atticus exited his apartment. I opened my mouth to say something, but instead, I quickly closed it before he noticed. He gave me a disgusted look, one I'd seen countless times as he walked past. In return I gave him a teasing look that he huffed at and walked by, completely ignoring me.  
  
Now alone in the hallway, I looked back at their door and then decided to follow the young man. Stark's computer program, JARVIS, had impeccable security. However it had one flaw, once someone was out of sight it was easy to trick it with my magic to make them seem like they had forgotten something and returned. The trick had worked well the few times I had done it.   
  
Casually, I walked fully intent on check on my new favorite interest. I hadn't really thought my plan through all the way. Mostly I just wanted to check on the woman, Brynn, and see how she was doing. Maybe poke around a little and see what type of a person she was without the kick to my still sore testicles and learn some information about her.  
  
My plan was quickly thrown out the window, as they say when I entered and heard the shower running. I was tempted to take a peek into the cracked bathroom door, but I managed to resist, barely.  
  
Instead, I tried to look around for something I could use as a reasonable thing to have forgotten. However, I was more surprised by how neat and tidy the place was. Everything had already been unpacked and put away and it looked liked she had lived there for years. It was truly shocking to see all of her things in a better situation than her previous apartment. The idea that she felt comfortable to unpack fully, eased something in my chest.  
  
"Hey, I thought you were going to stay out late tonight. You and Randal didn't have a fight did you?" Brynn called out from the bathroom and I cursed, trying to look around for something I could use as an excuse. I'd only seen her son twice now and I had no idea of his mannerisms. Surely, he must have a room, but which one?   
  
"Uh, no. We're fine, I just forgot something in my room," I answered in his voice.  
  
"Oh, okay. Let me change really quick, I want a hug before you go."  
  
A hug...?  
  
"...Right..." I answered again, not sure if I could pass for her son in such close proximity at this point.  
  
I saw her open the bathroom door, and I felt my heart give one of those hard thumps that I was beginning to associate with this woman. Her thick thighs were exposed and the towel she had wrapped around her barely covered the back of her round, plump ass.  
  
From the brief moment I saw her, I had to admit it was an ass. The sweats she had been in the last time I saw her did her form no justice. The right man would weep at her thighs if given a chance.  
  
What in the...? Alright, I needed to focus. I needed an alibi for my appearance and fast. Now that I knew which room she had slipped into, I carefully made my way to the other one. I could hear the opening and closing of drawers, with shuffling. The distinct smell of her soap hung in the moist air and I quietly groaned as I opened her son's room and looked inside.  
  
Like the rest of the place, it was neat and tidy. I didn't have much time so I grabbed the first thing a saw, a backpack leaning up against his desk. I slung it over my shoulder, praying it looked natural as I exited the same time she did.   
  
Her hair was damp, ruffled, and framed her face. Small cuts decorated her arms and legs and I had to work hard to keep the frown off my face. She gave me a gentle smile as she spoke.  
  
"Find what you're looking for?"   
  
I nodded and motioned to the backpack that hung off my shoulder. She smiled wider and suddenly kissed my temple and pulled me into a hug. I stiffened, holding my breath not sure how to react. I hadn't pegged her for the touchy feels type and it threw me off balance.  
  
She frowned, pulling away enough to look at me, "You sure everything is okay?"   
  
"Yeah, I'm fine," I mumbled as I shifted the backpack up on my shoulder. Her gaze was making me squirm and she gave me a mothering look.  
  
"Bullshit, somethings up. What is it?"  
  
I hesitated before finally looking at her concerned face. I was ready to lie, but something caught my attention and I stopped, looking at her chest. Just peeking out of the top of her tank top was a palm-sized black mark. I knew what it was in a second and the cold grip of reality hit me.  
  
That was a Frost Burn, something that happened when a Frost Giant focused its power. It normally killed on contact, but there was no mistaking the darkening veins it was seeping into. This must have been an effect of her crawling through all that slimy goo Stark and Banner had been working on. It had been days since that incident, so perhaps it would fade, but I doubted it. I'd have to keep a close eye on her if things got worse.  
  
"What is that?" I asked seriously, trying to distract her from me.  
  
"Huh?" She looked down at the mark and shrugged.  
  
"Oh, just a bruise. I didn't even notice it until I was in the shower. I mean really look at me." She motioned to herself, arms still covered in scabs from glass, cuts on her exposed legs and the massive bandage on her thigh. Her skin, which appeared to be naturally pale, had blossomed here and there with small bruises on the insides of her arms from where someone had tried to draw blood.  
  
The sight of all those injuries made my stomach churn.  
  
"I'm like a walking wound at this point," She laughed, throaty and heartfelt. I was too worried about blowing my cover, so I gave her a stiff smile.  
  
"Sweetie, I'm fine. Really, it's not that bad. It's just going to take a while to heal."   
  
She kissed my temple again trying to reassure me before walking into the living room and sitting down carefully on the couch. I followed but stayed standing as I watched her half lay, half sit on the couch. Brynn picked up the remote that was on the couch next to her and started flipping through channels at will. Her face looked excited and happy, a look that suited her.   
  
I wished for a moment she would smile at me like that...  
  
Suddenly, she grinned at me, "It's a shame you're leaving. We could have watched a documentary on sea cumbers together and compared them to male genitalia. But I suppose hanging out with your boy toy is more appealing than hanging out with your mom."  
  
Her tone was teasing and my mouth dropped open as she implied I was involved with a male lover. Another new piece of information, her son was gay and apparently, they both had an affinity for the male anatomy. My response was justified, but when she raised her eyebrow at me I knew I needed to leave.  
  
I huffed and turned towards the door, walking briskly. Yes, leaving was now my new mission, even as thoughts of sea cucumbers in the shape of male penises ran through my head.  
  
She laughed again, "Really? Nothing? No comment from my son about male gentiles?”   
  
I didn't trust myself to say anything, but instead, I hesitated just long enough to slip the backpack off my shoulder and set it next to the island counter, out of sight. Her disappointed sigh felt like a knife as she spoke.  
  
“Alright, we'll have a good time. I love you."  
  
I couldn't respond, how could I? I had no idea if her son would have said it back and I couldn't with any confidence say that I would sound genuine even if I did say it. However, as the door opened automatically and shut behind me, I made a promise to keep an eye on her.  
  
I wasn't sure why I was so concerned with her safety, but I knew that Frost Burn was a bad sign. I'd have to stick close to her and spot any signs that her condition worsened. I almost let my illusion drop then, but I didn't.   
  
Damn it all to hell. I needed to leave the building again to keep up my guise. I'd left a twin of myself down in the lower lab, giving Thor and his girlfriend a hard time.  
  
"Fuck," I said with feeling as I slowly made my way back to the elevator.


	17. Why!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you guys enjoyed my Loki chapter! The response was excellent and I appreciate all the feed back. It helps inspire me and crank out chapters. This one is a couple of days late, mainly because it went through two major rewrites. It is a shorter chapter unfortunately, sorry. Y_Y
> 
> You'll notice some there's a scene from Thor in there. I claim no credit for it at all, just the bits where I added Brynn. 
> 
> Enjoy! And by all means, keep commenting! Thank you all for reading! And if you feel up to it, check out some of my other works.

I’ll spare you the mass majority of the details regarding my continuous trip down memory lane. Mainly because the rest of the memories were just as painful and in some ways, more pitiful. It was like living my life in reverse and going through every deep heartache and the worst moment I’d ever had.  
  
I had no idea why I was going through all this, but after the third memory, I started to understand that I was reliving most of my life. In some of them, I had complete control over my body and actions and in others, none at all. Making me go through every stupid moment until its eventual end.  
  
Hell isn’t fire and brimstone boys and girls, it’s reliving your life in all its darkest moments. I was actually starting to think I didn’t really have that many good memories. I also had the scary thought that I was going to be stuck like this until I finally died from all the emotional crap getting flung at me.  
  
I shouldn’t have worried though, because, like all things in this train wreck I call my life, I always get that left hook out of fucking nowhere.

* * *

The scene shifted again from a childhood memory I had from when my sister made me eat mud before I could get on the school bus. It was one of the memories I had no control over as I proceeded to eat the mud off her shoes. Kind of fucked up that I still to this day felt that it was punishment for what I'd come to do later.  
  
"Stop!" Shouted a commanding voice. I jumped, blinking around at the cavernous room. It was dark, clean, but dark. I could barely make out a set of stairs with an older man in regal robes. He had some kind of eye patch on. I had absolutely no idea who this was, but I shouldn't have worried.  
  
Anger, betrayal, hurt and heartbreak hit me like a physical object. With it came hundreds of years of knowledge of who this person was and how important they were. Odin...  
  
"Am I cursed?" Loki's voice sounded behind me and I turned to see him standing with his back to me. His shoulders, barely covered by a black cape, were tense and I felt my chest stab sharply with pain. It hurt so bad, I doubled over, gripping my chest.  
  
"No," Odin replied.  
  
"What am I?" Loki asked, his voice chilled me. For the first time since I'd know him, I wasn't angry. I was fucking terrified.  
  
He set something down on a pillar, a blue box of some kind with an intricate design on it. It glowed brightly for a moment before Odin spoke.  
  
"You're my son."  
  
The words were matter-of-fact, but there was a deeper meaning there. Loki turned slowly, his skin a dark, deep bluish color with raised markings around his eyes and cheeks. His sharp features were more pronounced and his once green eyes were a deep gold, hints of black tracing their irises.  
  
Another wave of pain hit and I crumpled to the floor. I seared into my brain and threatened to make my head turn to mush. Knowledge forced its way in, and I cried out as I gripped my head. It hurt so fucking bad that for a moment, my vision went black. Frost Giant. The term burned into me and I felt my body ache as I tried to catch my breath.  
  
"What more than that?" Loki asked, the blue fading from his face and his so-called normal features coming back. The pain eased and I was able to finally breathe again.  
  
"The casket wasn't the only thing you took from Yodenhiem, was it?"  
  
Another question left him as he walked towards me and his father. Odin watched him with a calculating eye as he came closer.  
  
"No," Odin finally said, "In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small for a Giant's offspring. Abandoned, suffering, and left to die. Laufeyson."  
  
"Laufeyson..." Loki murmured. I slowly sat up, catching the haunted look on his face. Everything he knew, everything he was, was a lie. I forced myself to stand, even as another sharp pain overcame me. I staggard, but I kept moving forward, clenching my chest. Tears had welled up in his eyes.  
  
"Yes," Odin spoke softly. That one word meant everything and nothing. Loki was a prince, a rightful one too. Just not an Asgardian one, but a Frost Giant one.  
  
"Why?" Loki said, bewildered, "You were knee-deep in Yoden blood. Why would you take me?"

"You were an innocent child."  
  
"No," Loki shook his head, "You took me for a purpose, what was it?" Loki looked back at Odin, who still had his poker face on.  
  
Odin didn't answer and I felt my body crumple in on itself again. I felt like I was dying. This constant barrage of knowledge and emotions. Twisting, hurting, and...  
  
"Tell me!" Loki yelled, his voice echoing in the cavernous room.  
  
"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace. Through you."  
  
Those words ripped something inside. I could feel it. I sobbed as I collapsed on the floor and held my abdomen. A tool. Not a son, a fucking tool to be used. The betrayal echoed inside my head like a bell.  
  
"But those plans no longer matter," Odin continued.  
  
"Wha? So I am no more than another stolen relic? Locked up here until you might have use of me—"  
  
"Why do you twist my words?" Odin interrupted, but Loki continued.  
  
"You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?"  
  
There it was, the question that needed an answer. The others didn't fucking matter, this one. The why of it, why it was kept a secret, mattered. He could forgive if he just had a reason.  
  
"You're my son, I wanted only to protect you from the truth."  
  
"I-I am the monster that parents tell their children in bed at night!?" Tears that had welled up began to fall and Odin started to turn away.  
  
"No...no," Odin murmured.  
  
"It all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years because no matter how much you claimed to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"  
  
Odin started to collapse, his elderly hand reaching out to brace himself against the stone wall. Loki's anger rose more and I felt blood coat the inside of my mouth. Coughing, I gagged as a black puddle of blood erupted onto the floor. Odin collapsed completely onto the floor, eyes shut and as still as death. My vision was narrowing as Loki bent over him, hands over his father.  
  
Regret swam up and took a bite out of me and I vomited another puddle of blood. I gasped for air and at that moment Loki turned to look at me. His eyes seemed to focus on me and in one smooth motion, he was up and striding towards me.  
  
"You stubborn woman," he cursed, grabbing me up off the blood-covered floor. He held me close in a princess carry. My head lulled back and I saw the faint traces of tear tracks on his face. He looked so concerned, so upset that I forgot I hated his fucking guts.  
  
"Why would you watch this? How did you even get in here?" His voice was worried and angry. The pain I'd been feeling subsided and before I realized what I was doing, I touched my fingertips to a lonely tear that threatened to fall from his jaw.  
  
He froze, eyes too wide and I sputtered, trying to talk.  
  
"I...am.....s..sorry...."  
  
His brow furrowed as he started walking briskly towards the stairs that lead out of the room. Odin was gone, not a trace of him anywhere. Loki took the steps two at a time, maybe three as he hurried on.  
  
"Why do you keep apologizing?" The question didn't seem like it was for me, but I answered anyway.

  
"I...just......am...."  
  
"Stubborn girl, you almost killed yourself poking around in my head," he was going for chiding but it came across worried and I chuckled. Blood seeped out of my mouth as I did and I didn't have the energy to wipe it off.  
  
"S...sorry..."  
  
"Shut up, you're causing more damage to yourself," he huffed, the stairs opened up into a long hallway and at the end of it was a bright, white light. It looked warm, welcoming and I found myself growing sleepy just looking at it.  
  
"Don't fall asleep. You have to stay awake, we're almost there."  
  
My eyes started to drift closed, my body feeling almost weightless.  
  
"Brynn! Open your eyes!" Loki yelled and my eyes snapped open. The light at the end of the hallway seemed so far away and Loki sprinted as fast as he could. I didn't really get why it was so important that I stay awake. These were just memories, they couldn't hurt you.  
  
Right?  
  
"We're running out of time," Loki slowed his paced and looked at me. My eyes were beginning to drift closed again and he cursed in some language I didn't recognize. He came to a complete stop and I felt myself get lowered to the floor. The stone was cold, but it wasn't enough to make me want to open my eyes. I could feel slender fingers wipe the corner of my mouth and warm breath tickle my face. The scent of freshly fallen snow drifted around me.  
  
"I promise to let you kick me when you wake up," he whispered.  
  
Warm lips pressed against mine and a warmth spread through me. I hadn't realized how cold I was until it traced my mouth and ran down my neck. It hurt, but it felt good at the same time and I moaned. My heart gave a few hard beats, hesitant as if it wasn't sure it should keep going.  
  
The kiss grew harder and the warmth increased, making my heart start beating in its normal rhythm again. I gasped against the kiss and as soon as my mouth opened the kiss got deeper. I panicked, not sure what was going on or what was happening. My eyes snapped open and I realized that Loki was kissing me. I tried to pull away, but his hands laced around my neck and head, holding me there.  
  
I gripped the front of his armor and tried to shove him, but it was like he was made of fucking rock. I couldn't fucking move him at all and his eyes cracked just enough to pin me with them. I gave him a 'what the fuck' look and he returned it with a 'shut up and let me kiss you' look. Stunned, I stopped fighting as his tongue teased mine, the distinct taste of blood coating it.  
  
Why the hell were we kissing!? Couldn't the fact that I'd thrown up blood be a deterrent from horny demigods!? I mean, just what the fuck was going on here!?  
  
I'd like to point out that I have never had anyone kiss me so deeply. I had no fucking clue was I was doing but after the panic started to go down, I started to kiss him back. I tried to follow his movements and the warmth grew hotter. It tingled, bringing a wave of pleasure that traced waves along my skin and a throaty moan escaped me.  
  
It didn't take long before I got caught up in the moment and instead of pushing, I pulled him closer. All those crazy sex fantasies I'd been repressing for god knows how long came out all and once. Loki kissed me passionately, one hand letting his thumb rub through my shirt against my collar bone. I shivered, which made me inadvertently nibble his bottom lip. He groaned a deep vibrating sound and a thrill ran through me. I wasn't cold anymore, I was downright feverish.  
  
Loki suddenly pulled away, hovering over the top of me. I had no idea what my face looked like, but he looked spooked.  
  
"Um," I said, embarrassed. My face flushed as I finally realized what I had been doing. Jesus fucking Christ...someone kill me.  
  
Loki got up off me and yanked me to my feet. I let out a startled sound as his hand grabbed mine and suddenly we were running again toward the bright light at the end of the hallway. Minutes passed and as we sprinted he yanked me forward, my feet tripping over themselves.  
  
"What the fu—!" I screamed as I fell forward into the bright light.


	18. Family Turmoil/ Something To Care About

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for frequently commenting! It really helps me to keep pushing through some rough patches I've been having in my writing. Your support is appreciated! 
> 
> This chapter was rewritten a couple of times but I think I finally got it right. 
> 
> If anyone has any suggestions for what they would like to see as far as scenes go, feel free to suggest. I can't promise I'll use all of them but I'll try. ^_^

I sat up suddenly, gasping for breath. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. Everything still looked the same. Glass walls, hospital bed, small side table with nothing on it and a heart monitor that had been turned off and pushed aside. Someone had left a light on towards the back of the lab, giving just enough light to see by once my eyes adjusted.

"Well, it seems like you're all better now," Loki's voice had me wiping around to see him, still laying down, bare-chested and one arm under his head. He looked good. Really, really fucking good. I forced myself to swallow and focused on his forehead instead. It was the only place I could think of that seemed safe.

"Wha? I...I don't get it..." 

Seriously, wasn't I dying before? I mean, I felt fine now. Remembering having black lines running through my veins, I looked down. The black spot on my chest was gone, my skin its healthy tone again. Something dripped from my nose and my finger brought away a smear of red blood. A tissue appeared just over my shoulder and I blinked stupidly at it until I finally took it. 

Pressing it to my nose, I turned to look at Loki again.

"Thanks," I said nasally. If the worst thing I suffered out of all of this was a nose bleed, I'd take it.

He nodded and sat on the bed next to me. Seriously, this hospital bed was huge. Our shoulders touched and it dawned on me all too late that I was in my bra and a pair of sleep shorts. I tried to act casual as I pulled the blanket in my lap up to cover my chest. I wasn't fooling anyone because Loki snickered next to me.

"Darling, there's no need to be shy. That kiss said everything I needed to know about you," he teased and I groaned, still holding my tissue to my nose.

"Shut up, I don't even know why you kissed me or what was happening. I didn't feel like I was dying when I was in Steve's head." 

"Of course not, he's human. A modified one, but still human. I'm not. I think that's pretty straight forward."

I rolled my eyes, "Right, you're a Frost Giant."

"As of what was happening," Loki shrugged, ignoring my comment about Frost Giants, "you were dying. Making no mistake, if I hadn't of kissed you and forced you to take some of my life energy you would have died."

"Wait, what does that mean? 'Life energy'?" I frowned, having an issue getting my head around it.

"Just how it sounds. I gave you a small amount of my life force so you could live. I suspect I've only lost about two years, give or take." 

He looked at me then, a humble smile on his lips as I stared at him. 

"Why...would you do that?" I was completely fucking beside myself, "No one asked you to do that!"

"No, but your death would have been on my hands. I'd rather not be punished further. Besides," he smirked, leaning closer to me. Thank god my face was half-covered with my tissue because I was already blushing.

"I know you liked it," his voice was smooth, taunting and I turned away from him. 

What in the fuck was he doing!? Better yet, what the fuck was I doing!? I was acting like a teenager all over again. Maybe because I had to relive the memory of sleeping with my sister's crush, I was just sensitive to it. The fact that I wasn't immediately repulsed by the idea made me tremble in confusion and embarrassment.

"Nope, nope, nope...nope!" I chanted as I scrambled off the bed, taking my blanket with me. I dropped the bloody tissue as I walked, wrapping the blanket around me. I was not going to explore my feelings on this. I hated him, that was it. End of story. I didn’t care how good looking he was.

"JARVIS, open the door!"

"Why are you so stubborn?" Loki sighed as JARVIS came from overhead.

"I'm sorry Brynn, I cannot let you out until Mr. Stark had deemed you fit for—"

"JARVIS, open this door," I demanded, hitting the glass with my hand, "Open it!"

"I can not—" JARVIS said again.

"—I mean really, I've kissed thousands of women and you're the only one who runs away?" 

I could hear Loki get up and start to pad on bare feet towards me. My confusion and embarrassment switched to anger and I smacked the glass again. I really, really fucking hated glass. It felt like I was a prisoner. I felt hopeless. Even though I'd agreed to all of this so far, it felt like I was drowning.

"Hey," Loki said next to me, his voice was calm and I grew even more pissed off.

"I can't stand this! I hate you! Why am I—" My words cut off and out of frustration I hit the glass again. 

All of the thick glass that made up my room shattered into tiny little pieces. My hand easily went through where the glass was in one fluid motion and I staggered forward. Glass rained down and hit the floor and bounced on the tile floor with a musical sound. I panicked, thinking that I'd step on the shards of glass but they moved out away from my foot as I almost fell forward.

"What in the—" I whispered, I wasn't pissed anymore, I was shocked. 

"That's interesting," Loki murmured as he eyed my feet, the glass moving away from them as I took another step forward.

An alarm sounded somewhere, high pitched and far off. JARVIS came back on as I crouched down. The glass moved away from me in a small wave and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. This was pretty badass.

"I've alerted Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner about your situation."

"Uh, thanks JARVIS," I replied, letting my finger swirl patterns into the glass. Looking over my shoulder and saw Loki was still standing there, a gentle look on his face. I grinned at him.

"I bet you can't do that," I taunted and he shrugged like he didn't care.

"Maybe, but I still know more about magic than you do," he smirked and I felt my face still.

"Magic? As in actual magic? As in 'I just did this with magic', magic?"

"As I said, you shouldn't have been waltzing around in my head. You didn't just gain knowledge about myself and my family. You also gained my knowledge of magic inadvertently, like a sponge."

I stood up, confusion on my face.

"But I didn't learn anything about magic. Just what you are and your emotions and your...father," I hesitated because I didn't know how raw the wound was. I still didn't know if his father was alive, or dead.

Loki gave me a cat-like grin as he brought his finger to his lips, tapping them.

"Our kiss didn't just suck the life out of me, you learned my tricks too," he winked at me and I felt my face flush all over again. The sound of the elevator dinged distantly followed by several people running and talking over one another.

I gaped at him. He looked so damned pleased with himself that when I turned around To Tony, Banner, Atticus, and Natasha, I motioned with my hand like a crazy person.

"Can you believe this asshole!?" 

All four of them looked at me with various levels of surprise and confusion.

"Uh, mom?" Atticus spoke up. His hair was a mess, his green eyes awake but tired around the edges. It was clear that he threw on his shirt from yesterday and he was standing in his boxers just past the edge of the shattered glass.

"What?"

"Did you break the glass?" Atticus motioned to the floor and I blinked. Leave it to my son to focus on the main issue.

"Oh, yeah. Well I wanted out because of him," I pointed behind me at Loki, who scoffed, "and JARVIS wouldn't open the door. I started banging on the glass because I was pissed and...my hand kind of... I don't know, went through it?" 

My voice grew quieter as Tony and Banner's expressions changed. Banner looked fascinated while Tony looked more and more irritated by the second. Who knew how much an all-glass tech, computer whatever room cost. I sure as hell didn't. I hung my head a little as Natasha stifled a laugh.

"Sorry Tony, I didn't know that I'd break it. It's like three inches thick!" I tried to explain but all I did was make Tony rub the bridge of his nose.

"It's fine," he muttered, sighing.

"Brynn, why is all the glass away from your feet?" Natasha, still looking like perfection even after waking up so suddenly, pointed at the floor.

"I don't know, I can't touch it. See?"

I did a little jig, jumping to one side then the other. The glass danced around my feet with me, not one single shard getting within a few inch radius. It was weird as all hell but fucking cool.

Banner watched closely, crouching down and pulling his glasses out of his pocket. Slipping them on, he reached his hand out to pick one up. 

"Hey! Don't touch the glass, are you crazy? You're going to get cut—" 

Who in their right mind would pick up a piece of broken glass with their fingers? Startled, I put my hand up to try and stop him. The glass rippled away from me until it reached its end. Once it did the glass hovered just a few centimeters off the ground before shooting past me. I tensed, covering my face with my blanket as everyone else yelled for me to get down. The sound of cracking glass was quick and when I looked up the four of them were staring behind me.

It suddenly dawned on me that Loki was still behind me and I quickly turned around, afraid for some unknown reason that he'd been hurt. 

Loki stood on the other side of the untouched glass in the room. He looked all around the seamless panes in front of him before he tapped on the glass. It made a dull sound and he nodded, a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Oh darling, I can't wait to see what else you can do," his words held so much weight that I could feel my face turning red again.

"Does everything have to do with sex!?" I shouted. He shrugged in return and I looked back at the rest of them.

"See what I mean!?" 

I was met with a sea of slightly gaping faces and surprised looks. Atticus was the first to recover and he let out a deep sigh.

"I need coffee, who's with me?"

* * *

The next week was filled with poking, prodding, tissue samples, stress testing, MCA (measurable comparison actions - AKA: magic ability usage) and my son deciding to take charge of my overall wellbeing. I had no idea why Atticus was suddenly getting all domineering but there were several times Banner and him...disagreed. Some of them downgraded to arguments that really had nothing to do with what we were doing or what Banner was testing. Atticus had also decided to spend the time he wasn't watching over Banner, Tony and anyone else who came to run tests, that he would spend the night at Randall's house. 

The real kicker was Atticus wouldn't really even talk to me. He'd give me short answers and when I tried to press him, he'd shut down and that would be the end of our talk. It hurt, a lot. I wanted to yell at him and tell him to snap the fuck out of it, but at the same time he'd never acted like this before and I had no idea what I should do. 

I was released back to the living quarter level too, which was great. Natasha caught me up on everything that had happened between her and Banner. It was adorable how they were 'secretly' seeing each other because let's be honest anyone who looked at the footage of Banner leaving Natasha's room knew what was going on. They hadn't done much more than make out a little but Natasha was downright gitty. It was easy enough to steer her away from the topic of Loki and I prayed that it would stay that way. 

Speaking of the mischievous demigod, he and Thor had gone back to Asgard and would be back who knew when. Thor looked pretty annoyed when they left, but Loki looked like he'd done nothing wrong. Maybe he hadn't, I just didn't know anymore. The more I thought about the memory I'd seen and the emotional backlash, giving me some of his life force and our kiss...

Fuck, I just didn't know what to think about him. There were a lot of times lately that I had to remind myself that he was responsible for River's death. For a lot of people's deaths and yet, I kind of understood it. With the knowledge I gained I knew that at the heart of all his actions he just wanted his father to see him as an equal. Equal to Thor in being on the throne, equal as a son and loved unconditionally. He loved his family, adopted or no, he didn't want to see them hurt. He was acting out a two-year-old tantrum with devastating consequences.

From that perspective, it was easy to understand. It still left a bad taste in my mouth. It was better if I just didn't fucking think about Loki or any of that shit. It was much easier now that he wasn't here taunting me or making his suggestive sexual comments. It was kind of weird not having him around.

About the only good things that came out of all this bullshit was I was one hundred percent healthy, no weird black spots, no physical changes and I was able to do what Loki called magic. My ability was somewhat chaotic because if I wasn't focused enough weird shit would start happening. A coffee mug would shatter randomly, a stack of papers no one was even near would blow through the lab, or the most recent one; my hot shower suddenly pelting me with ice. The ice bounced off my skin enough to feel the temperature difference, but it didn't hurt.

I couldn't relax even for a second and with Atticus acting like an asshole, I was beyond exhausted. I was afraid to sleep. What if I fell asleep and I started a fire or something? I had no idea how to control it other than just keeping my brain focused on not doing it. The second my mind drifted or wandered, something would happen. I'd almost passed out in the elevator coming back from the lab when it decided to suddenly have its doors open between floors. So I'd taken up baking at night to keep me busy. Literally, anything I could think of. My fridge was packed as well as the common one.

The lack of sleep was making me depressed and I just didn't have much energy at all. By the end of the week, I just couldn't stand baking another batch of cookies. Banner kept asking me if I was okay that day, but before I could answer Atticus jumped in and told Banner to mind his business. I swear if I wasn't so exhausted I would have yelled at him. Knowing Banner turned into the Hulk was different than actually seeing it. Atticus had no idea how close he was to getting killed. I had no idea how Banner was keeping his cool.

I'd been pacing the hallways of all the floors I had access to other than levels one through fifty. Walking was keeping me awake, but I was feeling really lonely for some reason. It was probably because Atticus was spending so much time with Randall and the time I did get to spend with him was always coated with hostility and anger. I would have sought out Natasha or even Steve, but Steve had been avoiding me and Natasha was wrapped up in Banner. Clint was somewhere doing something so he was out too.

I let out a heavy sigh as the doors opened to one of the smaller labs. It was small, dark and boring. Not what I would call stimulating. What I needed was some fresh air. I needed to see the city with my own eyes and not behind glass. I needed to smell it, taste it on my tongue and feel the coolness on my skin. 

"Hey JARVIS, does my security clearance allow me to go to the top floor?"

There was a pause before he answered me, "Only in cases of an emergency."

"Okay then, I want the top floor," I mumbled as I pushed the button for the door to close.

"The building is not under attack, so I cannot."

"Is an emergency limited to the building being under an attack?"

Another pause, "No, but there is no state of emergency present."

"JARVIS, if I don't get some fresh air I'm going blow all the glass out of every single window in this building," I sounded tired, but my threat was real. With how I felt right now I probably wasn't far off the mark. 

Without pressing a button, the elevator started to move and a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.

"Thanks, JARVIS."

"You're welcome, Brynn."

* * *

The night air was perfect.

The lights of the city were bright and the noise from the street barely reached my ears. I instantly felt better. JARVIS said he'd give me fifteen minutes and if I wasn't back in the elevator by then he was going to inform Banner. Tony was currently out on date night with Pepper, so Banner was on point. I agreed and practically ran to the edge of the building, right past the landing pad for the heli-carrier and to the only area of flat concrete. I wasn't brave enough to dangle my legs, but I let my feet hang over the edge as I sat down and leaned back on my hands.

The night sky was clear, stars twinkling softly as I stared upwards. This felt good. I needed this like you sometimes need that really hot shower at the end of a long day. I have no idea how long I sat there when I heard footsteps behind me.

I blinked as Thor's broad frame came into view. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, which meant he must have changed before coming up here. He looked down at me, a small smile on his face.

"Planning your escape?"

I chuckled, "No, just needed some fresh air," I almost asked where Loki was, but I kept my mouth shut.

Thor sat down next to me, sitting cross-legged and quiet. He had a calming feeling about him and I was grateful for the silence. We sat like that for a while, that is until my curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to ask about Loki, but I just couldn't make myself do it. Instead, I opted for a sneakier approach.

"So when did you get back?" I asked nonchalantly. 

"A little while ago," he glanced at me and I choose to ignore it.

"Oh, I see." 

God, what was with me? I wanted to ask but I didn't. I wanted to know why they had left so suddenly after I was okay, but I didn't want to know. There was a feeling in my chest that I couldn't explain and I didn't care to either. Fuck me.

Thor seemed to get what was going on inside my head and he shrugged, leaning back on his hands mirroring me.

"Loki is under a strict edict by our father. I had to take him back to determine if he had somehow planned your change."

I barked out a laugh, "You thought he was responsible for me crawling through that glass cover mess?" 

"No," Thor shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, "but I've seen my brother play his games without anyone knowing what he was up to. I've seen the video of you looking for Natasha. Loki had no interaction with you before that night. None of us even knew you were there until JARVIS informed us."

"Hm, but your father still blames him for whatever I've turned into? I thought Loki donated his DNA for Tony's project."

"He did and that is true, but my father also knows how angry Loki is still. Trying to use Stark's experiment against him is child's play."

I looked back out over the city, taking that in. Thinking about it, I could see where Odin was coming from. I could also see why Loki could still be angry, but from the memory, I saw and the emotions I felt, I didn't think it was anger.

"I think it's regret," I murmured, "Loki felt pretty horrible when Odin collapsed on those stairs. I'm glad to hear that he is alive by the way, it wasn't clear from the memory I saw."

Thor looked at me in surprise and I smiled at him, "Reliving memories has some perks."

Thor chuckled a nice warm sound that felt good. The conversation fell quiet again as we looked out over the city. 

"You know," Thor said after a moment, "My father worries over Loki, but I think after this visit he isn't as worried anymore."

"Oh?" I said absently.

"I think Loki found something he cares more about than our father's approval of him or a seat on the throne."

I raised a brow at him, "Yeah? And what's that?"

Thor shrugged and sat forward then stood up in one fluid motion.

"No idea, it's just a feeling in my gut," he chuckled, holding out his hand, "Come on, we should go back inside before JARVIS alarms Banner."

I sighed, "Yeah, yeah," I muttered as I grabbed his hand.


	19. Bad Parenting

Thor accompanied me back to the elevator and down to the living quarters. The elevator dinged and opened smoothly as we exited. I was awake before being outside, but now that I was back down inside the building all that energy left me and I staggered from the sudden exhaustion. Thor caught me by the arm and I held onto him.  
  
"Are you okay? What's wrong?"  
  
"I'm fine, just tired. I haven't been able to sleep for the last week or so. Every time I do or if my mind drifts, something happens and I'm really trying to avoid that. Last time I almost fell asleep in the shower and the water turned to ice."  
  
I straightened after a second rubbing my eyes, fuck they felt sore and itchy.  
  
"You haven't slept for a week?" Thor frowned as I looked at him and shrugged.  
  
"I'm afraid I'm going to hurt somebody."  
  
He gave me a stern look and I blinked tiredly at him.  
  
"Well, well. Nice to see my brother has taken it upon himself to come to find another woman."  
  
Loki's voice was clipped and I looked over to see him standing in front of us just a foot away. He wasn't in his normal slacks and button-up shirt, but a plain blue t-shirt and a pair of checkered sleep pants that were grey. I'd never seen him in anything so casual and I ended up staring at him. The shirt sleeves showed off his lean muscular arms and while it wasn't form fitting it was evident that his body was toned and delicious.  
  
Oh. My. God.  
  
What was I doing checking him out!?  
  
I coughed to try and hide my face and avert my eyes at the same time. He wasn't even in the same fucking space with me for a full minute before my eyes were all over him. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Loki looking at me and then at Thor with an irritated look. Thor chuckled and I felt his hand on my back two seconds before he gave me a push towards Loki.  
  
"Brynn hasn't slept in a week. She's afraid that she's going to hurt someone. You should really teach her how to separate herself from her new abilities before she gets hurt again. Don't you think, brother?"  
  
Thor sounded amused as I started to fall forward, unable to keep my balance. Loki caught me with his hands on my shoulders. The moment they did it felt like the tension in my body eased and I let my head fall forward on his chest. Loki tensed as I let out a sigh of relief. I couldn't explain it, but when he touched me it was like I could finally relax.  
  
Thor walked passed us, slapping Loki's shoulder hard enough to jar us both. I managed to pull my head back away from Loki to see him give Thor a panicked look. Thor grinned and kept walking, a few moments later we were alone in the hallway.  
  
Loki cleared his throat and looked down at me, "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm just really tired. I'm afraid to sleep," my voice sounded deeper and a bit ragged from exhaustion. I could see the barest touch of pink on his face.  
  
"Come with me," he let go of my shoulders and took my wrist as he started walking. The skin contact made me feel a little weak in the knees but I chalked it up to my exhaustion. I found myself focusing on my steps so I wouldn't fall. Within seconds we were outside the door to my apartment and the door opened as if on cue. Fuck I really hoped I wasn't doing that. Loki led me to the couch and gently pushed me down so I was sitting. He took up a spot next to me and turned to face me directly.  
  
"Give me your hands," he held out his and I obediently did as he asked. He smirked at me, closing his long fingers over mine.  
  
"Maybe I won't help you, I like it when you're obedient."  
  
"Fuck you," I grumbled, attempting to pull my hands back. Loki held them fast and chuckled.  
  
"Calm down, you want to sleep don't you?"  
  
"Yes," I said, defeated, "But I'm not in the mood for your teasing."  
  
"Alright, another time then. Close your eyes and take a deep breath."  
  
I did as he asked, his hands feeling solid around mine.  
  
"Now, I want you to stop focusing on not using your magic."  
  
I opened my eyes and snorted, "Are you joking? Me focusing on NOT doing weird shit is the only reason something hasn't broken yet or the fridge ending up on the other side of the room."  
  
"Exactly, you're thinking too hard and it's being forced out. Your fear is going to be your own worst enemy. You need to stop thinking. Now close your damn eyes," his voice was serious and his face was completely focused on mine. I sighed heavily and closed them again.  
  
"How the hell am I supposed to stop thinking about not doing something. It's like an oxymoron."  
  
Loki snickered and I felt his hands loosen around mine slightly.  
  
"Your magic doesn't work based off of spells or incantations, yours is grounded in the elements. Wind, fire, water, those kinds of things. Your magic is a wild thing, the more you try to control it the harder it is to control."  
  
I frowned, keeping my eyes closed, "Again you're not telling me how to not think about it."  
  
"Strong emotions are going to be what tips the scale. You need to ground yourself when you’re feeling stressed. Take a deep breath and push the thought away. Let yourself feel the air in your lungs," I did as he asked and I felt him shift slightly, "Now do it again."  
  
I took another deep breath and let it out slowly. A thought occurred to me as he shifted again and I opened one eye to look at him. He startled, his face closer to mine and I fully looked at him with a glare.  
  
"I swear to god, if you kiss me right now I'm going to punch you."  
  
Loki gave me a teasing grin as he sat back, looking like he was behaving himself.  
  
"You must want me to kiss you because you keep saying you don't want me to," he teased and I groaned.  
  
"How does that make any sense? Why would I say that if I wanted you to kiss me?"  
  
"So you do want me to kiss you?" He tilted his head, that smirk on his face getting wider.  
  
"Ugh, this isn't going to work!" I snatched my hands back and Loki chuckled.  
  
"What's not going to work?" He had the gall to look confused and I threw my hands up.  
  
"You and me! It won't work! So stop trying to kiss me or sleep with me or whatever you're trying to do!"  
  
I was yelling, fully awake now and pissed off. The Tv suddenly turned on at full volume and I let out a girlish sound that had me blushing and scrambling for the remote. Loki let out a delighted laugh as he watched me. When I finally got the remote and hit the mute button he practically had tears in his eyes.  
  
"Jesus! Why can't you just leave me alone?" I huffed as I tossed the remote on the coffee table and sat back down on the couch.  
  
Loki reached out suddenly and cupped my face in his hands. His body pressing closer to me as he looked down those few inches, eyes locked on mine.  
  
"I can't and I won't. I'm going to tease you until you can't stand it anymore," his voice was amused but serious and I blinked at him, startled.  
  
"W-why?" I breathed, my skin was tingling where he was touching my face and I felt all my anger subside like a balm.  
  
"Because..." He trailed off as he leaned forward and I closed my eyes in anticipation. My heart raced as the tingling feeling grew. Just the touch of his hands was enough to make me tremble. When I didn't feel his lips on mine I opened my eyes to see him slowly grin at me.  
  
Oh no, he fucking got me! Oh, fuck! There was nothing I could say to get myself out of this mess and I gaped at him. By closing my eyes I'd admitted that I wanted him to kiss me. I was fucking done for. A look of victory came over his face and he released me as he stood.  
  
"Congratulations, you stopped thinking," he tapped me on my nose like a child and left leaving me sitting there red all over and my chest tightening.  
  
He was right though, I wasn't thinking about not using my ability anymore. Now there was only one thought on my mind.  
  
What was this feeling in my chest?

* * *

Let's face it, being a parent is like being the ring leader in a circus you don't own, don't make money at and the performers are all trying to pelt you with broken toys and shitty attitudes.  
  
Then something happens and suddenly the performers look to you for the answer on how to fix it.  
  
The biggest lie I've ever told myself is that I'd protect my kids no matter what. Let's face it, there are some things you cannot protect your kids from, no matter how hard you try.  
  
And then you come to realize it's not about protecting them, it's about fighting for them. Sometimes that means going down to the school to fight their wrongful suspension for showing up a teacher in class.  
  
Other times, it's kicking the shit out of their boyfriend and almost blowing up an apartment building.  
  
You know, things like that.

* * *

"Excuse me, excuse me!? I'm looking for Atticus Foster? I'm his mom."  
  
"Oh, yes, Ms. Foster. He's still in the ER, room 1B."  
  
"Thank you!" I practically ran down the hallway, glancing at the room numbers as I went.  
  
Just as I was trying to get my mind off Loki by settling into the couch and watching a documentary about whales in the South Pacific, my phone rang. The only one who ever called me was Atticus so when I saw a local number I almost didn't answer it.  
  
It was a good thing I did.  
  
I found 1B quickly and hesitantly entered the room. The curtain was pulled around the bed and the doctor was typing something on the computer.  
  
"Excuse me, I'm Brynn Foster. A nurse told me my son was here?"  
  
The doctor was shorter than me by about four inches and he looked up with a tired expression. It looked like he was having the same kind of week I'd been having. He nodded and motioned for me to go outside the room. I really wanted to see Atticus, but I did as he implied and stepped out. He followed me and pulled me across the hall gently by the arm.  
  
"Ms. Foster, thank you for coming so quickly. I've given him a sedative so he can sleep but his injuries are pretty extensive."  
  
"What happened?" I could feel my heart pounding but I swallowed down the rising fear as he placed his hands in his white coat.  
  
"He walked into the ER about an hour ago. He's been beaten pretty badly. When asked who was responsible, he refused to answer and instead gave us your contact information. He's suffered a broken rib and massive bruising along his abdominal area. He's got a swollen eye and some bruising on his knuckles, which tells me he was trying to fight off his attacker. The police have already come and taken his statement if you could call it that. He just kept repeating that he wanted you.”  
  
I took in a sharp breath, stunned and horrified. I didn't know what to say. There was a mess of questions and anger that kept me from talking, but I finally managed to get it out.  
  
"Is he going to be okay?"  
  
The doctor nodded, "Yes, but he's going to be hurting for a while. There's no permanent damage and no internal bleeding."  
  
I nodded, eager to see Atticus. I had to see with my own eyes that he was okay.  
  
"Ms. Foster, the police are still here. They'd like to talk to you before you see your son."  
  
It took everything I had in me to not scream, and fuck if I didn't want to. Instead, I forced myself to take a few deep breaths and tried not to think too hard about...things I shouldn't be thinking about. AKA, my ability causing a scene in a packed hospital. So far, other than the TV incident at home, nothing had happened. I just hoped my luck held out.  
  
As if on cue, two police officers appeared from around the corner making a straight shot to me. They stopped just beside the doctor who nodded at them.  
  
"I'm going to work on his discharge paperwork, I'll be at the nurse's station when you're done." He walked off without looking back and the two officers looked at me expectantly.  
  
"Good evening ma'am, we have a couple of questions for you."

* * *

It took an hour to answer all of their questions, which was stupid when you think about it. I knew nothing and Atticus hadn't told them anything. A fact that left a sour taste in my mouth and made my already tired body ache with tension. I couldn't figure out who would have beat him up. He was well-liked at school by his teachers as well as other students. He didn't have many friends, but Randall would never hurt him. The only thing I could think of was that maybe he got mugged on the way home, but that didn't explain why he hadn't told the police anything.  
  
Finally able to see him, I entered the small space where he was sleeping and gently pulled back the curtain. Atticus's face was covered in bruises, his left eye was swollen shut and there was a deep cut on his lip. They had to cut his shirt off of him to look at his ribs. Dark purple burses covered his chest and stomach like someone had kicked him repeatedly. He was a lanky kid so he probably wasn't able to defend himself against someone bigger and bulkier.  
  
Tears pricked my eyes as I sat down on the only stool close to his bed and I carefully pulled the blanket up that he had pushed down. The movement woke him and he groggily opened his right eye, the green of it was dull and unfocused. My poor baby, I wanted to hug him but I was afraid I'd hurt him more.  
  
"Hey sweetie," I whispered, petting his messy, dirty hair back as gently as I could. His eye focused on me then and his breathing became ragged. Hot tears immediately spilled from his eyes as his hand came out and took my other hand.  
  
"Shhh, it's okay. Hey, I'm here," I felt my eyes betray me as I started to cry too. I leaned over and carefully hugged him, kissing the top of his head.  
  
"What happened, sweetie?" I whispered. Atticus's body trembled as he sobbed, gripping my shirt and pulling me closer to hug me. I hugged him tighter back to let him know that it was okay and for a while, all we did was hold each other. After a few minutes, we finally let go of each other and I sat close to him, touching his face lightly with my fingertips.  
  
"R...a..." Atticus opened his mouth to speak, soft sounds coming out. I leaned forward, my ear close to his mouth trying to figure out what he was saying.  
  
"d....l...." he tried again and I frowned, not sure what he was saying.  
  
"Ra? Dl?" I said back and he nodded, more tears welling up and slipping down his bruised face. I wiped them away and I looked him in his good eye. He looked wounded and not just physically. There was an emotional hurt there that I recognized and I sucked in a harsh breath.  
  
"Randall...?"  
  
Atticus nodded once, sobbing hard. Oh, motherfucker...

* * *

To say I was pissed was an understatement. If I had to put a label on how I was feeling, I would probably say somewhere between psychotic and homicidal. I wanted to know exactly what happened in every nasty detail so I could act appropriately like a good parent. I also wanted to relive Atticus's memory but I had no idea if it would hurt him or not and I didn't want to risk it. So I called the mainline and dialed the extension to get to JARVIS.  
  
"Hello Brynn," his British accent attentive.  
  
"Hey, any way you can send a driver to St. Anthony's?"  
  
"Yes, I'll dispatch a car now. Should I alert Mr. Stark for you?"  
  
I hesitated, biting my lip and glancing at Atticus who was wrapped up in a hospital blanket. His cut-up shirt and pain medication in a clear plastic bag sitting next to him in the waiting room. He looked haunted and completely out of it. Sharp, stabbing pains in my chest made me take a small breath.  
  
"I'm surprised you didn't tell him the moment I left," I muttered.  
  
"I have been instructed to only alert him when there is a serious problem. Is this a serious problem that needs his attention?" JARVIS asked curiously. I knew better, for a computer program he was sneaky and compassionate just like a person. I didn't know if anyone else noticed, but he tended to bend the rules slightly here and there.  
  
"No, it doesn't need his attention yet, maybe when the car arrives?"  
  
"The car will be there in ten minutes. I will alert Mr. Stark and the others after it arrives back at the building."  
  
"Thanks, JARVIS, I could hug you right now."  
  
"...You're welcome, Brynn."  
  
The line clicked off and I shoved my phone back in my pocket before walking over and sitting down next to Atticus. He didn't look at me, just leaned towards me and I wrapped my arm around him. He wasn't trembling anymore, but he still felt tense. We sat there surrounded by people coming and going, sounds of heart monitors and doctors giving out instructions. It was noisy and yet, it was perfect for white noise since we were both so quiet.  
  
Ten minutes passed quickly and I recognized the stylish expensive car with tinted windows pull up just outside the entrance. I helped Atticus stand and managed to get him to the car. The driver, a short woman with blonde hair and hazel eyes, dressed in a nice pantsuit gave me a slightly wide-eyed look as she closed the passenger side rear door after I had him situated.  
  
"I'll be back later," I handed the clear back of his cut-up shirt and medications, "Give this to Banner and make sure someone stays with him."  
  
"Ma'am?" Her voice was hesitant and I gave her a sad smile.  
  
"Don't worry about me, just go."  
  
She gave me a brief nod and got back into the car. I watched as they drove away and all that anger I'd been suppressing came flooding back. My skin felt cold as I turned and started walking in the direction of Randall's apartment. Randall was in the same honors class as Atticus and was eighteen years old. They had gotten together shortly after homecoming and I'd met him a hand full of times. He was a big guy, muscular and tall with dark hair and brown eyes. I had no fucking clue what happened and why Atticus had said Randall's name, but I knew he had something to do with it. That look in his eye only came from when people you loved hurt you. I should know.  
  
Come hell or high water, I was going to find out what happened. If I couldn't see his memory I'd scare the shit out of him to get the truth. Probably a grey area as far as parenting went, but I didn't give a fuck.


	20. Everyone Needs Saving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, big warning on this one. There’s a good chunk of violence and abuse. I won’t give anything away, but it ends on a good note. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting! 
> 
> Also, sorry it’s been a bit more dramatic on the writing lately, I’ve been in a mood. 😓

I took the subway because I didn't have any cash on me and I was too pissed off to be afraid of muggers. As it was my body kept getting colder, I didn't know what that meant but I knew it wasn't normal. The tips of my fingers felt like they had fallen asleep with a painful stabbing that shot through my fingers. I gave up moving my hands too much.  
  
The subway car was empty and I let him the rocking of the car try and work out some of the tension in my shoulders. I'd never been to Randall's house, but I knew where it was because I'd saved the address on my phone, just in case anything ever happened and I had to find Atticus. Now I was using it to go kick the shit out of his boyfriend. Go figure.  
  
Twenty minutes passed and my phone started blowing up with text messages and phone calls. I thought about answering them for all of two seconds before I turned my phone off and put it back in my pocket. A dick move for sure, but it wasn't really their problem. It wasn't their kid beaten up with that horrible look in his eye. It was mine. Besides I didn't want to burden them with another one of my problems. I'd had quite a few lately. At least this was one I could do something about.  
  
Finally, I arrived at my stop and I exited the subway. The neighborhood was upper scale but not too expensive. Anyone who made a decent amount of money could afford to live there. All the trees were trimmed and all the sidewalks were pristine. It definitely didn't look anything like where Atticus and I used to live. Though we probably could have lived in a similar place if I wasn't saving every penny so he could go to college.  
  
Randall's apartment was up on the sixth floor of a nice building with two giant rose bushes out front. I stood at the door looking at the buzzer for the apartment. His last name was Kiennan according to the plate next to the button. But that wasn't what had stopped me from pressing it. There was a blood smear just below the listings that looked fresh. There was no way that could be anyone else's blood, it had to be Atticus's.  
  
My whole body felt tight and I'd somehow worked past how cold I was. All the exhaustion I'd been feeling was gone and the tiny voice in my head that warned me about consequences and being a good person got squashed to nothing.  
  
The glass door cracked and shattered inward with a loud boom the moment I touched it with my fingertips. Loki said something about having control over elements, I had no idea how that included glass, but it felt good walking into the moderately decorated lobby with glass everywhere. People started shouting but for some reason, I just couldn't care. My fingertips, since the sharp asleep sensation had started, had moved up, twisting through my arms to my core as I pressed the elevator button. It dinged softly and the door opened with a horrible screech as the building gave a deep groan.  
  
The ride was quick and as I stepped out onto the sixth floor. I could distantly hear people scrambling below and someone shouting to call the police. Whatever, call the fucking police.  
  
There was only one door on the floor and I walked over to it at a casual pace. I wasn't sure why, but my body didn't really feel like mine. Instead, it felt like all that pent up anger over the years and seeing Atticus bruised and bleeding just finally broke something in my head. It was scary, but it wasn't. I felt in control even though a small part of me was scared I wasn't.  
  
I knocked on the door with two steady raps as the building groaned again, this time a crack shot up from the floor to the ceiling by the elevator. I could hear someone stumbling around and approach the door with heavy steps. My mouth eased into a small smile as a large man opened the door. The smell of hard liquor was heavy and he was about three inches taller than me. His shoulders were broad and his body was well-muscled made evident by his bare chest and boxers. He was in his late forties, bald and the same brown eyes I'd seen on Randall. This must have been his father.  
  
"What the fuck do you want?" His voice was hostile and something started to nag at me in the back part of my mind. Dangerous, drunk and dumb. Not a good combo for any man, especially a big guy like this. But there was something else, nothing that I could see just this nagging in my chest that something was wrong.  
  
"Hello, I'm Atticus's mom, Brynn. Atticus hasn’t come home yet and I was just coming to see if he was here? I would have called by my phone is dead.”  
  
The lie rolled off my tongue like liquid silver for the first time in my entire life and it sounded genuine. I didn't even feel guilty for lying either, though I knew exactly what I was doing. The building groaned again, softer than before and a few people dashed down the stairs opposite the elevator and past us. I paid no attention to them and he didn’t either.  
  
“Nope, don’t know him,” his lie wasn’t convincing and I gave him a surprised look.  
  
“That doesn’t seem right. He’s been over here constantly for weeks now. I’ve even had Randall at my house before. Surely you know him,” I pressed.  
  
He gave me a sarcastic look of realization as he tapped his chin.  
  
“Oh, I remember now, the little faggot who tried to turn my son into a fucking gaytard. Jokes on you lady, my son beat the shit outta him like he was supposed to do and I tossed his queer ass out with the rest of the trash.”  
  
I stared at him, the sharp sensation in my chest cutting like razor blades.  
  
“So good luck finding your gay bastard son, stupid bitch.”  
  
He spat in my face, getting me right in the eyes. I didn’t flinch, but I did reach up to wipe it off my face. The door slammed shut and locked with a solid click.

* * *

I recognized the feeling of reliving a memory the moment my vision shifted. Sights and smells had changed, becoming stronger. My lower left side hurt like hell and it took a minute to realize I was shit faced. Correction, Randall's father was shit faced.  
  
I was in his head, seeing what he saw and feeling what he felt just like with Steve. I forced myself to focus on what I was seeing but it was difficult. His vision was all fucked up.  
  
He'd been at the bar for hours now, drinking as many shots of whiskey as he could. Anything to drown out the pain he was feeling and it was a horrible feeling. Anger, regret mixed together in a sour feeling. He'd had a fight with his wife again and ended up slapping her a few times. It wasn't the first time, though it was the last. She'd left sometime after he'd passed out leaving her son with him. He didn't have the heart to tell him that she'd jumped off the Hudson River committing suicide. An old friend from the station had told him.  
  
Why the fuck would she do that? It was a question that he still had no answer to. He wasn't even sure he was his kid, though she had claimed he was. One drunk night after a bad shooting downtown had cost him his partner's life and suddenly he had a pregnant woman on his hands. She probably slept with numerous men, though now that he thought about it, she barely left the house.  
  
When was the last time he saw her smile? Fuck he didn't know, but he did know he couldn't stand looking at her son anymore. He looked too much like his mother. He'd been careful before, making sure the kid never knew how bad things were. He tried to be a good father. But after getting kicked off the force for drinking a few months back, he just wasn't able to control his temper.  
  
He hated himself.  
  
The constant pain in his liver didn’t help anything, it just made it worse. Maybe if he drank enough he’d die before he left the bar.  
  
The scene shifted, flashes of him stumbling to the subway and stumbling home. The kid had been staying out late with friends for a while now. He didn't care really, it made it easier to pass out when no one was there.  
  
Finally, the scene focused and he entered his apartment. The lights were all on, which meant the kid was home. The anger hit hard as he slammed the door shut and yelled out to him.  
  
"Hey fuck head! Who the fuck do you think you are leaving all these goddamn lights on!? Who the fuck do you think pays the bills in this house!?"  
  
He knocked over a stack of the kid's books that were on the table as he stumbled back to the kid's bedroom. There was a lot of noise and he was sure he heard two voices talking.  
  
"Hey! You better not be fucking a girl in my house you little—"  
  
He shoved his shoulder into the door, breaking it and forcing it open. The scene before him shocked him almost sober, almost.  
  
The kid was there, half-naked with a scrawny, thin boy who was also half-naked. It was obvious what this was and it made him sick to his stomach. His son a queer? No, there was no way. This boy, who he kind of recognized was the one trying to turn his own flesh and blood gay.  
  
"D-dad, what are you doing home so early?"  
  
I watched as Randall's face turned white and Atticus slowly backed away, his hands partway up from his unbuttoned pants. My stomach churned as the scene continued.  
  
"Sir, I can explain," Atticus said calmly, but he wasn't hearing any of it. Striding forward he punched Randall in the face, hard enough to break his jaw. Atticus tried to stand in the way, but he was no match.  
  
He shoved Atticus and proceeded to beat Randall. Rage fueled by hard alcohol blurred the lines until Atticus started yelling.  
  
"Stop, stop! If you want to hit someone hit me! It's my fault okay! Please! Stop hitting him!”  
  
"Oh it's your fault alright," he grabbed Randall up by the hair until he was standing.  
  
"If you don't beat him," he pointed to Atticus, "I will and I'll kill him. You better beat him good, or I'll beat him like I beat your fucking mother."  
  
Randall shook his head, blood pouring out of his mouth, "N...no, I won't...”  
  
"Randall, it's okay," Atticus said calmly, soothingly. He was scared, his whole body shaking as he took a timid step forward. "It's okay, I can take it. It's okay."  
  
"Do it!" Randall's father screamed in his ear and shoved him forward. There was a moment where all I could see was Atticus's face, barely visible through the man's drunken stupor. They were sad, apologetic and filled with love. He loved Randall and I saw the resolution in his eyes.  
  
He hadn't said Randall's name because he blamed him, he said his name because he knew I'd come and find him.

* * *

I snapped back into my body like I'd been slapped a crossed the face. The wooden door in front of me groaned loudly and it ripped apart like a piece of paper. There must not have been much of a time gap between the memory and the real world because the asshole was still in the entryway, his partially turned back toward me.  
  
"What the fuck?" He said stupidly and I stepped forward completely focused on him. The whole building began to shake and plaster cracked and fell off the walls and ceiling as I walked. He stumbled back, eyes wide as large piece almost landed on him with a loud bang. Sounds of metal breaking and bending were heard and water burst from the wall hitting him face first.  
  
He gasped, yelling incoherent words and curses. He slipped and fell hard on the wooden floor, the boards springing up and wrapping around his arms and legs like shackles. He struggled harder as I approached and I stood over him, looking down at him.  
  
"Who the fuck...! What the fuck are you!?"  
  
He was scared now but not sober enough for my words to sink in. He gagged as the air was sucked from his lungs, making a horrible noise as the building shook harder. There were several loud crashes as things fell off the walls in the kitchen and more water flooded the floor. The lights cut out and I squatted down over his chest as I grabbed his purple face with my hands.  
  
"If you ever, and I mean ever, lay another hand on anyone out of anger again I will find you." His eyes rolled back and I allowed him to finally breathe. He took deep ragged breaths, desperately trying to maintain consciousness. I slapped his face hard a few times until his eyes focused on me, he was sober now.  
  
"I'm taking your son out of here. I won't keep him from seeing you because regardless of him being your blood or not, whether he likes boys or girls, he is your son. If you hurt him and I find out about it, and I will... I'll be back. Do you hear me you fucking piece of shit?"  
  
He nodded vigorously coughing, still trying to get his breath back.  
  
"Good,” I leaned forward until my face hovered over his, “do not make me come back here.”  
  
His eyes were wide as I held his gaze, his breathing finally evening out. I stood up and I made my way down the hallway to the back bedroom where I knew Randall was. His door was still busted, barely on the hinges, but still closed. I opened it carefully to the dimly lit room. Despite all the damage I'd caused, his room was completely untouched other than the damage caused by his father.  
  
Randall was cowering on the other side of his bed, his eyes too wide and his face bruised. His knuckles were blistered and bloody and he flinched when I squatted down slowly in front of him.  
  
"Hey Randall," I said softly.  
  
"Ms. F-Foster?"  
  
"Good memory," I smiled and held out my hand, "want to come home with me?"  
  
Randall's bottom lip trembled as tears welled up, "I-I beat him, Ms. Foster. I-I'm sorry, I didn't want too. I was scared and I—"  
  
"Shhh, it's okay. We're okay and you're going to be okay. I'm going to take you home with me if you'll let me. Either way, we are leaving this place."  
  
He looked at me for a few seconds before nodding and reached out to take my hand. I stood up and pulled him to his feet, it was surprisingly easy. I pulled his arm around my shoulder when he took a step forward with a limp. We made our way slowly to his door, just before we entered the hallway I stopped and he looked down at me, confused.  
  
"Just so you know, I scared the shit out of your father. He's fine, but try not to be too freaked out when we go out there."  
  
"You scared my dad?" He said surprised.  
  
"Yeah, for the record, I came here to kick your ass," I smiled up at him and he looked down at his feet guiltily.  
  
"Hey, I don't blame you. You get a pass on this one."  
  
"Okay..." He said softly.  
  
We made our way out into the hallway where a river of water, which had been roaring before was now trickling along the floor. Randall's dad was passed out, still shackled by the wood flooring.  
  
Randall stopped and stared, his face a little pale.  
  
"You did this?"  
  
I looked around at the busted plaster, water, fucked-up floor and the door that had ripped itself apart to let me in.  
  
"Yeah, sorry. I promise I'll fix it later. Right now I just want to get you out of here."  
  
"I don't think you can fix this Ms. Foster, no offense."  
  
I chuckled, "Well, I can fix the damage to the building and the apartment, at least I’m pretty sure I can,” I looked up at him, "but I probably won't be able to fix your father. I'll also probably be in trouble for all this but it’s worth it. Come on let's go."  
  
Randall obeyed and we made our way past his father and down the stairs slowly. My body finally started to warm up and the sharp pain in my chest and hands was now gone. I tried to make a mental note as we reached the bottom to ask Loki about it. Maybe I used too much magic? It didn't hurt before when I was doing it without meaning too. Maybe when you use it on purpose it was different?  
  
The security door I'd blown out was already taped off and there was a hoard of police and firemen outside. Pieces of the building had fallen off here and there, but nothing bigger than a basketball. It was lucky I hadn't killed anyone. The guilt at seeing all those scared people hit me hard but I forced myself forward. I was probably going to jail for this. Though, I was pretty sure I could fix the build if they'd give me a few minutes before hauling me away.  
  
"Stop! Let go of the kid and step forward!"  
  
A handful of police officers who weren't holding back the crowd of people had guns out and pointed at me. Randall tensed and I tried to keep calm as I made sure he wasn't going to fall over before I stepped forward.  
  
"Place your hands on top of your head and turn around!"  
  
I did as they asked and Randall gave me a scared look. I gave him a reassuring smile as footsteps slowly approached and someone clicked handcuffs around my wrists. It was probably egotistical of me thinking I'd be able to take him back to the tower with me and Atticus. Tony probably wouldn't allow it with the security and everything, I just hoped that Randall wouldn't be forced to be back to his father.  
  
The officer who cuffed me forced me back around and started to haul me towards a police car. There were a lot of nasty looks and angry faces, which pissed me off. There was no way no one heard what was going on in that apartment tonight. No way they hadn't heard what had been happening in there for a while. If anything, they were the guilty ones.  
  
Another police officer opened the door to the back of the cruiser and forced my head down. I didn’t resist as I was shoved into the back of the car. Someone had given Randall a blanket and he was shouting adamantly at the officer who was asking him questions.  
  
I should have felt scared about being in the back of a police car, but I wasn’t. Randall was a good kid, a gentle giant and I really didn’t feel bad about scaring his father. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Atticus might be upset about me being arrested, but then again he might not.  
  
The door opened next to me, making me jump and I blinked as Loki’s head popped in, a smirk on his face and dressed in an expensive suit. Just behind him, Tony was talking to several police officers and Steve and Thor were talking to Randall, who also had a small herd of police around them. When the hell did they get here?  
  
Loki’s green eyes were practically sparkling and I couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at my mouth. I felt relieved seeing him there, I didn’t know why.  
  
“I leave you alone to finally sleep and you’re out saving not only your own child but someone else’s. Tsk, tsk, what am I going to do with you?”  
  
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, trying to hide my smile.  
  
“I suppose I’ll have to punish you,” he teased and I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Whatever, pretty sure I could take you in a fight.”  
  
He chuckled and his smirk turned into a genuine smile. His hand patted my thigh turning my insides to mush in a second. Seriously, there must be something fucking wrong with me.  
  
“Would you like to go home now?”  
  
“Hell yes,” I said with feeling, “Right after I fix the building. Oh, and we are taking Randall home with us.”


	21. Don’t Get Distracted

It didn't take long for me to be out of handcuffs and for me to fix the building. All that building shaking turned out to be a very localized earthquake that I'd somehow contained just to the building itself. I'd also managed to somehow keep all the damage focused on the sixth floor, besides the security door in the lobby and a few parts of the building outside. A fact that made Loki giddy to no fucking end. Since I couldn't see the damage under the building Loki had to help me learn how to see with magic. This is how I learned I could feel traces of magic as well as users of magic.  
  
There was a big user somewhere downtown, and no I didn't want to know who it was or why I hadn't met them. I got the impression they were very smart and had skilled hands. Don't ask me why.  
  
After that, the rest was a piece of cake and the rest of the residents, neighbors and police officers watched me with a mixture of conflicting emotions. I knew exactly how they felt. Everyone filed back into the building and a good chunk of the police left.  
  
Randall's father was handcuffed and taken away while Randall was getting checked out by EMS. The moment he saw me he turned about three shades of white and practically ran to the police car. Loki had decided to hover by me with a huge shit-eating grin on his face while we watched him.   
  
A social worker showed up to talk to Randall sometime after that. Since he was eighteen he was legally allowed to make his own decision on where he stayed, either with me since I'd be the one taking responsibility for him, or with her where he'd be put into a group home for older kids.  
  
"I want to go with Ms. Foster," Randall answered without hesitation as he grabbed my hand. I gave his hand a quick squeeze in return. Steve was currently helping to hold him up since his knee was swollen and his left arm was in a sling. He'd heal, but his knee would probably be permanently damaged for the rest of his life.  
  
"Very well, Ms. Foster, I'll be in contact with you later once I have investigated. There will most likely be a court hearing and charges brought against Mr. Kiennan will be addressed then. Once we find his mother I’ll let you know," she handed me her business card and left just as quickly as she arrived. Steve and I shared a look and I sighed. The woman had no tact whatsoever, Randall looked conflicted and heartbroken. I didn’t have the watt to tell him his mother had committed suicide, it wasn’t really for me to tell him either. It should come from his father.  
  
"Come on, let's get you in the car," I tugged lightly on Randall's hand and he nodded absently. We made our way back to the limo where Tony and Thor were having a serious conversation.   
  
"—I don't think she's going to have a choice."  
  
I caught the tail end of their conversation and I gave them both a curious look. Tony looked unfazed and looked at Randall who was just a hairs breath shorter than Steve.   
  
"You okay kid?"   
  
"Y-yes sir, Mr. Stark." Randall gripped my hand harder and I gave it another squeeze.  
  
"Okay, okay, come on. In the car, I'm tired. I've got like five years of chocolate chip cookies that I've baked over the last week and I think we all need a half dozen apiece."  
  
Every single one of them looked at me with surprised faces as I opened the limo door and raised my brows.  
  
"Seriously, let's go."  
  
Randall was the first to move, followed by Steve who helped him get situated. I could tell things were still awkward between us and I'd have to fix that soon. Thor followed after Loki and Tony had a staring match of who should go next. Tony eyed Loki as he stood next to me. It was obvious that Tony wanted to talk to me and I tugged on Loki's suit jacket.  
  
"Just get in already," I muttered tiredly. He finally did but not without giving me a look that said he clearly wasn’t happy, and I shut the door to give us an illusion of privacy.  
  
Tony gave me a long look and I sighed defeated, I probably wouldn't get a better chance to apologize.   
"I'm sorry," I said simply as I focused on him, "I know I put people in danger and I know I could have killed someone. I didn't have all the information and I went off again—"  
  
"Like a firecracker?" He interjected and my mouth hung open a bit. Trying to appear less like a big mouth bass and more like a person I closed my mouth and looked down at my hand still in the car door.  
  
"Yeah, like a firecracker,” I mumbled.  
  
"Well," he said lightly, "you're the only person I've ever met that both runs headfirst into things and then fixes the mess made afterward. Not a lot of people can say that about themselves."   
  
I looked up as he chuckled and I smiled.   
  
"So are we good? I mean, I am bringing someone else's kid back to stay with me. That wasn't part of our original deal."  
  
"It's fine, besides your work contract actually says that I'll accommodate any unusual circumstances that arise for you while you live at the tower. There's also a clause in there about world disasters and if you turn into against humanity in case you didn't know."  
  
I blinked at him, "Let me guess, it was in the fine print?"  
  
Tony winked at me and I laughed. After a moment he cleared his throat and looked a little more serious.  
  
"Look firecracker, I don't want to scare you but tonight kind of rang some serious bells regarding the range of your abilities."  
  
I frowned, "So I'm a danger to society now?"  
  
"If that was the case they'd lock us all up and throw away the key, though now that I think about it there have been talks about that before."  
  
I gave him a look and he waved it away.  
  
"There's a guy that is going to be coming tomorrow, his name is Nick Fury. He's the head of an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D. He's the one that kind of put this team together and we work with him to protect the entire planet from...well, pretty much everything that wants to destroy it or enslave it."  
  
"Ok, what's he want with me? I'm not a superhero or a genius scientist. Hell Tony, I've never even been in a war zone like Steve nor am I a literal killer body like Natasha. Even Banner has one up on me, he's a genius and he turns into the Hulk. I'm a nobody."  
  
Tony chuckled and shrugged, "Well, I don't think you can say that after tonight."  
  
I opened my mouth and closed it a few times, before letting out a deep sigh. He was right, goddamnit.  
  
"Is there any way out this? I've got two injured kids to handle and a Principal to call in the morning."  
  
"Sorry firecracker, it's unavoidable."  
  
"Fine, but not before noon or coffee. Those are my conditions," I meant for it to be a joke, but Tony grinned at me.  
  
"No problem, just make sure you sip your coffee as slowly as possible. It's always fun when I can piss him off.”

* * *

By the time everyone had cookies and milk; squeezing in an apology to Steve to make sure we were cool again (and to clear up the kiss); getting Randall situated in the same room with Atticus, who was passed out from heavy pain medication; and a long explanation about what had happened—exhaustion wasn't just a physical feeling it had become a state of mind.  
  
Loki had been hanging around me the entire time so much so that I’d bumped into him several times by accident. While I was annoyed I also kind of just ended up accepting that he was there. I didn't even care when he followed me into my apartment one last time as I checked on the boys. Both of them were passed out, cuddled up together with Randall holding Atticus gently in his one free arm. Loki watched from the doorway as I carefully gave Atticus a kiss on the forehead and stroked Randall's hair softly. I normally wouldn't have let them sleep in the same bed, but hey, I figured after the night we all had, I could bend the rules just a little.  
  
I got up and walked back out, Loki moving out of my way as I closed the door.  
  
"There's something I don't understand," he said quietly as I entered my bedroom. He followed me, closing the door down just enough to hear if the boys had a problem but mostly to keep our conversation from waking them up. It was an automatic gesture that was sweet, even if he didn't realize it himself.  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
"Why take him in? I know he is your son's lover, but he is not your child."  
  
I snickered, "Pretty sure people don't call their boyfriends or girlfriends lovers anymore, Loki."  
  
Digging through my drawers I pulled out a sleeping t-shirt and a pair of clean underwear. The shirt was long enough to cover me and happened to be a pretty purple color that I liked, a rare thrift store find. It took me a minute to realize he was staring at me with a mixed look on his face.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
His thinking face was back and I raised a brow at him, "Seriously, what?"  
  
"You... Nevermind," he looked at the small bundle of clothes in my hands, "Are you going to change?"  
  
"Yeah, you can stay if you want, just turn around," I motioned a twirling with my finger and he smirked at me.  
  
"You're willing to change in front of me?"  
  
"Technically I’ll be changing behind you, but if you're going to act like a perv you can leave."  
  
He frowned, letting out a sigh as he turned around, his back to me. I smiled despite myself as I started peeling off my gross clothes. I was too tired to shower now, I'd have to do it in the morning.  
  
"As for your question, I think it's pretty obvious why I took him in. This isn't about him being my kid or him being my son's boyfriend. It's about doing the right thing. Sometimes it's not always so black and white, but other times, like tonight, it is. He may be eighteen and yes, he's my son's boyfriend, but he's a kid. He doesn't deserve to be abused or treated like he's a freak just because he's not what other people consider normal. No one is normal, everyone is fucked up, everyone has their problems and we are all just trying to do our best to get by."  
  
By the time I'd finished changing, I pulled back the covers, crawling into the bed. It was soft and the sheets smelled like lavender, my favorite scent.  
  
"You can turn around now," I said. Slowly he turned, his eyes wandering over me before drifting back to my face.  
  
We looked at each other for a few seconds and I could tell he didn't want to leave. For some weird reason, I didn't want him to either. I sighed and shook my head.  
  
"I must be fucking crazy," I muttered under my breath as I pulled the covers back on the opposite side. His eyes widened and I gave him a look.  
  
"Don't read into this, I've had a rough night and a shitty week. I don't know why, but I feel more relaxed when you're holding me. So just... don't say a word and get in this bed. Okay?"  
  
Loki looked at me for a moment longer and I raised a brow at him. A second later he slipped off his jacket, loosened his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt. I could feel my heart start to beat harder and I laid down, rolling away from him. I was under the stupid ass impression that if I didn't look at him, maybe I wouldn't feel so self-conscious or so focused on the fact that this was the first time a guy would be sharing my actual bed with me. Not looking at him made it worse though. I'll give him credit, he didn't say a word when he turned off the light and crawled in bed.  
  
He rolled over, sliding up behind me and I tensed until his arm came around my waist and pulled me closer. Relief and the tension I had left me suddenly and my eyes dropped halfway. My skin tingled all over and I took a deep breath. I barely realized that he still had his pants on as he nuzzled into my hair and neck. It felt good and I let out a soft sound of content as he finally settled.  
  
"Goodnight, Brynn...." He whispered and my eyes finally closed. The faint feeling of fingertips tracing circles along my lower belly lulling me to sleep.

* * *

Despite getting some solid sleep I questioned whether I should have stayed up or not. JARVIS woke me up with a soft voice that it was time for my meeting. Loki was still asleep next to me and I downright refused to analyze any part of that. Up to and including how vulnerable and sexy he looked as he slept. His long hair was a mess around him and his bare chest rose with ease in deep breaths. Lean muscle just exposed to open-air than ran down to somewhere below the blankets...  
  
Nope, can't do it. Couldn't do it. I had to look away and I had to get dressed.   
  
I managed, but fuck if I wasn't anxious and questioning my life choices by the time I was done. I also made a mental note to see if Banner knew any good psychiatrists.   
  
Randall and Atticus were still passed out, snuggling with each other. It was a different level of adorable and it made me want to cry, don't ask me why. I think it's just a mom thing.   
  
I made a quick cup of coffee after getting dressed before heading to the elevator. The hallway was quiet, odd really for being after two o'clock. When I thought about it we'd all been up most of the night, sadly because of me. At this rate, I was going to be baking apology cookies until next Christmas.  
  
I let JARVIS worry about the elevator, not because I was too lazy to press the buttons, but because my brain felt too sluggish. A few seconds later the elevator dinged and I stepped out onto the floor where I'd first met Tony. I could see him and another man sitting at the conference table at opposite ends. If body language wasn't a dead give away the overall vibe as I walked in was.  
  
"Hey, sorry I overslept," I said by way of greeting. Tony glanced at me and I got the message loud and clear. He was irritated.  
  
The other man, who I could only assume was Nick Fury. He stood up as I entered and I looked him over. He was tall, but not as tall as Thor or Steve. His bald head was shiny under the lights and the black eye patch he wore suited him. Honestly, I tried to picture him without it and I couldn't. He wore all black, which made his already beautiful dark skin look even darker. He was pretty intimidating just standing there, that long leather coat and all.   
  
His dark eye was calculating as he eyed me back dressed in jeans and a cat t-shirt that had a bleach stain on the sleeve from the first time Atticus learned how to do laundry. We could have been a comedy act by how different we looked. I stepped forward, coffee mug in one hand and my other extended for a handshake.  
  
"Hello, you must be Nick Fury from S.H.I.E.L.D. My name is Brynn Foster."  
  
He took my hand and gripped it firmly as he gave it one quick shake, "I see I need no introduction, good. I can get right to the point."  
  
Letting go of my hand, we both sat down and I took a sip of my coffee.   
  
"I'm here to determine what your usefulness," his voice was clipped and I got the feeling I had already been written off as a science experiment gone wrong. I could feel Tony's eyes on me but I didn't look at him. Instead, I set my cup down on the table, giving Nick my full attention.  
  
"My usefulness?"   
  
"Yes, it's clear that you have a certain amount of control over your environment that borders on telekinesis. The restraint you showed last night shows that you can push the limits just far enough without crossing the line."  
  
When I didn't say anything he continued, "Tony has given me your overall specs and he believes you'll be a great asset to the Avengers team—"  
  
"No thanks," I interrupted him.  
  
Nick gave me a steady look and Tony stifled a snicker behind me.  
  
"I don't think you have much choice if you want to stay with your son."  
  
I stilled and I heard Tony suck in a sudden breath as he winced. If he was implying what I thought he was... I carefully picked up my mug and took a long sip from it. Tony always called me a firecracker because I normally exploded randomly. There was some truth to that, but at the same time, I did actually think about certain things before I opened my mouth. Now it's hard to say if it was because I was tired, or maybe because I just couldn't get Loki's half-naked body out of my brain, but when I set my cup down I turned in my swivel chair and faced Nick Fury completely.  
  
"If you're threatening me by using my kid, I've got news for you. It won't work. If you try to use anyone I care about against me to get what you want, it won't work. I may be a random person who got hit with a giant ass experiment stick, but I'm still me. And I will fuck you up on a personal level if you fuck with my family. That includes everyone in this building."   
  
My voice was level and careful, something in my head was nagging me to not show anger to this man. He worked off secrets hidden in honesty. I got that, but I wasn't going to let him threaten my kid.  
  
"I'm not a superhero, I'm an accountant turned housekeeper. That is why I am telling you no. Not because I wouldn't love to try and help people or save the world, but because I can't even save or help myself. I'm now responsible for two kids again after five years of only having one. I don't expect you to understand," I stood, picking up my cup.  
  
"I promise to do my best and not make trouble for anyone and if there is something I can help repay Tony, Natasha, Thor, Clint, Banner, Steve and Loki for all their kindness to me I'll do it in a heartbeat. But I don't owe you a fucking thing, Nick. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got three men asleep in my apartment, a principal to call, and my coffee needs a refill."  
  
I turned away from Nick who had the best poker face I'd ever seen and gave Tony a little salute with my mug. His face was smug, his eyes filled to the brim with humor as he nodded to me and I made my way back to the elevator.   
  
By the time I got back into the elevator and back to the living quarters, I was irritated. Who the fuck did that guy think he was? Threatening my son like he could force me to do something I clearly wasn't fit for. I wasn't a fucking hero. I was a single mother with a couple hundred, thousand pounds of issues. For example, I was going to have to call the social worker to get a written temporary custody order before I could call the school. And knowing my luck, I'd probably have to go down there and speak to her face to face.  
  
My once casual walk turned into a brisk pace as I neared my apartment. The door opened smoothly and I stopped the second I walked in. My mouth hung open as I stared at the scene before me.  
  
"Jesus, haven't you ever cooked before? Flip it like this, slowly. It's an Omelette, not a beast that needs slaying."  
  
"I told you, I've never cooked before! We had servants that did the cooking. And I don't slay beasts, I'm the God of Mischief and Magic!"  
  
"You're the god of shitty cooking skills and you need a hair cut," Atticus snapped back.  
  
"I hate to say it sir, but you really are helpless," Randall's voice was amused.  
  
All three of them, Randall, Loki and Atticus were huddled around the stove. The Island counter had four plates lined up, three of them had what looked to be some kind of egg, meat and cheese medley. Randall stood on one side of Loki, who was a little taller than him while Atticus, shorter than both of them stood on Loki's other side trying to instruct him.   
  
I couldn't stop my grin as the two injured boys leaned against Loki, it was horribly cute and a picture-perfect moment.  
  
"Okay, now sprinkle the cheese on the top, don't just throw it on there," Atticus blindly handed him a bowl of shredded cheddar and Randall grabbed a nearby lid off the counter, ready to cover it.  
  
"Like this?" Loki asked hesitantly.  
  
"Yes, sir. Now the lid."  
  
Randall handed him the lid and Loki carefully put it on the pan. I leaned against the island counter, watching as Atticus heaved a sigh.  
  
"Dude, you really need to learn how to be more domestic. No woman wants to be swept off her feet by a smart ass who can't even cook."  
  
"And who exactly is Loki going to be sweeping off their feet?" I asked seriously.  
  
All three of them jumped, followed by winces from Randall and Atticus as they turned around. The boys looked guilty but Loki smirked and leaned forward on the island counter, opposite of me. He'd put his shirt back on, but left the top two buttons undone. I forced myself to raise a brow and take a lazy sip of my cold coffee. Anything to ignore his sex appeal.  
  
"Why who else but you, darling?"  
  
I snorted in laughter as I set my mug down, "Please, I don't by that for a second. And you two," I leaned to the side and gave them both a stern look, "Who said you could be out of bed?"  
  
"We were hungry and Loki doesn't know how to cook," Atticus grumbled as he limped towards me and sat down on the stool next to me. He was a little too pale and I gave him a gentle side hug.  
  
"Well, thank you for trying to teach him but I was coming back to make breakfast."  
  
"I wanted to cook too, Ms. Foster. As a thank you for last night. Atticus is better than me at cooking though.”  
  
"That's very sweet of you Hunny, thank you," smiled at him as he blushed slightly.  
  
"Hey," Loki said with irritation, "I'm the one that did the actual cooking."  
  
I chuckled as I leaned forward, close enough to kiss him and stopped, “Alright, fine, thank you for cooking. By the way, your omelet is burning."  
  
It took him a second before he quickly turned and cursed in a language I didn’t recognize as he went for the lid. A giant plume of steam rose up as he grabbed the pan and dumped the omelet on the last remaining plate. It was perfect in color and all melted with cheese, not burnt at all. A textbook omelet.  
  
I laughed way harder than I should have and rested my chin on my hand loving the half scared, half pissed look on his face.  
  
“Rule number one in cooking, don’t get distracted.”


	22. Impending Doom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on a roll today so I'm posting twice! Hoot! 😜

The next three weeks passed like a hurricane on acid. Or at least how I imagined how it would be if a hurricane could take acid. You know, let's just skip the drug metaphors and get to the specifics.  
  
I did manage to get a hold of little miss social worker, whose name turned out to be Janice and who basically didn't give two shits about Randall's case. Not that she didn't do her job, but he was eighteen and there was a whole city full of kids who were worse off. I understood it, but it still pissed me off. She granted me a temporary custody order for him. The principal at the school was completely understanding and faxed me all the necessary paperwork without having to go all the way down there face to face.  
  
A small miracle granted by the fact that Tony had taken it upon himself to arrange transport for the boys to and from school. At first, I refused, but he'd pointed out that they couldn't take the subway in their condition. Once Randall and Atticus found out I had to cave because Atticus guilted me hardcore.   
  
As for the two of them, they were as thick as thieves and while Happy was not at all 'happy' about the new security clearance granted to Randall, he didn't have much choice either. I made a special batch of peanut brittle just for him and had one of the housekeepers give it to him. A couple days later I got a nice card and a small cactus as a thank you. I loved it.  
  
The sleeping arrangements where a nightmare because Atticus insisted on Randall sleeping in his room and I wasn't having it.

* * *

"Why is this such a problem? We're dating and we are taking care of him. He'll be more comfortable in my room anyway."   
  
I raised a brow over the top of my coffee mug as my conversation with Natasha was interrupted by the two of them limping in together. Randall looked super nervous while my charming son glared at me with indignant eyes.  
  
When I didn't say anything he continued to rant at me, fucking Christ the teenage years were hell.  
  
"It's because of our age difference, isn't it? I'm sixteen, soon to be seventeen."  
  
True, his birthday was coming up but that wasn't the reason. Honestly, I didn't care if they shared a room but I wasn't going to give that social worker any reason to take Randall away from us and put him in a group home. I got the impression that would solve a lot of her extra paperwork problems she kept hinting at when I met with her.  
  
"It's really fine, I don't mind sleeping on the couch Ms. Foster," Randall spoke up just as Atticus slapped his hand on the counter out of frustration.  
  
"Mom, he's not sleeping on the couch!"   
  
Natasha was watching with interest and I set my mug down. I leaned forward on my elbows against the counter.  
  
"I'll tell you why you guys can't share a room," I said seriously and I could see them both waiting with bated breath. I gave Atticus a concerned look as I reached out and took his hand.  
  
"I don't know how to say it, so I'll just say it. Hunny, what if you become pregnant? I mean, I love Randall like a son but you're too young to handle the same responsibility I had at your age."  
  
Natasha choked on her coffee as Randall gaped at me. Atticus snatched his hand back as I started laughing, his face turning red all the way up his neck and face. I patted Natasha on the back a few times and handed her a nearby dishtowel.  
  
"Mom!" Atticus groaned in frustration.

* * *

When I finally stopped laughing I explained the real reason. Atticus finally gave up and got down off his soapbox and Randall agreed that he didn't want to give the social worker a reason to take him away either. So for the last few weeks, I had Randall sleeping in my room while I crashed on the couch. It was okay for the most part, but it wasn't the same as an actual bed.  
  
The situation with Loki and I had changed, but I refused to let it go any further than our normal back and forth. It wasn't as mean spirited as before, but more of constant teasing. Before you ask, no he wasn't sleeping on the couch with me. Actually, over the last three weeks, we hadn't so much as accidentally bumped into each other. I was too overly conscious around him so I gave him a wide birth even as he kept following me around. I still didn't understand what I was feeling towards him and I didn't want to know either.   
  
I did ask Banner if he knew a good psychiatrist, a question that rewarded me with a series of questions, and another medical exam conducted by a new medical doctor Tony had hired. Banner had thrown a fit about how his doctorate was in science and not people the night Atticus was dropped off and the driver gave him the bag of his medications.  
  
I didn't hear another thing about Nick Fury since I saw him. Tony couldn't stop talking about how much he loved watching me tell him I'd fuck him up if he fucked with me and mine. He also couldn't stop teasing me about my 'three men' comment, which gave Loki a ton of ammunition. It didn't help that Thor also found this amusing and started asking me all kinds of questions about earth women and their sexual preferences.   
  
Steve and I were cool again. He'd opened up to me a bit more about his old life before his ice sleep and about his best friend, Bucky. The two were really close and My heart went out to him. Along with my morning coffee with Natasha, I'd taken it upon myself to make breakfast for him every morning. At first, it was just Steve, but by the end of three weeks, everyone was eating breakfast and dinner in the community kitchen. Tony brought Pepper a few times when I decided to make lunch. I liked her and we immediately hit it off. She was perfect for Tony and I said as much.  
  
So life began to get back into a nice rhythm again. Which should have been my first clue that all fucking hell was going to let loose. It all started with a nightmare.

* * *

There was an overwhelming feeling of impending doom. It's really the only way I could describe it. I was running, trying to catch up with something I couldn't see but I knew I had the reach. It was getting farther and farther away with every step and I could feel it calling my name.  
  
The ground gave way and I fell, smacking my head hard enough to knock me out. My eyes snapped open a second later and the surrounding darkness was suffocating. I could feel the pulsing of a magic-user somewhere above me and I tried to crawl upward. I could get out though and every time I fell, I fell deeper.  
  
I screamed in frustration trying to reach out with the other, magic part of myself. Just as I felt the, reach out to me I woke up.   
  
As far as nightmares went, it was pretty nondescript for me but I was terrified. Not scared or startled, but terrified. There were several times I'd almost screamed and even more times where something would fall over in the living room. Mostly it was just one thing that kept falling over, the picture of Atticus and River that sat next to the TV.  
  
It was a sign of something, but the nagging feeling that I'd started to associate with my magic wasn't very clear. Normally I got a sense of what it was, but all I ever got was this overly intense feeling. There were a couple of times I ended up with nose bleeds too.   
  
It was right after one of these terrifying dreams that my phone rang the second I woke up. It was the middle of the night and I didn't recognize the number. After a second I answered it, still panting a little as I eyed the picture on the floor.  
  
"Hello...?"  
  
"Hello, Brynn. It's been a while."  
  
I froze, my heart almost stopping at the sound of my sister's voice. It had been so many years since I'd heard it last, but I could pick out that condescending voice anywhere.  
  
"Hello, Catherine. It has been a while."  
  
"I see you still like to state the obvious," she sighed heavily, clearly already tired of the conversation.  
  
"What do you want Catherine? It's late," I purposefully added on the late part as sarcastically as I could. She clicked her tongue into the phone, annoyed.  
  
"Dad passed away a few days ago. The funeral is tomorrow. I'm only telling you because he asked for you to be there and unlike some of us, I actually care about my family."  
  
I'd thought the wound in my chest would have healed after all these years, but her words cut deep right into the center of it and I wasn't strong enough to snap at her.  
  
"Oh and do the rest of us a favor and don't bring them."  
  
The phone clicked off and I sat there, staring at nothing with the phone still held to my ear minutes later. By 'them' she meant River and Atticus. I never did tell them that River had died. I was half hoping I'd never have to go back, expected it even. So the fact that my father wanted me at his funeral was a surprise. It could be a set up for Catherine to make me a laughing stock, which was probably the case.  
  
But despite all that, I still loved them. They were my family whether they hated me or not. The realization of my father being dead finally started to sink in and I pulled the phone away from my ear. I took a ragged breath as the first trickle of blood dripped from my nose.  
  
"Fuck."


	23. River Runs Deep

Everyone has at least one person in their family that they can't stand for various reasons. Those reasons can range anywhere from having a drug problem to being the biggest bitch on the face of the planet. Now, I'm not perfect, as you've seen. I fuck up just as well as the next person, but I do try to fix my mistakes. Being that person in my family makes it so I have no way of fixing it or making my relationship with them better. I've tried, believe me, several times over to try and make them forgive me for being a teenage mother and to make things right between me and Catherine. There are just some things that cannot be forgiven and with my sister also being unable to forgive me, I finally stopped trying when the kids were about four years old.   
  
Her phone call was a slap in the face and a stab in my heart. Time hadn't made the situation between us better like I'd hoped it would. Now I had a choice to make, I could either go to my father's funeral and take the verbal beating I knew was coming or I could skip it and save myself the heartache. I was leaning more towards the latter. I didn't owe them anything, I never asked for a dime from them and I never burdened them with my problems no matter how small or how disastrous. The only thing that was making me hesitate was the fact that my father had asked me to be at his funeral. I had no way of knowing if that was actually true or not, but I had a small bit of hope that maybe he'd forgiven me on his death bed.   
  
I had less than twenty-four hours to decide if I was going to go or not. When I told Atticus about it, his face darkened. I didn't hide anything about my family from my kids. They knew every nasty detail about my childhood and about how they came into the world. To say that Atticus had strong opinions about them was putting it mildly. He didn't know them, but he also knew that anytime I got a call from Catherine, which happened a lot when they were little, I was a wreck for days after.

* * *

"You're not going are you?" Atticus growled as he sat next to Randall at the long kitchen table in the common kitchen area. Breakfast was over and I was enjoying my third cup of coffee. Don't judge me.   
  
Everyone had cleared out after breakfast so it was just the three of us. Randall was considered family now so I decided that it was okay for him to be part of the conversation. A duel purpose really because when Atticus tried to push himself, he started to wheeze. That rib was going to give him hell for another three weeks or more. Randall being present made sure that Atticus had another voice telling him to slow down.  
  
"I haven't decided yet," I sighed, looking into my milky coffee for an answer.  
  
"We're going," Atticus slapped the top of the table and Randall rubbed his back to try and calm him down.   
  
"Hell no you're not, you have school. Not only that but I'm not going to let you watch me get my ass kicked by a bunch of assholes. If I do go, you and Randall are going to school and finish up that engineering project that's due next week," I gave him a stern look and he huffed at me. That project was fifty percent of his grade, he couldn't afford to fuck it up.   
  
"Well you can't go alone," Atticus said seriously, "If you go alone they'll rip into you worse. You need a buffer."  
  
"Sweetie, regardless if I have someone with me or not, they're going to rip into me. It doesn't matter who is with me, they're going to do their best to make me feel as shitty as possible and knowing your aunt, I'll probably have a few humiliating surprises along the way. Having someone there would just expose them to my shitty childhood. No one wants that. Besides, I couldn't possibly ask anyone even if I wanted to. I mean, can you see me taking Natasha? Or Steve? Even I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."  
  
Atticus looked pissed as he shifted uncomfortably. Randall looked concerned as he rubbed his back in long soothing strokes. I reached over and put my hand on Atticus's.  
  
"Calm down, okay? I don't even know if I'm going or not, I've got until this afternoon to figure it out. The funeral is at ten tomorrow morning. If I do go, I'm just going to the service, not the reception after."  
  
Atticus gave me a look like he didn't believe me and I smiled.   
  
"Also, while I'm gone, the bedroom rule still stands okay?"  
  
"Why? Worried we're gonna 'do it' in your bed or something?" Atticus gave me a glare and I sighed again, he could be a real pain in the ass when he wasn't feeling good.  
  
"If you do I am going make a big scene the next time I cook for everyone, complete with moans, banging on the counter and dry humping the fridge." I eyed him dangerously and Randall stifled a laugh. I'll give him credit, he was adjusting to our brand of humor pretty quickly.  
  
Atticus gave me a horrified look and I laughed.  
  
"No worries Ms. Foster, we won't. I know that Ms. Janice could stop by at any time to check on me," Randall spoke up, trying to give Atticus a moment to figure out his next come back.  
  
"That's right, I don't want to have to fight her to keep you here either. Now sweetie, did you hear from your dad?"  
  
Randall frowned and it was his turn to sigh, "No, he uh, doesn't want to walk to me yet. His lawyer says that it's kind of normal for people to cut themselves off for a while. I know I should hate him but..."  
  
"He's your dad and you can't because you love him," I finished for him and he nodded.  
  
"Yes, and even though he might not like my choices, I think deep down, he loves me too."  
  
I nodded, "I think he loves you too Hunny, he's just...hurting, angry, scared. But, and I'm only saying this so you don't set yourself up, he may never get over the fact that you're gay sweetie."  
  
Randall looked a little sad and dammit if I didn't feel shitty about it. But I have always based my parenting on truth rather than smoke and mirrors. It might hurt to hear, but you were better off for it.  
  
"I really thank you for helping me. I...I was really scared. I still am, but not so much."  
  
I felt my eyes prickle and I rubbed them vigorously, "Ah Randall, don't make me cry. I look like an old woman when I cry, next subject please."  
  
Randall chuckled as Atticus drew his attention with a look. I didn't pay much attention because my eyes were still watery and I was desperately trying to cover it up by taking a sip of my coffee.   
  
I could feel Atticus's eyes on me and I looked at him, a slow grin spreading across his face. Uh oh...  
  
"I think you should go," Atticus declared and I blinked at him with wide eyes.  
  
"Uh, I'm sorry, what? Why?"   
  
"You should take Mr. Loki with you, Ms. Foster," Randall said in agreement and I just about had a small stroke right there.  
  
I burst out laughing, "What!? Hell no, I'm not taking Loki to my father's funeral. Are you nuts?"  
  
"Seriously mom, you should take him with you," Atticus began counting the reasons off on his fingers, "He's good looking, egotistical, he's confident, he's a demigod and he's a prince. I mean, if nothing else they'd focus on him instead of you just for those reasons."  
  
"You also li—" Randall stopped mid-sentence when Atticus shot him a look. "—I mean, he doesn't really get to ever leave the building so it would be good for him. He's also the only one who never seems busy."  
  
I raised a brow at both of them, what the hell? Where the fuck was this coming from all of a sudden. Before I could ask, Loki sat down beside me far too close startling me. I leaned away from him as he fixed his bright green eyes on mine.  
  
"I'd love to go with you and I don't mind being a buffer," his voice was serious but he ruined any effect it had by giving me a sexy smile. Something tightened low in my abdomen and I snorted.  
  
"Hell no, you can't go," I glared at Atticus, he knew Loki was behind me hanging out in the entryway to the common kitchen. He had to, that was the only reason he said that.  
  
"Why not? I'd love to meet your family."  
  
"No, you wouldn't," I said flatly as Randall and Atticus both watched us with intense eyes.  
  
"Don't you have some kind of superhero stuff to do? Maybe some big bad mischievous plan that needs doing or something?"  
  
"I do have things to do, like you, if that's what your asking," he smirked.  
  
I almost spit my coffee out. Randall had covered his mouth trying to stifle a laugh as Atticus let loose a huge grin. My face was completely red and I set my cup down hard enough to slosh it around.  
  
"You're so not helping," I glared at him and he smirked wider.  
  
"But aren't I? You stopped thinking about your deceased father long enough to blush. I think I'm massively helpful."  
  
"He has a point," Atticus chimed in and I could have kicked him.  
  
"Hush you," I growled before looking back at Loki.  
  
"Look," I forced myself to calm down by taking a deep breath, "You and I both know Tony and Thor are never going to let you go, even if I wanted you to. Fuck, I don't even know if I'm going."  
  
"So you're saying that if I get permission like a child from the two of them, I may accompany you to your father's burial. That is if you decide to go."  
  
I frowned, the way he said that made me think there was a catch in there somewhere. The very thought of just the two of us alone with absolutely no place to run or hide was scary and also exciting. Oh my god...I had some serious issues. Not willing to fall into his trap, I decided to make it harder for him.  
  
"No, I'm saying if you get everyone to agree that you can go by signing a sworn statement, notarized AND your brother comes to me with that piece of paper saying you can go; that I'll agree to go to the funeral and agree to let you come with me. No using magic though, you have to legitimately do it or no dice. You want to come with me? Put your money where your mouth is."  
  
Randall and Atticus looked at each other with worried looks, they knew how tall an order that was just not being allowed to use magic. I had slowly become aware that Loki used small amounts of magic all the time, I could sense it. I also wasn't stupid, he'd con his way into a board meeting run by house cats if he thought he could get something out of it. I also didn't think Loki really wanted to go with me, I mean seriously, what could be more boring than going to a man's funeral who you didn't know?  
  
Loki didn't look fazed in the slightest, instead, he smiled a wicked smile as he leaned towards me. He was so close I could feel his breath tickle my face and the sensation threatened to make me blush again.  
  
"Challenge accepted, darling."  
  
Shit.

* * *

"How is it that you know how to drive a car again?"  
  
Loki smirked as he navigated the New York traffic like he'd lived here all his life. He even knew the intersection change that came out of nowhere that put us on the highway towards upstate.   
  
"Our father brought us to Midgard several times during our childhood at various points during your planet's history. We were required to know the customs of the planet and how to function in it. I just took to it a little bit better than my brother."  
  
"Our planet's history? What the hell does that even mean?" I frowned. He glanced at me as we settled in for our six-hour drive.  
  
"I may look to be in my early thirties, but I'm well older than you."  
  
"Oh please, you don't look a day over twenty-seven," I scoffed.  
  
"Try a few hundred years, give or take."   
  
I stared at him in surprise and then it clicked that there was a reason he was mentioned in not only Norse mythology but every single other mythology or religion. Every culture had a different name for him or knew of him and had written stories about him. Sometimes it varied; sometimes the hero, sometimes the villain but always doing whatever he wanted.   
  
I closed my open mouth and tried to look somewhat less dumb. However, that posed the question as to why he kept teasing me and trying to kiss me. Surely over hundreds of years of being alive, I'd be the least interesting person he'd ever met?  
  
Loki didn't add anything else and I was left sitting on the passenger side trying to figure out an answer to that question. Then I decided that really I was just trying to ignore the fact that the only reason we were in this car was that he fucking got every single person, including Tony, to agree to let him come with me.   
  
It was like some kind of weird setup or something, I didn't even know how he managed to convince them. One thing was for sure, he hadn't used any magic. I tried to sense for any trace of it on the letter agreeing in very legal verbiage that he was okay to leave the city. There was even an added line about how I was responsible for him while he was outside the city. Scary words when I really thought about it. He hadn't even tried to use an illusion of Thor to hand me the paper. Thor had given me a gentle pat on the shoulder in sympathy when I gave him a wide-eyed look.   
  
Now that a few hours had passed, I wasn't really that surprised. For reasons I didn't know, he really wanted to come with me. I swore to God that if this was a trick to have sex with me, I was going to be pissed.  
  
"So tell me about your family," he prompted after an hour of long silence.  
  
I sighed, taking my eyes off the passing smaller outside towns and the small patches of trees here and there.   
  
"I supposed it's only fair to warn you," I mumbled, trying to think of the best way to explain it.   
  
"They hate me, which is pretty straight forward. I slept with my sister's crush, which I didn't know at the time and ended up pregnant. My parents saw me as a failure and a whore and my sister thought I had betrayed her trust. She found about it after I found out I was pregnant. I didn't even know that they had slept together a week later. Hell, I didn't even know they had a thing going on. My sister and I were never that close, though she'll be the first to tell you differently. I suspected something was up though because he stopped talking to me at school. After that, it was mutually decided I'd move out and fend for myself. Sixteen years later here I am."  
  
"I see..." He said softly, his brow creased, "I don't understand how you 'mutually' decided you'd move out though."  
  
"Well, they didn't want to pay for my 'mistakes' and I decided they shouldn't either. I didn't want to burden them. Though now what I really sit down and think about it, they never liked me and always tried to belittle me or blame me for every problem."  
  
Loki grew quiet and I suddenly felt bad for spilling all my family crap on him.  
  
"Sorry, look, the only thing you really need to know is that they're probably going to say some shitty things to me and they'll probably try to goad you into trying to defend me. No matter what happens, don't. Don't defend me, don't try and step in. Just let them do whatever and we'll get through this. All I really want to do is say goodbye to my father and get the fuck out of there."  
  
Loki looked at me then, expertly driving without looking at the road. There was a glint in his eye as he smiled at me. It made my heart beat faster and I felt like there was more to that look than what I was seeing.  
  
"I can't do that, but I'll assess the situation and then act accordingly, okay darling?"  
  
His voice was low, yet smooth and I felt a blush creep up my neck. I didn't really know what he meant by that, but I couldn't seem to do much more than a nod.  
  
"Okay..."

* * *

We arrived at the small motel just before ten at night and checked in. Loki was inspecting everything either out of scrutiny or curiosity, I wasn't sure which. After getting our room keys Loki followed me back outside and down to the far end of the walkway to our room.   
  
Inside the room was sparse but clean and I set my bag on one of the two beds. I managed to find the cheapest motel that was close enough that we wouldn't have to wake up super early. I had a feeling I was going to have another nightmare tonight. I still had to dip into Atticus college fund just a little to cover the room though. I'd be able to put it back with my next paycheck, so it wasn't too bad.  
  
Loki eyed the two beds as I unpacked my bag and busied myself to get everything just where I wanted them. It was a good distraction from the growing tension in my stomach now that we were here. I wasn't looking forward to this at all and I could feel when Loki's focus shifted to me. Once that happened I realized how nervous I was to be alone with him.  
  
In a motel room...  
  
With no distractions...  
  
Just when I could feel my chest start to tighten, I forced myself to sit down on the bed with my back to him. My emotions were all over the place and I wasn't able to keep any of them straight. Aside from the upcoming funeral and Loki, I had no idea what tomorrow would bring. There was a lot of bad blood between me and my family. I always felt so alone and now Loki was here. Practically forcing me to take him with me. He wanted to be here with me and I didn't know why. Yet, A part of me was so relieved that he had. He somehow made me feel like everything would be okay. A dangerous feeling.  
  
Loki came and sat down next to me and I was too scared to look at him. How could I hate someone that made me feel... Fuck, I couldn't explain this feeling. It felt like I was being eaten away between wanting to hate him and wanting to depend on him. I couldn't afford to trust him, or anyone for that matter.   
  
He reached over and gently moved my hair off my neck. His fingers brushed along my skin for a moment and I shuddered. His other hand came up and slid against my neck, turning my head so I would look at him.  
  
My insides felt like liquid immediately and I still felt like I was wound too tight.  
  
"What are you doing?" I whispered, my voice not having any strength.  
  
He watched my face with his intense eyes and it was too much to take. I couldn't look at him. I had to say something because I could feel my sense of self slipping away and it scared the shit out of me.  
  
"Loki, I've wanted to say something to you for a long time."  
  
He didn't say anything and I forced myself to continue. "I...I hate you."  
  
"I know," he said softly and I finally was able to look at him. He was stroking my cheeks and neck with his fingers and the sensation was making my skin feel hot. It was gentle, kind and my heart felt like it was going to break. Maybe if I told him about River he'd leave me alone and I wouldn't have to feel like this anymore. There was a terrifying thought that I didn't want him to leave me alone and my breathing became shaky. I had to tell him about her. I couldn't let, whatever the hell this was, keep going without saying it, because I wanted to be honest. I wanted him to... I just...  
  
My mouth opened and before I had a chance to really think about what I was doing I told him.  
  
"You killed my daughter. Her name...was River. She died during the attack in New York five years ago. That attack that you s-started... Our apartment was destroyed... She pushed Atticus out of the w-way, a-and she... She got pinned by a-a....steel rod... She died... Because of you...."  
  
Tears welled up and I could stop the sobs that escaped me. I felt his hands still against me as I squeezed my eyes shut. Before I knew it, I was full-on crying. My shoulders were shaking and when Loki pulled me close I cried harder. My hands grabbed his shirt as I tried to quiet my wailing, but a flood gate had been opened and I just couldn't stop. I never really cried for her loss, because there never seemed to be anytime too.   
  
I always had to keep moving, keep surviving. You can't mourn and survive, you have to choose. At the end of the day, I choose to survive and keep me and Atticus going. It hurt to say those words out loud to him and I didn't know why. I didn't even understand why I had told him now. But he didn't run away or say a shitty comment or even sneer at me.   
  
Instead, he held me harder and rested his chin on my head.  
  
"I know..." He said softly, "I know..."


	24. Behind The Scenes: Atticus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, so another filler chapter, sorry!
> 
> I haven't worked out all the kinks for the upcoming funeral yet so I figured I'd write Atticus. This shows a little bit more about him as a son as well as his intelligence. 
> 
> Also there's some steamy bits in there because I just kind of felt like it. 
> 
> Hopefully you guys don't mind. ^_^
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, leaving comments, leaving kudos and bookmarking. I really appreciate it. 😘

Atticus couldn't seem to get his brain to focus on the designs for his energy field compressor. He was positive that the energy signatures found in all living things could be focused down to a common element. Much like how atoms made up everything but instead would focus on the energy tracings found at the very core of every atom. If he could somehow figure out the math correctly he'd be able to build a testable prototype that would allow him to pull that energy out. The applications were massive and the energy output would be a clean energy source that would cut the pollution to the planet down by over half.  
  
A pretty impressive theory for a sixteen-year-old.  
  
That is if he could fucking figure out why the fuck his math was being an asshole. Okay, so maybe he was feeling a bit burnt out and maybe his ribs were bothering him. Maybe he was worried about his mom and maybe he was worried about Randall.  
  
It had been a week since his mom had gone and kicked the shit out of Randall's dad. Technically she had scared the shit out of him, but it was still pretty effective. Randall had been getting beat up pretty regularly for the last few weeks after his mom bailed. Well, she bailed and ended her own life.  
  
Randall was devastated when they found out. It hadn't taken much to hack into the NYPD CCTV cameras and not much more to pull up the coroner report on a Tammy Kiennan. That was how they found out that his dad knew his mother was dead. He’d signed the identifying paperwork.  
  
They hadn't gone back to his father's apartment that night. Instead, Atticus used some of his tutor money he’d saved and gotten them a room at one of the smaller motels in his old neighborhood. That had been a rough, emotional night.  
  
Atticus knew all about unresolved grief. To this day he still couldn't get his head around his sister pushing him out of the way when their apartment got destroyed.  
  
Atticus slowly stood, wincing and groaning as he shuffled out of his bedroom and into his mom's room where Randall was taking a nap. His face was looking better, but the bruising on his jaw was still ugly. He looked peaceful and Atticus felt his heart give a tight squeeze as he gently touched his hair.  
  
Randall was a sweet guy. Tall, handsome, and the epitome of a gentle giant. He was easy going and had a simple way about him. Literally, everything that Atticus knew he lacked. Atticus used to be like that, sensitive, but he had to really toughen up once River died. He knew he was kind of a fucked-up person, but Randall made him better. Made him feel like he'd found all the pieces of himself that he'd been missing.  
  
He loved him, unconditionally and without fear. It really hurt him that he wasn't able to protect him from his abusive piece of shit father.  
  
Randall opened his eyes groggily and sat up as quickly as his body would allow.  
  
"Hey, you okay?"  
  
He sounded worried and Atticus couldn't stop the smile that tugged at his mouth. He was cute when he was worried. He sat down on the bed and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Randall blushed, looking more awake.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed a break from my project."  
  
Randall nodded, "Still having an issue with the math?"  
  
"Yeah, I can't seem to get it worked out and it's pissing me off.”  
  
"Need me to look at it?"  
  
Atticus let his eyes roam over Randall's broad shoulders, clearly defined even with his shirt on. It gave him other ideas that were by no means associated with fucking math. Without saying anything, Atticus reached over and let his hand slip under Randall's shirt to the hard muscle underneath. Randall was intelligent with an athlete's body and Atticus couldn't get enough of him.  
  
Randall shuddered and Attics smirked, kissing him. He needed a good solid make-out session, it would help clear his head.  
  
Randall groaned deeply as the kiss deepened and his hands came up to grip the back of Atticus's neck, pulling him closer. Atticus winced as his ribs protested and he cursed.  
  
"Ow, fucking shit."  
  
Randall immediately let go and frowned, worry and concern creasing his features.  
  
"I'm sorry, are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."  
  
Atticus sighed, the pain throbbed and the mood was ruined. Randall kissed his forehead and scooted over to make room for him. Slowly, Atticus crawled into the bed and cuddled up next to Randall. Once settled, Randall wrapped his arm around him and they laid there comfortably for a little while.  
  
"I've been thinking," Randall broke the silence, "that your mom has a thing for Loki."  
  
"She does, she just doesn't know that's what it is. She's never been out on a date as far as I know and she once told me she refuses to put me through the whole 'stepdad' thing."  
  
"And that doesn't bother you? Her liking him, I mean."  
  
Atticus thought about it for a moment and shook his head.  
  
"No, it doesn't bother me. I can tell she's hung up about liking him because of River though. River would never want her to be miserable and unable to find someone who loves her because she died. I'm sure of it. I'm not really sure what Loki's end game is though. Does he really want to be with her or does he just want to sleep with her so he can put that notch on his bedpost? I mean, there's a certain amount of desire when someone refuses you repeatedly. Makes you want to sleep with them more."  
  
Randall made a humming noise in agreement, "I think he actually likes your mom."  
  
"I'm not so sure about that one. He's a trouble maker and likes to mess with people. It could be just because he's bored," Atticus frowned slightly, he hoped that wasn't the case.  
  
"We should figure out a way to tell if he really likes her or not. I don't want to see her get heartbroken because he wasn't serious," Randall murmured.  
  
Atticus's brow furrowed in deep thought. There was really only one way to know if the guy was serious or not.  
  
"Come on, let's go," Atticus said, slowly sitting up before standing. Fuck his ribs were killing him. Randall followed him, a steady presence behind him.  
  
"What are we going to do?"  
  
"We're gonna go fucking ask him."

* * *

It took less than thirty seconds to find Loki, who was currently reading in one of the chairs in the common living room area. It was a book about cooking and Atticus had to make sure his face didn't give away his thoughts. Looks like the hard time he'd given him about being more domestic was sinking in. Good.  
  
The moment Loki saw them approach, he quickly stuffed the book next to him and gave them a blank look.  
  
"Hello," he said as Atticus pulled up and chair next to him and Randall sat on Loki's other side.  
  
Loki smirked, clearly not intimidated by their boxing in tactic.  
  
"Hey, do you like my mom?” Atticus cut right to the chase.  
  
Loki blinked and it was clear he caught him off guard. Atticus kept his face blank as Randall nodded.  
  
"We deserve to know if you like her or not."  
  
"Oh? And why do you deserve to know exactly?" Loki eyed Randall and Atticus raised his brow.  
  
"Because she's my mother and she deserves to be happy. If you really like her, I'll help you out. But if you're just looking for a fun time because you're bored or you're looking for a way to use her to do some fucked up shit, I'll step in and fuck up your chances of getting any closer to her."  
  
Loki looked at Atticus with a calculated look, which clearly said he was weighing his words. It was a good sign that he hadn't answered immediately, it meant Loki might actually have feelings for her.  
  
A long few minutes passed and Loki frowned slightly, "I will say that she...interests me."  
  
"Come on, don't play coy. You're not good at it. Either you genuinely like her for who she is and you want to actually be with her or your a horny demigod who’s lost his capacity for emotion."  
  
Loki narrowed his eyes, a dangerous look in them.  
  
"Which do you think?”  
  
"Mr. Loki," Randall said tentatively, "We care very much about Ms. Foster. We want her to be happy and right now she seems confused.”  
  
Leave it to Randall to play good cop and smooth over the sudden tension. Loki rose a brow at Randall while Atticus spoke up.  
  
“Look, I know my mom likes you even if she doesn’t realize it yet. I just want to know if you like her too.”  
  
All three of them grew quiet and Loki’s brow furrowed after a moment. It looked like he was about to say something, but he stood, grabbing his book and walking away. His silence basically said way more than words would have. Atticus smirked and Randall sighed.  
  
“So, how do you want to set them up?” Randall asked. Atticus looked mock surprised.  
  
“Why Randall, whatever are you talking about?”  
  
Randall chuckled, running his hand through his hair. Atticus leaned back in his chair, wincing as his ribs protested the movement.  
  
“The great thing is we won’t have to. We just need to wait.”

* * *

Atticus couldn't have hoped for a better set up, than if he actually planned it himself. He didn't necessarily like tricking his mother but damn it all if she wasn't the most stubborn woman on the planet. A small fact that made everything fall together like dominos.  
  
He didn't really care that his grandfather had died, he'd written that whole family off a long time ago. But when he saw Loki's shoe peeking out comically from the entryway to the common kitchen he just couldn't let the opportunity pass. He caught Randall's attention and motioned towards the entrance. Randall looked and then gave him a quick nod.  
  
Game fucking on.  
  
It played out so much better than he'd hoped and he barely was able to keep his face straight. Watching them go back and forth with Loki teasing her and her face blushing uncontrollably was like watching a romantic comedy. If he really thought about it when she first saw him she kicked him in the balls. That classified as a meet-cute didn't it?  
  
He forgot one minor thing though, his mother wasn't stupid.  
  
"No, I'm saying if you get everyone to agree that you can go by signing a sworn statement, notarized AND your brother comes to me with that piece of paper saying you can go; that I'll agree to go to the funeral and agree to let you come with me. No using magic though, you have to legitimately do it or no dice. You want to come with me? Put your money where your mouth is."  
  
After she got up and walked away from the three of them, they sat there in silence. Loki looked at them while Atticus sighed.  
  
"How are we going to get everyone to agree? No offense Mr. Loki but you don't have a lot going for you with the others."  
  
Loki shrugged like he didn't care, but Atticus could already see the wheels turning. He was going to use magic and that would just ruin his plans. Not that he really wanted his mother and Loki to get together, but he already accepted the fact that it was a possibility.  
  
"You're not really thinking about using your magic to try and trick her right? She can sense magic now," Atticus followed it up with a look of, 'you taught her how to do that you jackass.'  
  
"Then what would you suggest?" Loki sounded irritated and Atticus gave him a bored look before looking at Randall.  
  
"Is he really this dense?"  
  
"I think maybe he doesn't trust himself," Randall replied. Loki looked pissed now like he was the punch line to a bad joke.  
  
"Mr. Loki, how about you just ask them?"  
  
Randall to the rescue again, dropping the tension down with his innocent charm. God, he could kiss him right now.  
  
"Just...ask?" Loki's face looked like he swallowed something disgusting and Atticus sighed, getting up from the table.  
  
"Come on, we'll help."  
  
Randall got up as well, his earnest eyes echoing his big goofy smile. It made Atticus blush a little and he ignored the curious look Loki gave him. Once those two were on the road he was going to make out with Randall for hours as punishment for making him blush in front of the demigod.

* * *

"No," Tony said between passing a glass tablet to Banner and doodling a design for something on a larger piece of glass. The digital design was smooth and Atticus had to force himself to focus on the matter at hand, there'd be time to geek out later.  
  
"Mr. Stark it's my grandfather's funeral, my mom needs to go but she needs someone to go with her."  
  
"And she wants to take Loki? I don't buy that for a second," Tony had his back to him as he zoomed in and flipped the design.  
  
"She doesn't want to take him, she needs to. Her family is a bunch of rich assholes who disowned her because of me and my sister. She needs someone to take the heat off of her a little. Otherwise, we are going to all suffer." Atticus explained as Banner glanced at him.  
  
"So why is she going then?" Tony absently asked. Banner stood up after looking back at the tablet and walked over to Tony. Swiping the design he had come up with onto the bigger glass, which hand the two designs lay over each other. Something was missing about the design and it stuck out like an eyesore. The two were speaking in hushed tones about what the problem was.  
  
Atticus was starting to get irritated that no one was really paying attention to him. He'd tried for diplomacy but that wasn't working. A thought popped into his head and he smirked.  
  
"Look, my mom has the hots for Loki and I think Loki is into her. Let them go to the funeral together and I'll point out the flaw in your design."  
  
Tony and Banner looked at him then, Banner with raised eyebrows and Tony chuckling.  
  
"You don't even know what it is, nice try kid."  
  
"It's a new nuclear thermal scanner, right? For your suit, so you can get the lay of the land under structures and can penetrate at least four miles down."  
  
Tony and Banner both stilled and Atticus walked over to the digital design. It took less than thirty seconds to draw the focusing sonar. It took about a minute longer to scribble the math next to the design and an arrow that blinked as it pointed to his addition. When he was done Banner took off his glasses and gave Tony a pat on the shoulder in sympathy.  
  
"Now it can penetrate ten miles down and pinpoint electrical signals that are associated with man-made devices," Atticus explained and Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly.  
  
As if on cue, Randall entered with Loki and Thor trailing behind him with a piece of paper. He was smiling brightly and Atticus felt his heart give a little flip. He needed to focus.  
  
Atticus took the legal paper that he had whipped up on his computer and handed it to Tony, who looked it over carefully. Everyone else's signatures were already on it.  
  
Tony looked at Thor, ignoring Loki almost completely, "Seriously, you think this is a good idea?"  
  
Thro shrugged and Tony sighed, grabbing the pen out of his shirt collar and scribbling on it before passing it to Banner. Banner signed as well and Atticus handed it to Thor.  
  
"I now know why I don't have kids," Tony muttered and Banner nodded in agreement.  
  
"Agreed."

* * *

"Think they're okay?"  
  
Randall sounded worried as Atticus sat down on the couch next to him in nothing but a pair of sleep pants. He'd taken a pain killer about an hour ago and he was finally not hurting so much anymore. With the help of a hot shower, he felt even better.  
  
"It's hard to say. Either mom has broken down and is an emotional mess right now or she's trying to act normal like everything is fine, it's hard to say."  
  
Randall seemed anxious and he furrowed his brow as he flipped through the channels. In all honesty, he too was worried. He was worried that maybe him plotting might destroy the delicate relationship that had been growing between the two of them, but fuck, it was just getting too painful to watch. Someone needed to rip that bandaid off.  
  
Randall bit his lip, a clear sign that he was thinking too much and Atticus felt his brain switch from worry to other things. He reached over and ran his fingers through the back of Randall's soft brown hair. He shuttered and turned to look at him. Atticus pulled him towards him and Randall grunted in surprise when his lips pressed against his.  
  
It didn't take long for Randall to push him down gently into the couch. Atticus felt his skin flare as Randall ran his big hands over his hips. Now that his mom wasn't around he didn't have to worry about her or worry about getting interrupted.  
  
Atticus gasped, letting out a soft moan as Randall kissed and bit his neck teasingly. Once Randall got going his mild manner demeanor went out the window and he became a strong, hot presence with tight control. Atticus loved making him lose that control. Teasing him earlier had made Randall's need simmer all day, he saw it in his dark eyes before he kissed him.  
  
It was clear this had the potential to go further and Atticus could feel his body practically burn for that. Despite what others might have thought, they never went beyond making out. Technically, it wasn't going against his mother's rule because they weren't in a bedroom.  
  
Randall kissed down his chest and caressed the bruise on his side tentatively. Atticus let out a soft sound that was somewhere between want and pain. It felt good and Randall slid his hands lower.  
  
The last coherent thought he had was that he hoped Loki wouldn't screw up his chance to make his mom happy.


	25. Temptations, Being Handsome, and Underhanded Shit

Now before we get back into my emotional breakdown, I'd like to point out that one thing tends to lead to another. A given I'm sure, but sometimes that one thing leads to something so far off the normal thought train you literally have no idea how the fuck you got there.  
  
This was one of those moments.

* * *

I pulled back from Loki enough to look at him. I'm sure I looked terrible, but he smiled gently at me and wiped my tears with his thumbs. Something he said came back to me and I blurted it out before I had fully processed it.  
  
"Why did you say, 'I know'?"  
  
Loki's hands stilled for a moment and he looked a little uncomfortable. He grew quiet and I sat up finally. I tried not to feel too embarrassed about the big ass wet mark from my tears on his shoulder. Jesus, was that a hint of snot? Before I could slip into full mortification Loki fidgeted, speaking carefully.  
  
"Do you remember when you accidentally saw the memory of me and my father?"  
  
"Yes," I said, grabbing a few tissues from the nearby bedside table. Loki hesitated as I wiped my eyes and nose before continuing.  
  
"Do you remember anything before that?"  
  
"Well, I remember reliving every shitty thing that happened to me, why?" I blew my nose, god my head hurt from all the crying. I kind of felt better though.  
  
"Under certain circumstances and situations, sometimes there is...a transference that can occur that can’t be controlled by either one. It’s rare, but it does happen.”  
  
I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. He visually cringed and looked away from me. My heart clenched as the meaning of those words set in.  
  
"I didn't expect to be brought into your memories and under normal circumstances that wouldn't have happened. But I saw what happened to your daughter..."  
  
Loki trailed off, finally looking towards me but not in my eyes. I continued to sit there staring at him. If he saw that then he probably saw the rest of my memories. I didn't know how I felt about that, but there was this indescribable feeling that pulled at me. It wasn't like the nagging in my head that had been ghosting me all week, this was something else and it had been getting stronger for a while.  
  
"I am responsible for her death, you are correct. You should hate me. I know that I’ll never be forgiven, but I am truly sor—"  
  
I don't know why, but I reached out and slipped my hands along the base of his neck. The moment I touched him that feeling in my chest doubled and I watched as his eyes grew wide with surprise. Without hesitation, I pulled him forward and kissed him. He tensed for a split second before kissing me back.  
  
I knew he was going to apologize, but I didn't want to hear it. Something inside me urged me on, whispering to me that the only way I'd know for sure if he meant his apology was if I touched him.  
  
The kiss grew deeper in an instant and before I knew it he pushed me down onto the bed caressing my neck with his fingertips. A moan slipped out from him as I ran my fingers through his silky black hair. He reached up and took my wrist, pinning it over my head as his tongue teased the inside of my mouth passionately. The more he touched me the hotter I felt and a wash of emotions came over me. It was so overwhelming it took a moment to realize they weren't from me, but him.  
  
Regret, sadness, deep loneliness mixed with burning need jumbled together in confusion. He knew what he wanted and it scared the shit out of him. He wanted something from me but whatever it was, was too buried to be recognized. In the next moment, it was gone as he pulled away.  
  
We were both panting heavily as our gazes locked. His green eyes had dark flecks of gold in them, a black ring surrounding his irises.  
  
"I need to stop. We should stop," his voice was husky and I felt my brain finally kick in. Yeah, this probably wasn't a good idea.  
  
"Yeah, we should," I said breathily. It dawned on me that we had somehow ended up with me under him and his knee between my legs. Loki noticed as well and a cocky smirk tugged his mouth. I blushed hard and his smirk grew wider.  
  
"Or I could keep going," he let his thumb rub over my jumpy pulse in my wrist and I shuddered.  
  
"Please," I said breathily, a shudder coming over me. For the fucking life of me, I had no idea what I was saying please for. He kissed my lips one more time before moving off me and standing.  
  
I sat up slowly, still blushing and I looked at him feeling anxious all of a sudden. I was the one that kissed him and now I was the one looking like a shy hot mess. Loki took it in stride and smiled at me, it was soft and I'd only seen it one time before but it made my heart start pounding all over.  
  
"Get some sleep, I'm going to take a long shower."  
  
"Why?" I asked stupidly. He gave me a look as he glanced down casually and I followed his glance. There was a rather large bulge in the front of his pants and I covered my face with my hands as I looked away.  
  
He chuckled and I waited till I heard the shower start up before I brought my hands down.  
  
"Holy shit," I whispered to myself, "I think...I like him..."

* * *

The realization that I actually liked Loki was a hard pill to swallow. It felt like all those weird feelings in my chest and stomach finally made sense. Strangely, I felt relieved that he saw the memory of River dying. If he relived that moment with me then I didn't have to explain myself about why I felt the way I did. He already knew. If my experiences were any indication, he probably felt every heartbreaking moment with me.  
  
And then I remembered that while that was a big issue solved, it didn't really solve the bigger fucking problem of how I felt about him.  
  
Okay, so yes, he was responsible for the death of my daughter. And yes we fought almost daily about stupid shit that didn't really matter at all. He also teased me constantly and I had no fucking idea what that meant. Did he like me too? Was I reading too much into this? Was the sky really fucking purple and pigs actually flew?  
  
Every single time he had kissed me I couldn't deny that there wasn't something there. Some intangible thing that kept drawing me to him like a moth to a flame and it scared the shit out of me. No, it terrified me. Now that I knew I liked him, I was terrified by what that would mean. How would Atticus react if I told him? What about the others? That talk Thor and I had on the helipad which seemed like forever ago, came back to me and his words from before that I thought had no meaning in them, suddenly had weight.  
  
Fucking hell...  
  
When I woke up the next morning, I was unbelievably self-conscious. Loki was still asleep in the other bed next to mine, for which I was incredibly thankful for. It allowed me time to try and work through some of this and at the same time, didn't do a fucking thing for me. I decided after about fifteen minutes to just get up and start getting dressed. The funeral was a couple hours away now and focusing on it was a good distraction. By the time I was showered, dressed and had applied a light amount of makeup, Loki was already up and dressed. He looked sharp, his suit far simpler to match my simple black dress. Black slacks, a crisp white shirt with a sleek cut suit jacket. He'd just finished straightening his tie when I exited the bathroom.  
  
"Good morning," he said with a smile, those green eyes looking me over.  
  
I fought against the blush that rose on my face, but it was a losing battle. He noticed and his smile grew.  
  
"Feeling self-conscious are we?"  
  
I blushed harder, turning away from him in hopes of hiding my face without actually cover it. How the hell did he know I was feeling self-conscious?  
  
"No," I said.  
  
Dammit, I sounded childish even to myself. Loki chuckled and walked over to where I was trying to fake digging through my small clutch (on loan from Natasha) for something.  
  
"You look beautiful," his breath tickled my ear and I shuddered. I looked up at him with the hardest look I could muster. I could feel my neck and face burn hotter just from him being closer.  
  
"Thank you," I said clearly, trying to sound like I wasn't flustered by him. I was never going to get through this if he kept doing shit like this. His smirk was sexy and the faint smell of snow drifted up from his lapels. I felt like I was losing ground again.  
  
"You look...handsome," I closed my eyes, trying to get myself to calm down and take a few breaths. I felt his body move closer and I opened my eyes in surprise to find him far too close to my face. I pushed at him, my hands tingling the moment I came in contact with him. He grinned then and I clicked my tongue out of embarrassment.  
  
"Dammit, would you stop? We're going to a funeral and I... I need to focus okay? Let's just get through that first before we figure out...whatever this is. Okay?"  
  
My voice was breathy and I could have kicked myself. What was this? This was way more than just liking someone. This was like lust on crack and fueled by hormones. He allowed me to push him away, but he chuckled, eyes bright and clearly up to no good.  
  
"Fine, but we are going to figure out what this is."  
  
That sounded unbelievably final and I swallowed. Loki turned, holding out his elbow like he had when we went to Tony's party. I let out a deep sigh and took his arm. My skin started to tingle almost immediately and I had to force myself to not get lost in it. Fucking Christ, hadn't this sensation been getting stronger lately? Before it seemed like it mostly happened when it was skin on skin. Now I could practically feel if I accidentally brush his shoulder.  
  
We walked to the door together and he opened it like a gentleman. My eyebrows lifted in surprise before my eyes narrowed suspiciously. I muttered my thanks as I walked to the car and he followed me. I decided to drive since I knew exactly where the funeral was.  
  
Or at least I thought I did.

* * *

"I'm sorry. I don't understand, there's no funeral today?"  
  
I had Loki wait in the car when we pulled in because the parking lot of the funeral home was deserted. There wasn't a single car in sight and my stomach churned when I walked inside to find a very surprised assistant. She called for the funeral director and he looked just as surprised.  
  
Mother fucking Catherine.  
  
The funeral director, whose name was John, nodded with sincerity. The situation was made all the more awkward because I was clearly dressed for a service.  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry ma'am, we don't have any services scheduled for today. Do you have the name of the deceased and I'll see if they've registered with us?"  
  
"Arthur Foster," I had a hard time not clenching my teeth when I said it. He instantly recognized the name, giving me a look of surprise and then confusion.  
  
"My apologies, I'm afraid that I can't give you a lot of information, his daughter was very specific—"  
  
"I'm his daughter, one of them anyway," I said partly under my breath, "You probably spoke with Catherine. Look, I'd just like to pay my respects."  
  
John gave me a calculating once over. I clearly didn't fit the vision he had of my family. Wealthy, snobby and just all around shitty people. They seemed to always forget the fact that they weren't always rich. After a moment he nodded briefly.  
  
"Well, we did prepare Mr. Foster and arranged the service for him, but your sister chose to have the service at their—I mean—your family's estate. The service ended almost an hour ago, though I suspect the reception is still going on."  
  
I stared at him. I would have been shocked, or maybe upset, but somehow I'd coasted past those two emotions and right into fucking pissed off.  
  
"Ah," I spoke softly because I was afraid I'd start yelling, "She probably just got sidetracked and forgot to tell me."  
  
John's assistant, who was still sitting at her desk didn't look like she bought that at all. But of course, it seemed that was just the tip of the bitch ice burg.  
  
"I am deeply sorry for your loss. We've already transported him to our cemetery to be buried next to your mother. Forgive me, but I didn't see you at her service last year. Though I suppose there were a lot of people who attended."  
  
I forced myself to smile even as the tears pricked my eyes and my hands clenched into fists.  
  
"Yes, unfortunately, I was not able to make her funeral last year."  
  
Due to the fucking fact, I didn't know that she had died. That was it, that was so fucking it. Catherine was going to get her fucking ass kicked the moment I saw her fucking face.  
  
I ended the conversation as quickly as possible and forced myself to not stomp back to the car. Loki was watching with curious eyes that grew wider when the car door creaked and opened with force without me touching it. It slammed shut as I shoved the key in the ignition and the back window suddenly spider-webbed like it had been hit with a baseball bat.  
  
"Darling," he said smoothly, "have our plans changed?"  
  
"Oh, you could fucking say that," I snapped as I threw the car into drive and peeled out of the parking lot. He grabbed the 'oh shit' handle above the door and braced himself with his other hand on the dashboard as I flipped a bitch and floored it back down the way we had come. He was silent next to me and I felt guilty for startling him. At the same time, I was getting more and more pissed off as I sped down the road. I promised myself I'd make it up to him later. First things first though.  
  
"Remember how I asked you in so many words to just let my family do whatever and not say anything?"  
  
"Yes, I vaguely remember you saying something about that," he paused, "You weren't serious were you?"  
  
I frowned, "I was, but now I'm kind of glad you were going to ignore it."  
  
"And why is that, darling?"  
  
I glanced at him, a hard look on my face, "Because my sister held the service for my father an hour ago at his house and I just found out my mother died a year ago."  
  
Loki's demeanor changed as he sat up straighter, his eyes getting that unmistakable glint to them. I let that sink in as I took a sharp turn down a perfectly paved road that led back into what looked to be nothing but woods. In actuality, it had some of the wealthiest homes hidden back into the trees. Some with expansive grounds and gardens. A few minutes later we passed the first in a series of security gates.  
  
"What is the plan exactly?" Loki's voice was all business as I eyeballed the narrow road looking for the right gate.  
  
"I think it goes without saying but no killing. Also, no magic if you can help it and feel free to be as sarcastically charming as possible."  
  
"Seems limited, but I'll try darling."  
  
I glanced at him and he rewarded me with a sexy smirk.  
  
"I must say, seeing you barely holding on to your control is getting me, shall we say, excited for other things?"  
  
I blushed deeply, as he leaned towards me. His voice promised things that I'd only read in Harlequin romances. The fact that my heart started pounding didn't help.  
  
"Okay, focus here," I grumbled as I saw the security gate and turned into the entrance. It was already open and I increased my speed again as soon as we were through it. At least she left the gate open, I would have hated ripping it off its hinges. As it was the heavy iron gate rattled as we passed and became surrounded by hedged bushes.  
  
"My apologies," he quipped and I shot him a look. He merely grinned as the private road opened up to a large mansion with a crap ton of cars parked on grass and marble white fountain of a mermaid splashing in it.  
  
"One more thing," I said as I parked the car in the most ridiculous way possible, almost hitting an expensive two-door, convertible.  
  
"Yes, darling?"  
  
"Don't break anything."  
  
Loki gave me a surprised look and I shrugged as I turned off the car and tossed the keys into my clutch.  
  
"If you break it, I'll feel obligated to fix it and I don't want to."  
  
He chuckled, "Of course. Now let's go pay your dear sister a visit."


	26. If The Dress Fits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this is it, the moment you've all been waiting for...
> 
> Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
> 
> Catherine...

I really didn't think this through. I mean, what did I think I was going to do? Walk-in there like some badass and start tearing the place down. Don't get me wrong, I really thought about it. The whole place was marble, wood, and stone. Not to mention the various fountains around the property and the fact that there were over sixty acres of trees.  
  
I could have fucked some serious shit up. Really, really well.  
  
However, all that left me the moment we crossed the threshold and were standing in the foyer. What in the fuck was I thinking, coming back to this place? Despite Catherine's clear attempts to fuck with me on an emotional level, I was out of my depth. She was way more clever than I was, always had been. She was probably banking on the fact that I'd come in hot and heavy, screaming and yelling like how I always did. Goddamnit, Tony wasn't far off when he called me a firecracker.  
  
We stopped in the middle of the empty foyer, surrounded by white marble floors and a cliché center table with a big ass bouquet of white lilies, my dad's favorite flower. The large staircase to the right was still lush with deep red carpet and the arched walnut ceilings practically sparkled.  
  
I felt uncomfortable just breathing the air in here.  
  
Loki must have seen the look on my face because he moved so he was standing in front of me. His face was eerily serious as he took my hands and squeezed them.  
  
"I think you give these people too much power over you darling, might I help to move things forward?"  
  
I frowned at him and looked down at our hands. Mine was tingling slightly from the contact.  
  
"I..." I started, not sure what I wanted to say. Catherine deserved to have her ass handed to her but I couldn't just bulldoze my way through this. She'd figure out some way to turn it around on me and I'd end up getting more pissed off if not humiliated.  
  
Loki startled me by taking my clutch out from my arm and tossing it on the center table.  
  
"Hey," I said, wanting to warn him that it wasn't mine and if it got messed up Natasha would probably be mad. He didn't seem to care and instead brought my hands up to his mouth, kissing my knuckles softly. The way he did it was so proper, almost regal and suddenly I remembered that he was a prince. My face flushed profusely and I bit my lip completely embarrassed even though we were alone. After a moment he looked at me, his breath tickling the back of my hands.  
  
"Don't lose that fire darling, it's one of the things I love about you. No matter what happens right now, I'll be right next to you. I won't abandon you to fight alone. I'll follow your lead and even grovel at your feet if I must. But your sister needs to be taught a lesson, one way or another."  
  
I could feel my heart beating along with my whole body tingling. Love? Did he just say, love!? Okay, breathe, he didn't mean it like that. Calm the fuck down, me.  
  
Call me crazy, but I believed him. I believed that he wouldn't just abandon me to fend for myself. He'd be there for me and those green eyes were so earnest that I felt myself put my trust in him.  
  
"You promise?" I murmured as he chuckled and gave my hands another kiss.  
  
"I'll promise, if I fail you may kick me in the groin again."  
  
I laughed, loud and uninhibited, I couldn't help it. He grinned I response and the next thing I knew, we were walking through the large mansion to the back where the reception was.  
  
There was soft orchestra music playing and several people dressed to the nines speaking here and there in the back near the kitchen. They glanced at us, obviously sticking out since the service was over. My new found trust, no were tiny it may or may not have been, had me paying no attention to them. As we exited out the back of a triple set of French doors, it was clear just how many people had come to pay their respects to my father.  
  
The crowd was large, massive even, with people dressed in their finest clothes and holding flutes here and there. At first, no one noticed us, but it soon became apparent that we had entered.  
  
At first, I couldn't figure out why. Sure my dress wasn't expensive or even tailored. But it was clean and—  
  
I looked down at myself before quickly looking at Loki, he was smiling like the goddamned King of fucking England.  
  
"What the actual fuck?" I whispered harshly to him. The dress I was wearing was NOT my dress. It was a deep purple wine color with a low cut that showed way too much cleavage to be considered appropriate for any outing, let alone a funeral. There were also jeweled little sparkles sewn into the hem that danced around just above my knees.  
  
Loki gave me a sly look in response. His own suit, which was admittedly downplayed from his usual when we left earlier was gone, and now he was in a form-fitting black suit with a tie that matched my dress. It had some kind of jewel sewn into the knot of it, sparkling so brightly that I immediately recognized it for a diamond.  
  
"Come now darling, your sister is looking for you," he whispered back, a charming smile on his face as we walked down the few steps to the larger crowd. Unable to rip him a new one I decided to not focus on the fact that I could definitely feel a breeze up my now shorter dress, and focus instead on finding Catherine.  
  
It wasn't hard, she was next to the bar at the far end looking like she was practically glowing. There was a large portrait of my father just to the side and a small crowd around her offering their condolences.  
  
The last time I saw Catherine she was shorter than me and her brown hair was cut just below her ears. She had also been a curvy young woman like me, with a nasty habit of spending money needlessly and blaming me for everything from her bad grades to the time she stayed out all night drinking.  
  
She'd changed drastically over the years. Her once full cheeks slim as her waist, still curvy but more pronounced. The woman was literally five, five and wearing heels that made her my height. Her soft pink dress looked incredibly good on her, fitting snugly to show off her figure. The biggest change was her hair color, it was a deep red that looked natural even though I knew it wasn't. Brown eyes like our father, were bright and happy as she spoke with an older man.  
  
God, it pissed me off just looking at her. She didn't even notice as Loki bypassed the small crowd of people and walked right up to her. She laughed at something the older man said to her, the sound soft and feminine. Nothing like mine, which was loud and, well, loud.  
  
"Hello, Catherine," I said, my voice dripping with politeness. She noticed me then, giving me a quick once over before giving Loki, who still had my arm in his, a longer look which pissed me off.  
  
Suddenly, her smiling face turned sad as tears welled up in them. I blinked, not sure what the fuck was going on as she threw her arms around me in a tight hug. I froze, startled and not sure what to do. I felt Loki's eyes on us as she sobbed.  
  
"Brynn, you're finally here, oh my god."  
  
"Uh..." I was downright fucking stupified. Catherine never in our entire childhood ever hugged me, not even once. The stark contrast from her phone call the day before and now had me reeling. Only for the moment though.  
  
"I see you still decided to come, find the place okay did you?" She whispered in that fake polite voice I had come to hate over the years. I gritted my teeth as I glanced at Loki. He narrowed his eyes, that polite smile on his face as he turned and addressed the small crowd.  
  
"I'm sorry, but it seems like the two sisters need some time. Please excuse them."  
  
No one batted an eyelash as he spoke, clearly a well-mannered man. They dispersed and Catherine finally let me go as she dabbed her eye with a napkin from the outside bar. Once people were far enough away I stepped closer to her, my anger coming back.  
  
"So what was your plan here? Did you call me just to fuck with me? Or did you decided that this was the right way to tell me dad AND mom were dead?"  
  
I could barely keep my voice down enough, thank god Loki had managed to get us some space. Catherine gave me a nasty smile as she looked me over.  
  
"I see you've developed a knack for language and information gathering from your time on the streets. Nice dress, by the way, though a bit whorish. But I supposed if the dress fits...?"  
  
"Pardon me," Loki cut in before I could grab the nearest cocktail and throw it at her. Her eyes flicked to him and in one motion wrote him off as soon as she took a sip of her champagne flute. Loki didn't look the least bit rattled as he smiled a wickedly dangerous smile at her.  
  
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't insult my darling, I'd hate to make a mess of her father's reception."  
  
Catherine looked him over again, setting her glass down, a disgusted look on her face.  
  
"Please, your _darling_ is nothing more than a piece of trash. Though I will say, I'm curious to know how much she paid for an escort like you on such short notice." She reached out and casually ran her hand down his lapel, a smirk on her face, "Armani, good choice, though I find the color of your tie a bit disturbing matching her dress."  
  
"Catherine," I ground out, pulling Loki away from her. I was both horrified and pissed that she insulted him by calling him an escort. Loki was looking more and more dangerous by the second and my hand felt like I'd been stabbed the moment an touched his arm to pull him next to me. It took a lot of effort to not wince.  
  
"Brynn," she mocked, giving me a look of disinterest, "you want to know why I called you? Fine, legally I'm supposed to anyway."  
  
I made a face as she continued.  
  
"Daddy's will states that I'll inherit his entire estate if and only if, you come on the day of his funeral and actually speak to me."  
  
"What..." I whispered.  
  
She smiled a sympathetic smile as she raised her glass to me, "Thank you for acting like the emotional whore you are. Seriously, did you think Daddy and Mom had forgiven you for getting knocked up? Did you think for one second that we weren't all affected by your mistake? You've always tried to take everything I ever loved away from me. Our mother, our father, Jason... Hell, you even had better grades than me. It's only fair that I take the money that's actually mine and finally get what I deserve.  
  
It was easy once you didn't show up for Mother's funeral. I had the final push I needed to make sure Daddy left me with all of it. Then he added his little clause in there about you and I almost lost everything. Yet, here you are, on the DAY of his funeral, speaking to me with Daddy's lawyer present."  
  
She indicated the man who she was speaking to when we walked up. He gave her a little nod back after glances at me. She laughed then and Loki tensed next to me as I stared at her, my mouth in a hard line. There were no words that would come to me. All I could do was grip Loki's arm as tight as I could so I didn't scream. I thought I was coming here to pay my respects to my father, who I did love. To maybe see if I could get back some kind of relationship with my sister, but no. Instead, it was about what it always was about, fucking money.  
  
Someone called Catherine's name as she took another sip of her flute and she waved them over, a smile on her face. She turned her attention back to me a split second before they came into my line of sight.  
  
"You remember Jason, right Brynn? The man whose life you almost ruined because you couldn't keep your legs closed?"  
  
I felt my heart stop as Jason suddenly appeared by her side, dressed in a clean-cut suit. I sucked in a breath as Atticus's deep green eyes stared at me. His coal-black hair was trimmed short, a silver streak running through it. He was tan now and taller than I remembered. Broad shoulders and chest that rivaled Steve's made him look like he hadn't stopped working out even after high school.  
  
He looked at Loki for a quick moment before his eyes drifted over me in one flat look. I suddenly felt ashamed of the dress I was wearing. I tightened my hold on Loki and tried to swallow. What the fuck was Jason, father of my kids, doing here!?  
  
"Perfect timing," she kissed his cheek as she slipped her arm in his, "Jason is taking over Daddy's company. We got married just after mom passed because Daddy insisted."  
  
I stared, trying to convince my mouth that it could actually make noises that sounded like words. My brain decided right then that we should stare stupidly instead of trying to talk. Gee, thanks brain.  
  
"Nice to see you are doing well, Brynn," Jason said, his voice smooth as if he didn't care to understand what was going on, "I see you brought a date with you, my name is Jason Harper."  
  
Jason held out his hand and I felt Loki move, taking his hand in a firm grip as he smiled. The sharp sensation in my hand felt like it was burning, but I couldn't seem to get my hand to release. Tears prickled in the corners of my eyes as Catherine gave me a bitchy smile.  
  
"Loki, God of mischief and magic, Prince of Asgard and Brynn's lover."  
  
I looked up at Loki in shock, momentarily snapped out of my mutism. Jason's and Catherine both blinked at him as he let go of Jason's hand. He carefully removed my hand from his arm that I'd been gripping, slipping it behind me to pull me flush against him. I lost my balance and had to wrap my arm around him to keep from falling. He didn't even flinch as he held me fast, continuing to speak like we were talking about the weather.  
  
"By the way, just in case you were curious about it, your son is one of the brightest minds I've ever had the privilege of knowing, a rival to Tony Stark if I may say so," Loki paused for a moment, looking as if he was thinking before smiling nastily at Catherine then Jason, "Forgive me, he's not your son is he? He's mine, perhaps not in name, but soon I think."  
  
Loki looked down at me as I gaped at him because of what he just implied. His eyes were flecked in deep-colored gold and he gave me the most loving smile I'd ever seen before turning his attention back to them.  
  
"Oh yes and if either one of you continues to insult her I'll make sure, as they say, that they never find your bodies."


	27. A Lesson Learned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Such a great response to the last chapter! Thank you all for your wonderful comments, I really appreciate it. 💜 They really fueled this next chapter getting cranked out. 
> 
> You guys are wonderful and thank you again for loving this so much.

Catherine laughed as if Loki had told a funny joke and Jason looked equally amused, chuckling right along. I felt my face shut down as I focused on them.  
  
These people were never going to change. I was done feeling guilty about hurting my sister. It was a stupid thing that I did yes, but I hadn’t loved Jason, I hadn’t even wanted to have a future with him. It was just plain old teenage stupidity. But I loved Atticus and I loved River, I wouldn’t trade them for the world. So something good had come out of it.  
  
I was done being the doormat for every problem she had and I was fucking done being reminded constantly of how different I was from her and my family. I had been chasing after some stupid hope that one day, just maybe, we could all be a family. The way that Atticus, River and I were family. That maybe she might want to bury the hatchet and learn to be actual sisters.  
  
That dream I'd been having for the last week suddenly made a lot of sense. All that running, chasing after someone or something that I desperately wanted that just kept getting farther and farther away no matter how much I tried. It just wasn't worth it anymore, this endless pit I was trying to dig myself out of for sake of people who just didn’t want me to be part of their lives.  
  
"You know, there is something I always wanted to ask you,” I said slowly. I barely registered the words as they left my mouth. That feeling of being me, but not being me clicked over just like it had when I scared the shit out of Randall’s father.  
  
I wasn’t scared of her, wasn’t caught up in worrying over if she’d forgive me or not. Just like that, it didn’t matter anymore. Loki was right, she needed to be taught a lesson, one way or another.  
  
Catherine stopped laughing long enough to sneer at me. A slow deliberate smile spread across my face, knowing that this was the last time I would ever see her felt kind of good.  
  
The wind kicked up, blowing around loose branches and a table flipped over, destroying everything that was on it. People let out startled noises and one actually screamed in surprise. In the distance, a flock of birds screeched from the nearby woods, taking flight immediately. The orchestra music cut off suddenly, stirring the crowd more before an eerie silence filled the air.  
  
“Loki, make sure the others get out,” my voice was light as if I’d asked him to go to the store and grab a gallon of milk. I sensed him use his magic, a pull somewhere inside my head as copies of himself sprung up around the crowd of people. A sharp sound, like a blade sharpening, echoed as the crowd erupted into panicked noises. Some people were already leaving.  
  
“Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that the reception of the dearly departed Arthur Foster, has come to a close. Please exit these grounds immediately...or don’t your choice.”  
  
The crowd panicked and started moving, but I didn’t care. Something in me knew he’d scare the crowd just enough to get them the fuck out.  
  
Catherine and Jason’s smiles were quickly gone as I stepped forward. They both took a step back from me and Catherine decided to speak up.  
  
“What? You think your freak of a boyfriend is going to scare me?”  
  
I kept my smile as I took another step forward. She held her ground stubbornly. Maybe we did have something in common after all. Jason, on the other hand, looked a little shaken.  
  
“It’s not him you should be scared of Catherine.”  
  
Distantly, I heard cars start and peel out down the private road. There was a tugging sensation in my head and I knew Loki had dropped his illusions. He managed to get them out pretty quickly, good.  
  
Jason seemed to find his confidence and stepped forward, shielding Catherine and trying to intimidate me at the same time. He glared at me and I felt absolutely nothing. He may have had the same features as Atticus and River, but that was as far as it went. There was a measure of comfort in that fact.  
  
“You were the worst mistake I ever made. Just so you know, I took pity on you when I slept with you. I felt nothing for you.”  
  
Jason clicked his tongue at me, his smooth voice becoming cruel.  
  
“What a coincidence, Jason. Because I feel nothing for you too.”  
  
The bottles along the bar all erupted into a mad explosion of booze and glass, which completely missed me and mostly hit them. Jason tried to cover Catherine, but he was too slow and Catherine let out a scream.  
  
The ground started to shake violently, nearby trees swaying dangerously, their wood groaning before snapping clean off and falling. A second later the ground split open at the tree line headed right for us. They clung to each other, screaming and panicking. The ground gave way around us, leaving us on a grassy platform separated from the rest of the grounds. The separation from the rest was at least twelve feet, there was nowhere for us to go.  
  
The large split in the ground shot towards the mansion. Parts of it had already cracked and several windows shattered as the house started to split into two separate pieces.  
  
“Stop! Stop! Please, Brynn, stop!”  
  
Catherine’s screaming was irate and I turned my attention from the house, which was rapidly ripping itself apart. She had small cuts on her face, which were probably burning like hell now. Jason managed to stand from where they had fallen from all the shaking and lunged for me. I dodged him, his hand nearly grabbing my arm before he slipped and fell off the platform into the open earth below. He yelled out in surprise and Catherine screamed, tears gushing down her slim cheeks.  
  
“No!”  
  
She sobbed, shaking and terrified as the mansion collapsed in itself. I didn’t leave one single man-made thing left on the property. The ground redoubled its shaking and I walked over perfectly fine even with the shaking to Catherine, who was huddled on the ground, sobbing.  
  
“Now I’ve taken everything away from you Catherine. Every single fucking thing you claimed to care about. Now you have a legitimate reason to hate me. So my question is, do you feel better now? Being proved correct about your sister?  
  
I never meant to hurt you with Jason, I actually had no idea you liked him. It was a silly mistake because for one stupid moment, he was nice to me and I fooled myself into believing that he actually liked me. But you know, it doesn't really matter now, does it? Because I've said all this before."  
  
Catherine cried harder as I kneeled down next to her and put my hand on the back of her head. She trembled and cried out as the ground shook hard one more time as I slowly petted her head.  
  
"This will be the last time I see you, Catherine. I really hope that you and Jason are happy and I hope you learn at some point that money isn't everything. It's the people in our lives that matter, not the material bullshit."  
  
I stood just as the ground stopped shaking and took a look around. It was dead quiet, peaceful and beautiful. The mansion, along with all the fountains, gardens and the guest house were gone. Trees, lush and full reached high up into the sky and flowers of different colors bloomed vividly. It looked untouched and lush, a place to rebuild or to simply keep as a reminder. It was her choice.  
  
Jason gasped loudly as he staggered out from behind a tree, looking dazed as he leaned heavily against it. Catherine slowly looked up at me as I slipped off my shoes and let my bare feet enjoy the carpet like grass.  
  
"Don't worry," I said, a smile tugging on my mouth as I heard a car horn and saw a familiar town car with a grinning Loki behind the wheel, driving way too fast between the trees towards us. He stopped just a few feet away, getting out.  
  
"I won't come back."  
  
I made my way to him, smiling broadly as I looked him over. His once prestige suit was a mess. His jacket was gone and his shirt was torn along his shoulder.  
  
"I thought you said not to break anything," he smirked, motioning around to the trees and meadow with his arms as he walked towards me.  
  
I shrugged, "I changed my mind. You okay?" I pointed to his shirt and he grinned.  
  
"Of course, just had to dodge a few trees and a few falling pieces of marble. It's surprisingly hard to drive a car during an earthquake."  
  
"Sorry," I murmured as he slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me close.  
  
"Oh don't worry, this is the most fun I've had in weeks. I can't wait to see what you do next."  
  
I blushed, I couldn't help it and I pushed at him to let me go, he didn't. Instead, he pulled me closer and kissed me. I made a surprised sound before he let me go, eyes filled with mischief.  
  
"Seriously!? Stop surprise kissing me, I don't know how to react to it." I fumed, pulling away from him, completely embarrassed. Loki didn't care in the slightest, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
"I love your reactions when you're caught off guard. Besides, I'll never stop kissing you. Matter of fact, you promised we would figure out what this is between us. I fully intend to explore it completely."  
  
His eyes roamed over my ridiculous cleavage and I smacked his shoulder lightly, which he playfully tried to dodge. I stomped barefooted around him to the driver's side of the car, which allowed me to hide my burning face.  
  
"Get in the car and keep your hands to yourself," I grumbled. If I thought he might have been flirting before I was downright fucking wrong. Jesus, save me from myself because I couldn't stop blushing.  
  
"Oh darling, you're blushing again," he teased as he walked to the passenger side of the car and got in. I got in too, spotting Catherine and Jason holding each other tightly. My heart gave a hard pound of regret before I turned the ignition over. Something caught my eye and I looked down to spot Natasha's clutch.  
  
"Hey, you grabbed it," I said in surprise and Loki loosened his tie, undoing the top two buttons. He gave me a small, gentle smile.  
  
"I figured you'd feel bad if it got sucked into the void."  
  
"Thank you," I said with feeling,giving him a smile back. He stilled for a moment and I swear to god the tips of his ears turned a slight pink.  
  
"You're welcome," he said softly, looking down at his shirt and fretting over a huge smudge on it. I grinned as I put the car in gear, slowly maneuvering the car back through the trees to the main road.


	28. Consequences With Bad Punchlines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really quick: SUPER sorry for all the stupid typos and punctuation errors for the last like seven chapters. >_< I'm currently working on updating them so they aren't such eye sores. 
> 
> Again thanks for reading!

You know there are certain things they don't tell you when you crawl through glass-covered goo and your DNA decides to remake itself into some kind of 'magic' woman.

One is that no one really tells you straight up that you're drawing too much attention to yourself and to stop that shit. Second, you never know the consequences of your actions are until it's too late.

You act on impulse a few times to right a few wrongs in your personal life and the next thing you know, you're being held at gunpoint with a bunch guys in SWAT gear and a couple of Black Hawk helicopters hovering just behind them.

I mean really, was all of that fucking necessary? A simple, ‘stop fucking doing that shit’ would have sufficed.

* * *

Loki and I slowly exited the slightly dented town car, the back window still spider-webbed and looking like it'd seen better days in general. We put our hands up, though they didn't ask us to, we didn't really want to be shot either. I mean, I'll admit I could do some pretty amazing things, but I didn't think dodging bullets or invincibility was one of them.

Once we were out and standing in front of the car one of the helicopters took off back towards where my family's mansion used to be, while the other landed in the middle of the private road. Slowly it powered down and the last person I wanted to see exited the helicopter, in all his black leather and eye-patched glory.

"Shit..." Loki said with feeling and I glanced at him.

"You know Nick Fury too?"

"Unfortunately," Loki sighed deeply as Nick gave out orders to a few of the men and they broke off into teams. Some of them going back down the road, some staying with the helicopter and some coming with him as he approached us. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as he focused that one dark eye on the two of us. It looked back and forth as if calculating something and I found myself biting the inside of my lip to release some of the tension in my body.

"Ms. Foster, my condolences on your father's death," he sounded pleasant enough, but I wasn't buying it for a moment. The look in his eye could have made anyone beg for forgiveness.

"Thanks, Nick, I'm sure you know how stressful funerals are,” I replied softly as I remembered telling him to fuck off the last time we met. Clearly what I had done this time was bigger than shaking a building and busting some plumbing here and there.

He stopped right in front of me and I carefully put my hands down. Loki followed suit and eased up beside me. The small group of guys in SWAT gear weren’t pointing guns at us for the moment. I took that as a good sign.

"I take it I'm in big trouble?”

Might as well address the elephant in the room, or in this case, middle of the road.

"You leveled a sixty-acre piece of land in less than two minutes—"

"Hey, I didn't 'level' it, I just taught my sister a lesson and let the ground start over. Besides, those trees wanted to be there.” I attempted to defend myself and was rewarded with a cold look. Okay, note to self, you’re in no position to be a smart ass right now. However, I was NOT going to feel bad about what I did to Catherine.

Loki shifted closer to me until I could feel his shoulder bump against mine. It tingled and I got the faint impression that Loki was calculating the situation. I, on the other hand, felt pretty damn good despite my growing anxiousness at being in trouble. That growing feeling of impending doom seemed to vanish along with that stupid mansion.

“You’re coming with me,” his voice was just as cold as his one eyeball and I frowned.

Great, now I was going to get carted off to weird magical mom prison, never to see the light of day again. Atticus would be livid. Fuck, what about Randall? I was responsible for him now too. If Janice: The Social Worker, ever found out about this who knew what would happen. Atticus might be all for my standing up to Catherine and scaring the shit out of her, but Randall was his first love. He might not forgive me for fucking that up.

I really needed to start making some serious life changes.

**1) THINK DAMNIT.**

**2) THINK DAMNIT.**

“I’ll be coming too, if you don’t mind,” Loki spoke up, his face serious as Nick turned his eye to him.

“I don't think so."

The staring match that ensued was so tense I could almost feel the static electricity in the air. I felt kind of giddy standing there with Loki matching Nick's stare with his own. Maybe giddy was too strong a word? But I was definitely feeling something with him trying to insist on coming along. It was sweet and...dammit, I just couldn't think of the word.

Holy shit, okay, focus. Nick Fury, in trouble, aaand... Go!

Snapping myself out of my thoughts I put my hand on Loki's arm to try and back him down.

"Hey, it's okay," I gave him a reassuring smile when he looked at me, "Look, I'll go and you can check on Atticus and Randall. If there's a problem I'm sure Tony can get a hold of Nick, right?"

I looked at Nick with questioning eyebrows and his forehead creased in irritation.

"Yes, and call me Fury," his voice was gruff and I nodded.

"Okay, see? Ni—Fury will be expecting a call from Tony."

"But what about—" he started and I immediately spoke over him.

"Later, okay? Later. Check on the kids, make sure they're alright," I pressed and Loki gave me a semi annoyed look.

Let's be honest, I wasn't really expecting him to 'check on the kids'. Mostly I just didn't want him to try and take the focus off of me, getting himself in trouble. He didn't deserve that. The tingling sensation in my hand as I held his arm increased when he gave Fury a leveled look.

"I think it goes without saying that you best take care of her."

"Loki—" I started in warning, but whatever I was going to say was lost as Loki turned and gave me a quick kiss. I smacked my hand against his chest as he purposefully held me there for a few seconds. Fucking hell, what was he doing!?

Finally, he let me go, a devilish smile on his face as I smacked his chest a couple of times. My face was completely red and I could have died from embarrassment.

"Damnit, I said to stop doing that!"

Fury looked at us in what I could only assume was a surprise, that eye patch made reading his face a little difficult. The few SWAT men stirred slightly and I just knew if he stayed longer someone was bound to get an itchy trigger finger. Loki didn't look the least bit guilty as he walked between Fury and me to the driver's side of the car.

"Don't forget, we have a lot to 'figure out' later, darling," he said just before getting in and starting the car. I rubbed my face with my hands in embarrassed exacerbation as I closed my eyes, trying to get myself to calm down. I waited until I heard the car back up, drive around us and down the road before I looked at Fury.

"Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?"

I groaned, "I don't know, yes? No? Maybe? I don't know? You didn't really come here to ask me about that did you?"

A smile tugged on the corner of his mouth for the first time and it startled me, did he just actually smile!?

"No, let's go."

He turned and the small SWAT team moved to stand on either side me. I let out a sigh, as I followed him towards the helicopter. I'd have to hope that Loki wouldn't get into trouble and that both Atticus and Randall were alright. Fuck, Tony was going to be pissed.

* * *

Okay, so apparently I didn't tolerate being in a helicopter very well. Or a jet. Or a Heli-carrier. A fact that was made painfully evident by me throwing up unceremoniously several times. I felt unbelievably mortified that I was getting so airsick. Whatever ass chewing or threat Fury had for me was placed on hold for several hours until after I managed to say two words without dry heaving. I considered it a personal win that I didn't get it on my dress.

After that, I was shown where the showers were on the heli-carrier and given a change of clothes. I was surprised that it even had showers, let alone sleeping quarters for a couple hundred people. Or at least that's what it looked like. It was hard to tell with so many damned doors.

A nice woman in a very crisp looking uniform apologized for not having any women's sizes that would fit me. We ended up mixing and matching until finally I was dressed in a snug-fitting jacket with a S.H.I.E.L.D logo on the arm and a pair of pants that were too loose around my waist but were the correct length. My boobs felt like they were compressed against me, making me stand with my back overly straight. It fucking hurt after two minutes, but I didn't complain.

I couldn't hold it against her, every single person on the airship was lean, athletic and muscular. I stuck out like a sore thumb and clearly, didn't belong here. I was just thankful that we at least found something that worked. She even took my dress and assured me that she'd keep it safe until Fury was done with me.

A hard-looking guy, dressed in the same uniform as me, though admittedly the correct size, escorted me to the bridge. He called it a control deck, but let's be honest, it was like we were on a weird episode of Star Trek. I seriously wanted to make a Star Trek joke or two, but the guy didn't look like he was up for a laugh. I tried to keep my comments to myself as we walked.

It didn't take long before we entered the control deck. Fury's back was to me as he looked out over the massive room of people pushing various buttons and tapping glass panes of digital data. It felt like the military version of Tony's lab and I suddenly understood why they didn't really get along.

The man who escorted me left the way we came and I cleared my throat to get Fury's attention. He looked over his shoulder at me and I had a hell of a time not fidgeting.

"Nice of you to join me, Ms. Foster," he was curt and I ended up looking down at my boots.

"Yeah, sorry about... Well, just sorry. I've never been on a plane, let alone a helicopter," I said sheepishly. I honestly couldn't remember if I got any on his boots. Fuck, I hoped not.

Wanting to get this over with, I walked up to stand next to him and he gave me a once over. To his credit, he didn't comment about how stupid I looked with my overly tight jacket and loose pants. After a moment, he finally spoke.

"I bet you are wondering why you're here?"

"Um, because my sister is a bitch and I 'leveled' the sixty acres that belonged to my deceased father?"

I wasn't trying to sound like a smart ass, honest to god. I looked away from him, trying to not let him see me cringe.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that. It's been a rough few days."

I peeked at Fury as he tilted his head in acknowledgment. The white noise of people softly talking and tapping on digital data on the glass panes filled the space between us. I wasn't sure if he was waiting for me to say something or if he was doing it intentionally. I was placing my money on seeing how long it took before I cracked.

"So, is that why I'm here?"

So I cracked, sue me.

"Partly, let me show you."

He turned and walked off, I followed until he stopped at a table in the far end of the room. The digital projector, just like in Tony's conference room, came to life and suddenly we were looking at a 3-D image of the Earth.

"You've heard of Murphy's Law, correct?"

I blinked, frowning slightly, "Isn't that the scientific theory that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong?"

"Exactly. You're a walking catastrophe, Ms. Foster. Made more so by your telekinetic ability to move the world around you. You've caused millions of dollars in property damage in just a few weeks."

He was so matter-of-fact that I tensed, okay he had a point about the damage, but I fixed most of it. I wasn't fixing the damage done to my dad's property though. Catherine was going have to fucking deal with it.

"Everything I've done can be justified. Randall's father was abusing him and my sister decided to use me to inherit my father's money. I'm not going to apologize for either of those and I did fix the damage to Randall's apartment building."

"I'm not asking you to apologize, I'm simply saying that things can quickly spiral out of control and you won't be able to fix it with the use of your ability."

I frowned, "Yes, I get that and I'm not denying that I'm responsible. I know things can quickly go to hell, my whole fucking life has been like that. I'm also not trying to 'use my ability' to fix my problems."

"Good, because your use of them is causing problems on a global scale," Fury tapped something on the table and the 3-d globe started to spin.

"Every time you have used your abilities, the axis of the Earth shifts. At first, we couldn't figure out why until we started scanning for anomalies in the natural electromagnetic field that surrounds the planet."

Several blue arrows, which I assumed where supposed to symbolize the Earth's magnetic field from the north and south poles, appeared. A red arrow going through the two poles and the center of the planet also appeared to mark the axis. Fury continued as I listened, a growing panic creeping in.

"Ever since you’ve used your power—the apartment building, your father's estate and that week you were adjusting to it—you've shifted the Earth's axis by an eighteenth of a degree. It doesn't sound like much, but there have already been massive changes in weather patterns in the north and south poles. Temperatures dropping colder than we’ve seen in decades, random storms. It won’t be long until more populated areas become affected and people start dying.”

I stared at Fury.

O-kay, those serious life changes were going to have to be immediate.

"Fuck," I said with feeling and the 3-D image disappeared. I couldn't even begin to fully process how serious this was, but I had to force myself to at least come up with something constructive to say. Sadly, all I could do was stand there like a moron.

"Fuck doesn't even come close to describing it. You've got two options, figure out a way to control your ability so it doesn't cause the end of the world as we know it, or stop using your ability. If you don't, I'll be forced to take action."

"That sounds like your saying you're going to lock me up or kill me," I murmured. I felt numb like I was having some kind of fucked-up out of body experience.

"Got it in one," Fury said seriously as he walked towards me, stopping just in front of me. His one eye watched me carefully.

"I understand your situation, believe it or not, with your son and that Randall kid. I didn't want you to join the Avengers to use you as a weapon per se but to utilize your skill set to protect the place we all live from others who would like to see it destroyed. But if you can't get a handle on it, you'll move from the former category to the latter. Which is why I came to see you in the first place."

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. As far as fuck-ups go, not hearing him out the first time I met him was a big one.

"I... Can I go home now?"

My voice was unbelievably small and I couldn't even look at Fury. He was quiet, maybe doing that calculated look again, but after a moment he spoke.

"Good luck, Ms. Foster. I'll be in touch."

* * *

I didn’t get airsick on the way back to the tower.

Honestly, I wasn’t feeling much of anything until I was back in another helicopter and could see the entirety of New York. The city was active with traffic and the closer we got to the tower, the easier it was to see people walking along sidewalks and hot dog vendors trying to push their sales.

Just the idea that I could accidentally kill everyone on the planet made me feel fucking horrible. I didn't really know if it was possible for me to NOT use my power. When I had tried to do that before I'd just made it worse and had no control over it at all. I had been focusing on it before, maybe that was why. I had gone a few weeks without using it until today, maybe it was possible. Loki had warned me before that my emotions would make it harder. Was I not supposed to feel anything? Fuck, did I even have the ability to be completely emotionless?

Yeah, probably not.

A small thought about asking Tony to see if he could reverse what had happened to me popped into my head for all of two seconds before I dismissed it. Tony and Banner had been very clear, my DNA was completely changed, there was no magic concoction that could reverse what happened. I was going to be like this for the rest of my life. Based on the average life span of the human population, I just had to not feel anything for the next forty years or so.

I groaned, rubbing my eyes trying not let the prickling I was feeling in them turn into full-blown tears. Crying was not going to fix this, the best I could do was sit down with everyone and try and come up with a solution.

We arrived at the tower and the co-pilot helped me get down, my dress tucked in a small bag under my arm as I tried not to get blown away by the helicopter. Once I was in the elevator JARVIS spoke up over the speaker.

"Welcome back, Brynn."

"Hey JARVIS, it's nice to be home," I answered, not really registering the conversation. I rubbed my eyes again as they started to burn with unshed tears. Just fucking great, here I was trying not to be emotional and it was having the opposite effect again. I needed someone to slap me in the face and tell me to get a grip.

"The team has gathered in the common kitchen area along with your son and Mr. Kiennan. They have been eagerly waiting for your return. I've taken the liberty of informing them of your arrival."

"Thanks," I murmured.

The elevator started moving and JARVIS was quiet. After a few seconds, he was back on the speaker.

"Pardon me, but you seem to be experiencing some kind of emotional upset. Would you like me to tell you a joke?"

"Sure JARVIS, that would be good," I really wasn't in the mood for one but hey, laughing was better than crying right?

"How does a train eat?"

"No idea," I said, listening for the punch line.

"Chew, chew..." JARVIS delivered the line in the most monochromatic tone possible and I couldn't help it. I laughed.


	29. Let Me Show You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't planning on writing another chapter today, but got super inspired when I got home.
> 
> Also, Loki has expressed his severe frustrations, so I had no choice but to cave. Much to Byrnn's dismay. 
> 
> I forgot to mention at the beginning of the last chapter, but I sincerely thank all of you that posted comments. I really enjoy reading them and they really mean a lot to me. 
> 
> This one is for all of you still reading, commenting, bookmarking, leaving kudos, etc. much love!

I was tired.

The unofficial meeting, which was only unofficial because I cooked dinner while I explained what happened with Fury, went on way too long. Tony was pissed off because Fury didn't tell him anything other than I was okay and he'd bring me back soon, a conversation that happened while I had been dealing with my airsickness. By the time everyone had said their piece and the topic of me fucking with the natural order of the planet was talked into the ground, it was already dark outside. 

Loki, much to his frustration, was pulled away by Thor and Tony directly after the meeting. Giving me time to get Atticus and Randall in their respective rooms. It didn't escape my notice that something was different between them. Atticus looked like he was practically glowing and Randall seemed more sure of himself. 

For the record, I'm not stupid. I was pretty sure they had had sex while I was gone. I just didn't want to ask because I didn't want to know if they did it in my bed. God, I hoped not.

After that, I tried to lay down on the couch, but I just couldn't seem to get comfortable. My mind was also thinking about world destruction. I managed to force myself to think about something else, but that something else was Loki. Of course, once I started to think about him, I couldn't stop thinking about him. 

Did I really have the energy to get off the couch and go find him and 'figure out' what this was between us? Did I really want to keep tossing and turning on this fucking couch?

Yes and no.

It took about five minutes for me to make up my mind and another fifteen to get the courage up. I won't say how long it took me to actually leave the apartment to walk down the hallway because it was truly pathetic. I was a grown woman, a mother, I had a degree and I had a stable job. So why was I so scared?

I'll fucking tell you why.

There's a certain amount of trust that you have to have for someone if you are going to sleep with them. I'm not saying that that was my intention, but I will say it dawned on me almost too late that it could end up that way. I'd already slept with Jason and we all saw how that turned out. Loki and I had made great leaps and strides overcoming things out of necessity or because he was relentlessly persistent. Yet I still had no idea what he wanted from me. I had no idea what I wanted from him either. Was it just sex? Is that what I wanted? Was he bored? Did he like me as I had come to realize I liked him?

Fucking fuck, fuck.

These were all the same questions that I'd asked myself before and there was really the only way to figure it out.

Oh god, what the hell was I thinking?

* * *

The door slid open silently before I had a chance to run away and I practically jumped out of my skin, it startled me so damn bad. 

"Mother fuc—!" 

I started to yell and Loki grabbed my arm and yanked me inside his apartment before I had a chance to finish cursing. He let my arm go as the door slid shut and I glared at him. His hair was still wet from the shower and it dropped down his bare chest. I felt my face slip as I watched a drop of water slide down over his collar bone and I swallowed.

Oh. My. God.

It took a lot of will power to snap my eyes to his and focus on glaring at him.

"You scared the shit out of me—" 

Before I could finish he grabbed my wrist, a smirk on his face as he pulled me towards him. Caught off guard and off-balance, I stumbled into him. He wrapped his other arm around my waist and my eyes grew wide.

"I was wondering if I was going to have to come get you, darling," his voice was smooth and teasing as his breath whispered along my lips. My skin felt like it was on fire, tingling all over and making my breath catch. All the worry and tension that had been tied into a tight ball in my chest eased and my legs tried to give out.

"I... Why do I feel like..." I couldn't even get the words out. I briefly wondered if he felt like this too whenever we touched, but the thought was gone before I could really process it.

Loki made a thoughtful noise deep in his chest as his hand on my wrist released and came up to cup my face. The movement of his thumb brushing against my cheek made the tingling feel double and I wasn't able to stop the small noise of pleasure that left me.

His lips brushed mine and I wasn't sure if he was silently asking or afraid to kiss me. That soft touch of his lips on mine sent a shiver right down to my bones. It physically hurt that he wasn't kissing me and I was suddenly frustrated. He chuckled, pulling back briefly before kissing the nape of my neck. Slender fingers ghosting my exposed shoulders from my sleeping tank top. 

I moaned as his lips kissed down my nape and shoulder. I would have been embarrassed by the noise I was making but some part, okay let's be honest a rather large part of me didn't care.

My body lit up, burning and hurting at the same time but feeling oh so good. My hands trembled from his touch and I had to grip his hips to keep myself standing.

"Loki...?" His name came out as a question as he kissed back up my neck.

"It's fascinating. The more I touch you the more I find myself wanting more. It's almost like being drunk, but more intense. More pleasurable."

"It hurts..." My voice sounded strained. I was lost in this sensation but at the same time, it wasn't enough. I wanted more. Something low in my abdomen tightened as he nibbled my ear.

"Yes," he murmured against my ear, "as if I stop here, we'll both die."

His voice was husky, sounded just as strained as mine and my half-lidded eyes fluttered shut. His hand one my waist tightened as he pulled me closer, removing as much distance as possible. I didn't fight it, leaning into him as he nuzzled the nape of my neck. 

"I'm...scared..." I whispered.

Despite the amount of pleasure from something so simple, I was actually terrified. In so many words he had admitted that touch me affected him too. What did that mean? Did that mean he only liked me because of this feeling? 

I found the strength to pull back away from him. At first, he resisted, but when I pushed he let me go completely and just like that I could breathe again. I took a few steps back, trying to give us space. We were both panting and my body ached all over from the strain. So much so that I was shaking. 

Loki's eyes were completely gold, his pupils big as he attempted to take deep even breaths.

"I have to know," I said through pained breaths, "what do you actually feel for me? This," I motioned to the space between us to indicate whatever the hell had just happened, "doesn't count. Do you actually like me? Is this just a sex thing? Because if it is, I don't think I can just sleep with you and cure your boredom."

Loki looked at me, really looked at me and I had to fight to not tremble under his gaze. His breathing was evening out and for the first time I noticed he wasn't wearing sleep pants, but a towel that was hanging dangerously off his hips. Not to mention the obvious bulge poking out the front.

I blushed hard and had to advert my eyes, wrapping my arms around my self to try and distract myself from how sexy he looked. Sexual fantasies be damned, no one or anything was going to compare to that.

"Let me show you how I feel."


	30. I've Been Thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Brynn would like me to remind you that the original tag for this fic was "eventual smut". 
> 
> Loki: Yes, it has now been upgraded to "smut". *grins at Brynn with a predatory look*
> 
> Brynn: Jesus. *blushes*

Loki approached me so fast I back peddled right up against the wall next to the door with a thump. His once bright green eyes had lost their color, completely drowned in deep gold, the dark rim outlining his irises a stark contrast. I knew it was his true eye color but having him that close and looking at me so intensely with those eyes, was beyond overwhelming. His wet hair dripped on both of us as he slid his hands along both sides of my face to hold me there. The moment he touched me my body felt like it was shocked with a jolt and before I could utter a sound, he kissed me.

It wasn't tentative, soft or even gentle. It stole my breath away fiercely causing an explosion of pleasure that had my knees buckle. Out of all of the times that he kissed me, this one wasn't even in the same league. His tongue didn't tease mine as it had in the past, it tried to conquer me, devour me and I couldn't get enough of it. I wanted to drown in this feeling if racing heart beats and tingling hot skin.

Something crashed loudly behind us but it barely registered in my ears. I brought my hands up to run my hands through his wet hair, finding that sensitive spot on his neck I found before. He growled into our kiss and nipped my tongue. One hand snaked down my side and over my ass, lifting my leg up by the knee and forcing me harder into the wall. I let my hands roam over his chest, loving the feel of his chest hair and the muscle that flexed under my fingertips. It was electric, zinging up my arms and driving me to moan as I kissed him back.

Any thoughts about being scared or this not being a good idea left me completely as his hips pressed against me. I could feel him pressing between my legs and I let out a surprised sound when I realized what exactly was poking me just below my navel. I tried to pull back out of surprise but Loki didn't let up, sliding his hand up the back of my thigh. The feel of his hand made my skin feel like it was on fire and my other leg threatened to give out.

Loki held me there, refusing to let up as he started to kiss and suck down my neck. I could feel his teeth as he sucked on the delicate skin. It hurt, but felt so fucking god I didn't want him to stop. Every touch seemed to increase the waves of pleasure crashing into me and I wasn't even out of my clothes yet. I tried to remember what sex with Jason had been like and if I'd felt this way before, but I wasn't able to.

The scent of freshly fallen snow; crisp, clean and cold, filled my nose as both his hands cupped my ass and lifted me up. I panicked, flaying around with my legs and arms. He either didn't notice or didn't care as he pressed my back into the wall to help hold me there. My legs wrapped around his narrow hips by reflex and he let out a pleased deep sound. Before I could clearly think about why I was suddenly in this position, he slipped his hands up my tank top, shoving it up over my breasts.

My nipples were hard and he wasted no time at all licking and suckling on them. Sounds I'd never heard myself make before echoed in the room. He massaged one of my large breasts and I didn't even have a chance to feel embarrassed about the stretch marks on them. He kneeded them roughly, yet it always seemed like it never quite hurt enough to ask him to stop. Each time one of his hands moved, or his tongue licked I felt myself edging just that much closer to becoming undone.

I gripped his shoulders, trying to both push him away and pull him closer at the same time. Nails dug into his shoulders bringing a mixture of a groan and a deep animal like growl. The sound excited me and when his teeth grazed along my sensitive nipple, I came.

White spots danced behind my eye lids as I let out a loud half moan. I could feel the wetness between my legs and I didn't care. It added to the pleasure and Loki moaned haughtily, nipping along my skin. I wasn't sure if he could feel what I was feeling completely but he must of. He brought his face up from my breasts, eyes almost glowing and his mouth partly open as he panted. Sweat and water glistened along his brow and before I had a chance, he kissed me again.

I lost track of time after that. Somehow we moved from the wall to the hallway and eventually made it into his bed. The sheets were soft and his bed felt like heaven. I struggled trying to get my tank top off. Loki had laid me down on the bed, kissing and running his hands over all of my exposed skin. The feel of his hands was intense and I trembled under him. He hovered, forceful but savoring every single inch of me. It was blissful agony and I wanted more. More of this, more of him.

Noticing my struggles, Loki pulled the tank top off and in one quick motion my sleep shorts and panties were gone too. Somewhere along the way he'd lost his towel and I wasn't able to peel my eyes away from his fully naked body.

He was hard, painful so. His eyes flashed in that predatory way that said I was clearly the prey here. There was no escaping this.

Loki smirked at me with dangerous sex appeal and I suddenly felt shy being fully naked in his presence. However, he wouldn't let me focus on that and in the next instant he was on top of me. Kissing me ravenously, the tingling that had started to die down from just the few moments of him not touching me, flared back to life and I cried out from it.

"I love that sound," he moaned against my mouth. He was panting as hard as I was and his voice was two octaves lower. The sound was sexy and I found, myself wanting to hear the strain in his voice.

I wasn't sure what to do with my hands, but I wasn't able to resist running them through his hair and down his back. He shivered, jolted by my touch. His hand reached down and pulled my legs apart so he could press closer and I felt the tip of him slide against my soaked mound.

Loki let out a loud cry of pleasure as I wrapped my legs around him, purely by instinct. I wanted him in me so bad I could have died. I could feel subtle emotions of longing, of straining to hold back ghosting along my awareness. He was trying so hard not to loose control. He was afraid he'd hurt me or scare me, to the point where I would get up and walk out.

This sudden understanding loosened something inside me and I felt my mind relax. He thought I was going to leave him.

Loki trembled above me and I caressed his face and neck with my hands. The gentle touch startled him and I pulled him towards me, capturing his mouth with mine. I was fucking terrified at what this moment would mean for us. But I wanted him, I wanted him so bad that I was willing to throw myself into the fire if he'd just be honest with me. I wanted him to loose that control he was holding so tightly onto so I could see the man clearly underneath.

Loki kissed me deeply, his frustrated and fierce kiss from before was now passionate and loving. My body ached all over wanting all of him.

Loki pulled back, his eyes focused on me. I couldn't look away and I felt more than saw him reach down between us to slide a finger against my slit.

My back arched and I almost came again as he teased me with those long slender fingers. He leaned down and sucked on the base of my collar bone as two fingers slipped into me, pumping in and out painfully slow. My hands gripped his shoulders and arms, trying to not let myself get lost in the tsunami of pleasure that hit me. It was no use, I came hard. I could feel myself gripping his fingers has he found a sensitive spot and teased it.

"Loki... Oh god... Please... Please!" I begged and I didn't care.

Before I registered what was happening, Loki removed his now wet fingers and slid the head of his hard, throbbing member against my opening. I felt my body tense in anticipation as he pushed his shaft into me.

Visually he was big. I hadn't worried about if I could take the length or girth because it just never occurred to me to worry about such a thing, which was stupid. I should have at least considered it. He groaned as my tight and swollen body tried to accommodate him. It bordered on pain for a split second and then it blossomed into pure pleasure. His long hair tickled my skin as he buried his face into the nape of my neck.

I moaned as I took every sweet, lustful inch of him. Once he was in, he started to pull out and push in, in deep hard thrusts. Pain erupted on my neck as he bit down, one hand holding my wrist above my head. I gripped his silky black hair with my free hand as he began to pound into me. My legs opened wider, trying to get him as deep inside me as possible.

Neither one of us were able to quiet our voices as his control slipped and then completely let go. He rose up from my neck, gripping my sides just above my hips to pound into me. White spots danced in front of my eyes as I came again and then again. I didn't even know you could have more than one or two orgasms. But apparently, you can.

I felt Loki's body tighten, his arms trembling as his head tilted back. At the last possible second he pulled out and gripped his shaft, coming over my lower belly. The hot warmth made me shiver and he worked every drop until he was spent. He collapsed next to me, not caring about the sweaty mess as he pulled me to him. We laid like that for a little while, trying to calm our breathing.

As the room grew quiet, Loki pulled me closer and tilted my head so he could kiss me. It was tender and sweet. It made my heart melt and when we finally stopped, his green eyes, now back and brighter than ever, were looking at me intensely.

"I've been thinking about it. A lot actually and I think... I love you..."

I stared at him. My heart pounding loudly in my ears. He was serious.

"...what?"


	31. The End or Not?

And this is where my story ends.

Loki and I each confessed our love for one another and had mind blowing sex until the building started to shake from a minor earthquake. Everyone ended up finding out after they evacuated the building because we where the only ones unaccounted for. It was laughable and an unconventional relationship that made no sense, but it worked.

Atticus managed to land a scholarship that paid for whatever degree he wanted. Thanks in large part to Tony’s scholar program for ‘Young Engineers’. I would have been suspicious, but Atticus legitimately won it on his own merit. The scholarship granted him an early diploma and graduation before heading out to MIT, where Atticus had wanted to go. I cried for fucking week I was so proud. The party Tony threw was insane and Steve managed to hook up with a sweet blonde named Gale. She's gorgeous and doesn't mind him slowly courting her. It's adorable.

Randall, of course, managed to get a scholarship there too under the same program. His father was charged with child abuse, assault and spent a year in jail. He managed to get out early for anger management and grief counseling. They have a very strong relationship now and he is actually accepting of his sexual preference. 

Natasha and Banner have been dating strongly and I'm happy to announce that Banner is still wearing the same tie she gave him as a gift last Christmas. It has a reindeer drinking coffee on it.

Thor and Jane's relationship rocketed up a notch when he took her to meet his parents. I'm told that it was a formality because he's next in line. Jane is still coming to terms with ‘being the next queen.’

And as a side note, my ability, power, magic; whatever you want to call it— was going through another stage of evolution. Turns out sex with Loki on a regular basis allows for my power to find an outlet without tilting the axis of the planet. Instead, Loki ends up absorbing it and becomes somewhat docile. Don't get me wrong, if he goes more than a day or two without sex he's like an addict seeking a fix. But you know, I'm okay with that.

So yeah, the train wreck I call my life had a lot of down swings, but things are finally on the up and up. I'm happy and I'm ready to move forward to the next stage of my life.

.

.

.

What? You really didn't think that was the end did you? Seriously, you should fucking know better by now. My life is never, EVER, that cut and dry.

But god damn, I wish it was.

* * *

 I sat up, staring at Loki like he'd lost his mind. 

"What does that mean? 'You've been thinking it over' and you 'think you love me'?"

Loki looked at me, still laying down, fully exposed and not caring in the slightest. He watched me for a moment longer before a his brow furrowed.

"It means, I think I love you," he said confidently and I looked away from him. My stomach twisting itself into knots. He thought he loved me, which meant he didn't know if he did or not. Which also meant that this was a big fucking mistake and I needed to get the fuck out of here.

I stood and grabbed my clothes, completely embarrassed about the fact that I was still covered in... Well, you know, HIM. Fuck, I could just die right now. Loki realized something was wrong when I yanked my tank top and shorts on. I couldn't find my panties anywhere and I gave up looking for them almost immediately. Opting, instead, to leave. 

Loki quickly sat up and grabbed my wrist before I was able to take two steps. The tingling sensation ate at me as soon as he touched me and I bit the inside of my lip to keep my head straight.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Back to my couch," I pulled my wrist away and he stood, grabbing my arm this time. This time the tingling felt like pinpricks and I winced.

"What? Why!?" He sounded panicked and hurt and I pulled away from him again. 

"Fuck, stop touching me! I can't think when you do that!"

"Then tell me why you are leaving?"

"Because!" I rounded on him, tears stung my eyes as I looked at him. He blinked in surprise, his hands coming up in surrender.

"You shouldn't have to 'think' about loving someone, Loki. You either do or you don't! It's not a choice people make, you either love them or you don't. It's that fucking simple!"

The tears fell and I refused to acknowledge their existence. Pain flashed across Loki's face and I instantly regretted what I said. But it didn't make it any less true, you either loved someone, or you didn't. There was no middle ground. I didn't want him to 'think' that he 'might' love me, or that he 'should' love me. I wanted him to know right down to his bones. I didn't want someone to see me as just...someone to tease. Or someone to have mind blowing sex with. I wanted him to—.

"Then do you love me?" 

His voice was so quiet and yet so serious. I opened my mouth and then closed it. It was hard to think with my heart beating so fast and the look on his face was quietly demanding an answer.

"I—" 

I couldn't get it out. I knew I liked him. Which sounded cheap after what had just happened and by no means adequately described how I felt. But did I love him? Was that what this was? I couldn't say for sure because I'd never been in love. I had the urge to tell him yes, but I couldn’t. I was scared what that might mean. He was a prince and a warrior. The only reason he was on this planet was because he tried to take it over and his father was making him help us. He had nothing to gain from me other than sex. 

I wasn’t stupid. He could sleep with anyone he wanted. I wasn’t thin, or attractive, I wasn’t even a sexy assassin like Natasha. I was probably just convenient because I was single and was in the same damn building. That possibility alone made my chest give a painful pound. I just didn’t have the confidence in myself to say that I loved him when I could see he wasn’t even sure himself.

Loki watched me as I tried to open my mouth again to try and explain, but nothing came out. His eyes narrowed and his face becoming harder.

"I see."

Those two little words sounded final and I couldn't look at him anymore. My heart and my mind couldn't seem to agree if I loved him. And that terrifying feeling that I might and that I was easily replaceable killed me.

Loki turned away from me and opened his dresser, pulling out a pair of sleep pants. After yanking them on in frustrated motions he stepped up to me, invading my space. I still wasn't able to look at him, my throat closing down so sound wasn't possible. 

"No worries, darling. It's all fun and games in the end anyway. You can see yourself out."

His tone was sarcastic, boarding along asshole so he could drive his point home and I glared at him.

"Don't be a prick," I snapped. He smirked, anger in his eyes and shrugged.

"I have no idea what you mean. I'm simply saying I had fun and you should leave. Exactly as you intended to." 

I glared at him harder. The glass window made a high pitched crackling sound and something in the living room slammed against the wall, rattling his dresser.

"Now darling, please go before you destroy anymore of my things. Besides, we wouldn’t want to spark the end of the world now, would we?"

"Fuck you!" I shouted as I turned and stomped out of his bedroom. The tears that had fallen before, dried and almost forgotten, started falling again. 

His apartment looked like a war zone. The couch had been turned over and the sink was leaking a small amount of water because it was a weird ball of metal now. The fridge had slammed into the opposite wall where his bedroom was on the other side. That twisting in my gut of guilt, regret, heartache and knowing that my power was out of control intensified. It took two tries before the door opened enough for me to slip out. It looked like something had tried to get out, denting it horribly.

Out in the hallway, I could faintly hear the voices of Natasha and Banner, coming from behind me. Luckily, my apartment was in the opposite direction and I practically ran back to it. Steve's door opened just as I passed it and I refused to look back. He shouted my name in surprise as his door snapped shut a second later. Groaning metal gave way to a loud pop as his door malfunctioned. He started banging on the door and shouting.

The moment I saw my door in sight it practically rattled as it opened too fast. Startled sounds from Atticus and Randall echoed out as I darted in as fast as my legs would carry me. It closed behind me with a bang and I stopped, half sobbing and half crying.

Atticus and Randall startled, still dressed in boxers and old t-shirts. 

"Mom? Mom!? What happened? Are you—"

His words cut off as he finally took in my appearance. I could have died right then, but instead I pushed past them both. The door to the bathroom groaned as the wood gave way, practically blowing inward off its hindges. Once inside, it snapped back into place as it slammed shut the same time the mirror shattered into a thousand little pieces. 

A painful sob choked me to the point where I became stuck between trying to hold everything in and wanting to let it out. I tried to breathe, but my lungs seized. The entire bathroom shook and an alarm sounded somewhere. 

I needed to calm down. I needed to breathe. I needed to apologize to Loki and explain why I was upset.

Why was I upset though? I couldn’t explain it now. My mind was a mess and everything felt out of control. Someone was banging in the door as I collapsed from lack of air onto the ground. The pipes in the bathroom burst, covering everything in water. Loud crackling went off like a boom as it all suddenly turned to ice and the drop in temperature made my heart almost stop. 

Something was seriously wrong. It took far to long to realize that this wasn’t me. Not completely anyway. Whatever this was felt like it was trying to break me. It hurt, like my skin was melting off and a sound I never heard before left my mouth.

“Brynn!”

A familiar masculine voice shouted my name in panic and the banging on the door intensified. 

The surrounding ice grew thicker, swallowing me up and covering me with it in deep, cold layers. The last coherent thought I had was Loki’s gentle teasing smile.


	32. Behind The Scenes: Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another behind the scenes!
> 
> Now, I had some reservations about writing this but it needed to be done for other things I'm planning. Sorry, no spoilers. 😉
> 
> The next chapter after this is going to be following Loki and Thor, because honestly I wanted more of their back and forth... Don't judge me! Besides, it's not really a Loki fic unless there's some kind of grand adventure off world, right?

"You're an idiot."

"In what universe do you think you can speak to me that way and I won't drop you where you stand?" Loki's voice was vicious and Atticus motioned around him.

"This one, idiot."

"Can we move on please? Some of us don't do well under hostile situations."

Natasha gave Atticus a pointed look as Banner shifted uncomfortably next to Atticus.

"Fine, I'll circle back to why he's an idiot in a second," Atticus turned away from the small gathering of people to an old fashioned white board with a lot of scribbles.

"I swear, by all the—" Loki fumed, his whole demeanor was growing more nasty and Banner was trying not to look at him.

"Shut. It." Natasha's eyes could have cut down an entire city with the look she shot Loki. Silence descended and Steve spoke up next.

"So what is...all that?" He asked as Tony took his marker eraser and tapped it on the bicep of his arm in irritation.

"This is the basic mathematical equation taking apart an atom right down to its very core."

"That's basic?" Thor frowned, "It looks like lost writings from Niflheim, lost a thousand years ago—"

"No one cares," Loki sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Look, this math shows that there is unimaginable energy within the nucleus of an atom, at the very center. And I'm not taking about the energy from splitting an atom, like a nuclear bomb."

"Aren't atoms the building blocks of everything?" Natasha asked and Banner spoke up, adjusting his glasses.

"Yes and no. Atoms do make up everything that exists, but we are talking about the nucleus. That center is made up of pure, unhinged energy. One nucleus of an atom could essentially power the entire country for the next ten years with no power surges."

"What does this have to do with Brynn?" Thor asked out of confusion.

"That's were our local idiot comes in," Atticus glared as he shot Loki a look. Loki glared right back.

"Focus kid, you can beat him up in the playground after school later," Tony warned before continuing.

"Originally we thought she was only able to control elements found in nature; metal, rock, water—those kinds of things. However, samples taken from Randall's old apartment and Brynn's father's land in northern New York State show that it's not 'magic' that she's doing, she's channeling the energy found at the nucleus of every atom. Kind of like a magnifying glass that you use to fry ants with."

"Which explains why her power seems so sporadic and is not easily controlled, while still having amazing focus on where that energy goes," Banner explained.

"She's probably not even really thinking when this happens. The environment is reacting to her emotional state. Echoing off her and affecting the magnetic field around the planet. Explaining the tilt she's caused in the Earth as well as everything else. She's able to channel that energy in high emotional states. When everything is fine, nothing happens."

Atticus finished by underlining a few parts of the long equation on the board. Under he drew a bell curve with a lime going horizontally through it. Above he scribbled 'high emotional state' and below it, 'low emotional state'.

"Okay, I follow. But what caused her to pretty much destroy the living quarter floor and turn your bathroom into a solid block of ice?" Steve frowned as everyone looked at Loki. Steve was practically welded into his room when Brynn ran past, so he only caught the facts afterwards.

"Because our local idiot," Tony sighed heavily, rubbing his tired eyes as he spoke, "decided that he'd ignore Thor and I's warning about triggering high emotional states and slept with her."

Loki's face hardened, but he didn't say anything as Natasha rounded on him.

"Seriously!? Is that why there's all those marks—"

"I don't have to tell you anything," Loki snapped at her and Banner jerked slightly. Atticus noticed and kept his eye on him as Tony stepped in.

"I don't think it was the act that caused it, though I think that was part of it. From what JARVIS recorded from the hallway cameras it's clear she was upset. Which begs the question, what happened after they got down and dirty?"

Again, everyone looked at Loki and his jaw clenched. His brow knit in a tight line as Thor leaned over and whispered something to him that didn't quite reach anyone's ears. Loki clicked his tongue and refused to look at anyone as he spoke.

"I told her that I thought I loved her."

Loki ground the words out. The room was quiet before Natasha broke it.

"You said you 'thought' you loved her? That's like saying you 'think' the sky is blue. Everyone knows it is, but you said it vaguely like you weren't sure. What did you think was going to happen?"

Loki looked like he wanted to say something but he held it back as he saw that Banner was still fidgeting. Atticus looked about two shades too red and Tony ran his hand through his hair in exhaustion.

"Alright, that right there explains the high emotional state."

"So, how do we help her control it? Fury didn't give us a lot of time in figuring out how to help her," Steve took a stab at the heart of the matter and Atticus forced himself to take and breath.

"There are two options for helping my mom," Atticus looked at Tony, who gave him a quick nod to go on. "We either find a way to help her harness all that energy she's channeling, something like Thor's hammer. Or..." Atticus looked down, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice, "Or we keep her in suspended stasis indefinitely."

Banner glanced at Atticus out of the corner of his eye as the room grew quiet again. Atticus looked like he was struggling to figure out how to continue when Banner took over.

"We were able to break her out of the ice shield she surrounded herself in. Thanks in large part to Loki and Thor. For everyone's safety, she's been moved to an undisclosed location by Fury under heavy sedation. Until we can come up with a way for her to control it, she'll stay there. Randall and Clint are currently watching over her, as Natasha and Loki both know."

"So now the bad news," Tony said as he tossed the marker down on a nearby lab table. Steve frowned.

"That wasn't the bad news?"

"Unfortunately not," Loki mumbled to himself.

"The kid, Banner and myself have all tried coming up with a machine that can separate the energy from an atom and channel it in a focused and controlled environment, but it's been a bust. There isn't a metal strong enough on this planet to be able to withstand the energy amount or variances from adding or taking away said energy. Basically, the metal just...vaporizes," Tony explained.

Loki caught Thor's eye and they both exchanged a look as Tony continued.

"Even with all the research the we've put in on the kid's theory there's just no way we could manage it with the tech we have now. So our little firecracker is going to stay in stasis until we do, which unfortunately she might not live to see."

Atticus stiffened for a moment before he set his marker down on the white board's ledge. He ignored the looks the others gave him as he walked away.

"I need sleep," he said in a strained voice as he left the lab.

Tony watched Loki as Atticus left. He was being unusually quiet, which was never a good thing. However, maybe this could be the push that was needed to start shoving certain people in the right direction.

"What do you mean, she might not live to see it?" Thor asked once Atticus was gone. Banner sighed, the sound saying everything he normally didn't.

"While her DNA is stable, she's been taking in far too much pure energy with no way to filter it or stop it. It's causing her body to fail at a rapid rate. Cell samples since her exposure have showed an increase in cell damage and repair. It was stable, but recent samples have shown that they are no longer repairing themselves. This was another reason for the sedation. She could be gone in a week or even a month, it's hard to say."

Loki suddenly turned and walked briskly away. Thor called after him, before finally giving up and following. Natasha and Steve looked at each other as Tony watched them go. Banner looked at Tony for a moment before taking off his glasses.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Banner said with a sigh.

"Whatever, we didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"What are you doing Stark?" Steve eyed Tony with suspicion as Tony pulled out a bottle of high end brandy that was tucked away under one of the lab tables. He unscrewed the cap and dug around for a glass, pouring himself a hefty amount before taking a good gulp. He set the glass down as he shrugged.

"Nothing he didn't already have coming. Besides, if he gets his shit together quick enough I won't have to go meet that social worker for that Randall kid."

Natasha patted Steve's shoulder before walking to Banner and taking his hand. Banner followed her without a word and soon it was only Steve and Tony left in the lab.

"So which part isn't true?"

Tony glanced at him as he took another swig, "It's all true."

"Then what did Banner mean?" Steve half accused as Tony shrugged.

"Love is blind Cap. People find out who they are when they're in love. Maybe Loki will finally stop half-assing his time here and make up for his mistakes. Not because of his brother or his father telling him he should, but because he loves her. People do weird shit when they're in love. Wouldn't you say so Captain?"

Steve stared at Tony for a long time before he sighed, "You're either the smartest man I've ever met, or the dumbest."

"Just as long as I'm not the village idiot," Tony chuckled as he snagged another glass from under the lab table.

"Want one?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been toying around with and idea for a Deadpool fic a little bit. Out of curiosity, how many would like to see said fic (it will be long, because I'm long winded) and if so, what would you like to see?
> 
> And don't worry, I'm finishing this one before starting that one. 💜


	33. Behind The Scenes: Loki - Quests Are Slimy, Sticky Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this one took me a while because I had to hound down some research and then it went through like I don't even know how many re-writes. 
> 
> Behold! 'Tis finished. 
> 
> Anyway... there was one response to the Deadpool (Thanks Charlotina101! - who suggested a Spideypool fic) question I had at the end of the last chapter. Not sure if perhaps there are not that many Deadpool fans or not? But still want to hear your thoughts!
> 
> Also, just in case none of you have clicked on my Profile or checked out my other works, I have a total of 17 now. Yes I write a lot of OCs (working on character development), but I think they are all a pretty fun read. Or at least I hope. LOL So check them out if you have time or feel the need to quench your fic thirst. 
> 
> Thank you, as always to all those who have stuck with me through this fic by commenting, bookmarking, leaving kudos and subscribing! I really appreciate it!

"Where are you going?" Thor asked as he caught up with Loki in the elevator, which immediately closed and started its rapid descent.

"Svartálfaheimr," he responded flatly. Thor's brow furrowed and Loki made no attempt to explain further, but there wasn't a need to. He would go to the dwarf world and ask them to find a strong enough metal.

The boy had been correct, he was an idiot. Telling her that he loved her the second they had melted into each other had been a mistake. He should have taken his time, eased her into it. His gut had told him it might have been too soon, but his heart couldn't take the strain anymore.

He also realized, painfully too late as she stomped away from him with tears in her blue eyes; that he hadn't even said it correctly. She had been right, you didn't have to think about if you loved someone, you just did.

He wasn't even sure when it happened. Was it the first time she smiled at him? Or perhaps that night after rescuing her son's lover from his father? Or maybe when she said his name for the first time? Maybe it was when she had looked so relieved after he admitted to knowing about her daughter?

He still felt anguish over causing her such loss, which made no sense because he hadn't known at the time the pain he'd caused to her. He even felt the loss when he looked at her son. But things were different now. He was different. It was so obvious that he could have slapped himself for it.

It never occurred to him that he could love someone so much, let alone a human woman with meat on her bones and a fiery, loving disposition. She was funny too, a quality he didn't know was so important.

The elevator continued its downward trek and Thor stood next to him in silence. He didn't care if he came with him or not, he was going to find a way to save Brynn. If for no other reason than to tell her that he knew, without a doubt, right down to his bones as she would say, that he loved her. Because the truth of the matter was, he knew she loved him too. It wasn't even his confidence or pride as a man that made him think that.

It was the look on her face when he asked her if she loved him too. She had locked up, panic on her face and tears in her surprised eyes. He'd become frustrated at her silence as if she was giving him a double standard when she couldn't even admit it herself. However, that had been quickly squashed when she fled from him.

It was not a mistake he'd make again.

The elevator doors opened and they exited out into the parking garage. The smell of exhaust and dust tickled Loki's nose, but he paid it no mind. Now was the time to focus on the plan at hand. Not about his love's growing mortality or her son, who he wasn't sure how to comfort, but wanted to. He didn't even think Atticus would let him near him anyway. Especially after his mother’s power overload.

They walked a few minutes later out into the street in their Midgard clothes, both heading towards Central Park. They needed space for Heimdall to activate the rainbow bridge safely without accidentally pulling another human into the path of it. They continued to walk in silence, which was good. It gave Loki a chance to collect his thoughts and come up with a full plan.

"Loki," Thor interrupted the silence and Loki glanced at him as they continued their walk. When Loki didn't answer he continued.

"What exactly do you think you'll accomplish by asking the dwarves for help?"

"There is no metal powerful enough on this planet, were you not listening?"

"Yes, but what makes you think they will know of a more powerful metal? No offense brother, but I don't think your tricks or scheming is going to—"

"Is that what you think that I'm doing?" Loki stopped, snapping at him.

Thor looked surprised as he stepped forward, challenging him. Loki felt a rush run through his blood as if it was fire. His next words came out barely a whisper.

"If you feel that that is all I'm doing, then walk away dear brother. If you cannot help me now; if you cannot see how serious I am about her, then leave. I will do anything to find an answer because I—"

He couldn't even squeeze the words out anymore. It hurt and yet was expected that Thor would think this was all some ruse, some game to move chess pieces. Not this time. This time he just wanted to hear her laugh again or tell him to fuck off. He wanted her to see her blush when he teased her and to kiss those full, sweet lips once more.

Thor grew serious as he searched his face and Loki pulled away, unable to take it anymore. He resumed his walk, though somewhat quicker than before. Thor caught up to him just as quick, grabbing his shoulder and turning to face him. Loki glared daggers at him and Thor raised his hands in surrender, a large, apologetic smile on his face.

"I am sorry brother, I didn't realize," he offered his hand for him to take and Loki glanced at it dismissively.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Loki turned, walking again, however slower. Thor didn't seem fazed and followed next to him. Within another fifteen minutes and a few street crossings, they arrived at Central Park. Loki looked at Thor for a moment and waited, it pissed him off that he could stand there for hours shouting for Heimdall and he wouldn't open the bridge. But he supposed it was deserved.

"Heimdall!" Thor shouted and the next, they were enveloped by the rainbow bridge opening.

* * *

Loki stood before his mother and father, Freya and Odin, with his hands behind his back and Thor standing next to him in a similar stance. They had used magic to change into their normal Asgardian garb and within moments were in the throne room, just the four of them.

"Speak my sons, tell me why you are here?" Odis's voice held some curiosity but was mostly commanding.

Thor looked at Loki, who wasn't looking at anyone. He was trying to figure out how to explain his reasoning and to get his father to agree to get him to travel to Svartálfaheimr. Express permission was needed to be granted to travel there as all of their weapons were forged in the caverns deep below the surface where the dwarves lived. He'd thought about just heading their straight away, but somehow he kept hearing Brynn's voice in his head telling him to be more honest.

The throne room was silent for a long time before Freya spoke up.

"Loki?"

Her voice seemed to snap him out of his thoughts and Loki stepped forward.

"I ask for permission to travel to Svartálfaheimr."

"Svartálfaheimr?" Odin questioned, his one eye watching him closely, "Perhaps you'll entertain me with your reason?"

"I wish to ask for their help in forging the most powerful metal to save a life."

Loki could practically feel Thor's eyes on him but Loki wasn't sure how to explain the circumstances without wasting more time.

"A life?" Freya asked, her brow furrowed slightly as she looked at Odin. He didn't acknowledge her but instead leaned forward as he continued to look at Loki. Loki didn't move, just waited. Either his father would deny his request or he wouldn't, either way, he was going to Svartálfaheimr.

Odis's gaze shifted as he looked at Thor, "Does this have anything to do with the Midgard woman and her son?"

Thor opened his mouth, but Loki spoke up. He shot Thor a look to keep his mouth shut and he gave Loki a smirk before he turned his attention back to their father.

"Yes, Brynn is dying and I will save her with or without your permission."

"Then why are you here?" Odin banged his spear in the marble floor and Loki's face grew hard.

"I'm...trying to be more honest."

The resounding silence was deafening and Loki was on the verge of losing his patience. Freya leaned close to Odin and whispered something in his ear and despite the emptiness of the room, Loki couldn't catch it. Odin chuckled and nodded when she finished.

"Permission granted."

He stilled. Had he heard that correctly? He glanced at his mother as she stood and walked down the steps to him. His heart was beating hard out of a mixture of emotions he couldn't name. Freya smiled at him and put her hands on either side of his face, gently tilting his head down enough so she could kiss his forehead. She let go and smiled warmly at him.

"When things have settled down, perhaps we might meet her?"

Loki smiled somewhat embarrassed, "Alright..." He mumbled before his brother clamped a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Come on lover man, let's get going."

"It's 'lover boy' not 'man'. If you're going to use the slang at least try to do it correctly," Loki half snapped and half sighed. Thor grinned teasingly at him and jostled him with his elbow.

"I was trying to make you sound more manly, but suit yourself."

Loki groaned.

* * *

Loki had lied to himself partly for believing that asking for permission to visit the home of the dwarves was the hard part. In fact, it had been easy if he compared it to speaking with the ruler of the dwarves, Dvalin, who did not like him.

Not one little bit.

He couldn't blame him either, he more than one occasion and young, had stolen a few sought after weapons and tricked a few dwarven women into getting drunk so he could create a distraction. He was only living up to his name, after all.

"I don' care if the en'ire Midgard race is swallowed by the serpent, Jormungand, and shat ou'," Dvalin declared in his thick accent and Loki tried to hold in his sigh as Thor tried yet again to explain.

"Look, we are simply asking for your help. We have not come in force and my brother is very sorry for spiking your daughter's wine with that love elixir."

Loki cringed inwardly, he'd forgotten about that.

Dvalin banged his large hammer down, striking the ground with shattering force just in front of them. Thor was clearly not getting anywhere and so he decided to step forward and give it a shot himself.

"Excuse me, sorry, but I do apologize for any trouble I've caused. But you see I'm trying to do the right thing now and I'd appreciate a bit of sympathy—"

"Sympathy!?" Dvalin boomed and he smacked his hammer down again. Loki vaguely wondered why they were called dwarves when they weren't small in any way shape or form. Even their tempers were massive. As it was, King Dvalin towered over them by a good two feet making him closer to Banner's alternate form, the Hulk, size.

"Oi, you wan' sympathy prove to me that ya actually have a heart in tha' chest of yers. Fight me."

"You've got to be kidding.”

Without warning, Dvalin stuck Loki in the chest with his hammer and he flew back into the cave wall. Large boulders and rocks fell, landing on him and it took a moment for Loki to gain enough breath to move. Once he did, he managed to push a large boulder out of his way and move some of the debris. When he emerged he called on his sword and its hilt formed in his hand with a pull of magic.

"Are you just going to stand there?" he spat at Thor who held up his hands in mock surrender.

"Well, I can only do so much, besides, this is technically your quest as it is your woman we are attempting to save."

Loki grit his teeth as he slipped down the rubble and Dvalin laughed loudly, his large middle bouncing up and down. His long hair, unkept and dirty from trolling around in the caves was dirty, but it didn't seem to bother him.

"Woman? Loki's woman? Ha!"

Loki dashed forward the moment his feet hit solid ground and used his magic to distract Dvalin by mirroring himself around the room to strike him. Dvalin fought the mirror images as Loki drew closer, looking for a good opening. However, Dvalin saw him sneak in close and hit him again. This time Loki was ready and was able to block the blow. It rattled his arms though and he lashed out with a few strikes of his own, somewhat slower than normal.

The two of them engaged in battle and Loki couldn't seem to get the upper hand. His tricks weren't working as well as he hoped and he looked at Thor who sighed.

"Fine, fine," Thor grumbled as he launched himself at the king and attempted to strike him with his hammer. Caught off guard, Dvalin's hammer ricocheted off of Thor's. Stunned by the blow, Loki went in for the kill so to speak and cut Dvalin's hand just enough to startle him into dropping it.

All three were panting and Dvalin laughed, full-bodied and without care as he slapped Thor and Loki's back in a hard couple of pats, almost knocking them over.

"Ha, ha, ha! See? Fighting keeps yer blood pumpin'."

"Will you help me now? We are running out of time," Loki grumbled as he pulled away and began dusting himself off. Dvalin laughed more before giving him a sly smile.

"Fine. I'll help ya if ya promise to bring me the one who tamed yer heart."

"Why!?" Loki asked in surprise, not expecting this.

Thor snickered as Dvalin grinned, his teeth slightly yellow and eyes twinkling with humor.

"Anyone who can change a man is worth meetin'. Especially when it's you who's changin'."

"We'll bring her. I think you'll like her, but first, we need a metal powerful enough to harness pure energy." Thor answered and Loki glared openly at him. She wasn't even saved yet and already their mother and father had asked for her presence. Must they extend the same to the dwarves?

"Hrm... Come. Tell yer tale to me and mine. For we cannot forge good bonds without honesty."

Dvalin yanked them towards the opening to a long tunnel that led deeper into the caves despite Loki's silent protests.

* * *

To say he was frustrated was putting it mildly.

This so-called quest had turned into a half dozen of them with the days passing regardless of the pressing need to get back. They searched the nine realms to find the materials needed for the dwarves so they could forge some type of metal that was strong enough for Tony to use. He'd been bruised, beaten, maimed and bludgeoned to the point where breathing hurt. Thor was in a similar state, though slightly better as he wasn't as distracted as he was.

Every single day that passed worried him more and he had no idea how Brynn was fairing. Time moved differently spending on where they were. Surprisingly, he found himself wishing for a cell phone, though the stupid piece of plastic would be completely useless where their travels had taken them. He even found himself missing Atticus, though he couldn't explain why. He hoped the boy was at least eating well and wasn't working himself to the bone. His mother would be upset if she found out he wasn't taking care of himself, or his studies. He tried to make a mental note to bring some of his books to show him. Perhaps it would help with his energy theory.

Then again maybe it wouldn't and he'd be called an idiot again.

On second thought, maybe he should teach him a lesson in respecting his elders.

"Loki! What are you doing!?" Thor shouted and Loki snapped out of his, thoughts as the giant insect-like creature reared back before striking towards Thor. Thor hit its face with his hammer before striking it with lighting.

"Sorry, sorry!" Loki called back as he dashed forward to cut one of its limbs right above the knuckle. The creature screamed in pain and anger and Loki barely managed to get out of the way before its stinger almost got him.

This was the last place they needed to visit, a small planet without a name in a section of the nine realms they had a hell of a time finding. The last ingredient, as it were, was a jewel found at the very heart of the beast they were trying to take down. He could now say that yes, Atticus was right, he did slay beasts.

Why they needed it, he had no idea but as his head filled with memories of Brynn, he found himself more determined than ever. He and his brother worked in perfect harmony until the creature gave its last breath and collapsed. Now they had the unpleasant task of cutting through its thick armor and digging for the large organ.

"This is disgusting," Loki complained half-heartedly, more out of habit than anything.

"It could be worse," Thor ground out as he helped him pry off a chunk of its armor.

Loki grunted as the piece finally gave way and exposed the milky, slimy meat blow. It smelled horrible and both of them turned a little green. Not wanting to drag this out any longer, Loki took his sword and began cutting away the meat. Surprisingly, it didn't take much longer to reach its massive heart. A few more minutes of grunting, cutting and pulling and Loki found what they were looking for.

A large, black crusted stone, about the size of a children's kickball, was lodged in the center of the heart. It took some work to get it out, but once they did Loki was surprised with how jagged it was.

"So I have a question before we head back," Thor spoke up as they walked away from the carcass. Loki had given up any hopes for a bath or a shower at this point but still attempted to wipe some of the slime off his armor.

"And what would that be?" He said, sounding disgusted by the sheer amount of slime.

"Have you thought about what you'll do after you save Brynn?"

Loki paused and looked at Thor, "Meaning?"

"Well," Thor said thoughtfully, "I was just curious as to what your plans were. Are you going to marry her?"

Loki felt his ears heat up as he took in the question. He was quiet for a moment before he looked away at the desolate desert surrounding them.

"I think it's too early for that..." He mumbled and Thor suddenly slapped him on his back, making him stagger. It wasn't that he had thought about it, but it had crossed his mind once before on their long, long quest.

"So you have thought about it!" Thor beamed at him and Loki felt his face flush this time. Not wanting his brother to see, he started to stalk off.

"Shut up," he shot back in irritation as Thor started to laugh.

* * *

Finally, after several days of very little rest and covered in the universe's disgusting slime, dirt, grime, and stickiness, they were now waiting for the dwarves to forge the so call powerful metal.

Dvalin had told them that they could create metal from certain compounds found within certain items in certain parts of the universe. Loki was certain he was going to kill Dvalin if this didn't work, he said as much. In return, Dvalin laughed and took the last item, the stone from the insect, and disappeared down into the dark lower caves where magic weaponry was forged.

After what seemed like an eternity, Dvalin emerged holding a small box carved out of a black mirror-like stone that looked tiny in the dwarf's hand. Loki didn't care about the look his brother gave him as he rushed over to take the box. Dvalin held it just out of his reach as he locked his gaze with him, refusing to hand it over.

"Now, Loki Laufeyson," he spoke formally and distinctly, "I have created the perfec' ring for yer woman."

Loki stared, "I didn't ask you to make a ring, I asked for you to produce a metal that could help her control the pure energy that is killing her. Why would you forge a ring!?"

"Why not? She's yer woman ain't she?" Dvalin looked confused as he looked at Thor who had stepped up next to them. Thor couldn't help grinning and tried to hide it the best he could as the king continued, "Women like shiny things. Besides, if she has direc' contact with it on her skin she'll be better 'n no time. Much better than some machine and I added a surprise too."

Dvalin stood proudly and Loki could have kicked himself. Leave it to a dwarf to take creative leeway. Fine, if this was the only way, then he'd half to swallow his embarrassment and take the ring. If what Dvalin said was true then maybe they wouldn't have to waste more time waiting for Stark, Banner, and Atticus to figure out a machine that could use it.

"Just...give it to me," he hesitated when Dvalin raised a bushy eyebrow, "...please," he added softly.

Dvalin held out the small ring sized box to him and Loki took it. Despite the carvings on its mirrored surface, it was remarkably smooth. Carefully, he opened it and looked inside.

A bright gold ring sparkled up at him with a stone, the color of deep blue, inlaid in the top of it. It looked simple, but the ring itself held intricate carvings along its band. It was beautiful and strong looking and Loki felt his breathing shallow. It looked like something she would wear and suddenly asking her to marry him seemed more tangible.

He wouldn't though. Not for a while. Maybe not until things calmed down and perhaps maybe a year or two after that. Given enough time, he'd wait forever if he needed too. He already decided a long time ago that she was stuck with him regardless of what happened. However, Loki reminded himself for the millionth time this trip to take things slow and to no blurt out anything.

Dvalin looked pleased and slapped a hard hand on Loki's shoulder that made him grunt from the sudden pain of it.

"Don't forget yer promise to bring her here. I must meet the woman who gave ya yer heart back!"


	34. I’ll Be Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took me a little longer because I’ve had a rough couple of days and I woke up feeling sad. I still don’t know if I’ve managed to get the tone I was going for, but it’s the best I’ve got right now.
> 
> Thank you to QueenOfMinds and MrsBlue for responding to my Deadpool question, I really appreciate it! ♥️

I always imagined death would be quiet, still even. I won't say that I believed in God or that I didn't, but you tend to look at the whole idea of an after life in a pragmatic way when you've been dealt the kind of hand at life that I have.

I've often thought that God, if he existed, was probably the most detached bastard out of everyone. I mean, there he is handing out trials to over come, but never gives you a moment to work through that bullshit before he tosses something else at you. If he really loved me, he'd give me a break every once in a while. You know like, maybe instead of trying to choose between which utility had to be switched off, maybe I could decide between eggs or toast for breakfast.

I also realize that a massive amount of my problems are ones I end up creating. Either by second guessing myself or jumping in and opening my big fat mouth before I think. Or in this particular case, not opening my big fat mouth and telling Loki that at loved him.

Now, in my current state of death, I found that it wasn't quiet. Every little noise echoed in my ears and on more than one occasion I recognized that someone was talking to me. Sometimes it was Randall other times it was Atticus. A few times I was pretty sure Natasha was spilling secrets about Banner in the bedroom. And no, I can't tell you what they were because well, you know, best friends and all that. 

I was also painfully aware of the fact that I was moving too. Not like being pushed around, but like I could actually feel the Earth rotate. I wasn't a math wizard like Atticus, but I managed to figure out after a while that I'd been in this death state for about a month or so. Sometimes I could tell if it was daylight outside or not, though I also knew somehow that I was underground. Which is why I thought I was dead in the first place.

All of that aside, I couldn't seem to feel any emotion about all this. It wasn't for a lack of trying either, I wanted to be sad. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to cry. There was so much that I was going to miss out on. Like seeing Atticus graduate. Or when he and Randall got married—and they totally would too. I could almost see it in my head the image was so clear. I also could see Natasha and Banner living together and not at the tower either. But like two people actually living normal lives and loving each other. 

It made my heart hurt when I thought about it.

But all of that aside, my thoughts always turned to Loki. I watched old memories replay of him teasing me, trying so hard to get a rise out of me. All the moments that I blushed or thoughts I had about him. I thought about his stupid grin and the way he wasn't bothered by me snapping at him. I thought about our last fight and how I wished I could do that moment over again. 

Oh god, I wished I could turn back the clock. 

I'd tell him that I did love him. I'd tell him how much he meant to me, even in just a few short months. I'd kiss him again and this time I knew exactly where I'd put my hands when we had sex. I take all his aggressive marks on my body and dish them back in turn because I knew that he'd let me. We'd mark each other all over and it wouldn't matter because we belonged to each other.

A sappy, romantic movie plot for sure, but I didn't fucking care. Being dead gave remarkable clarity.

And instead of fighting over something like him 'thinking' he loved me, I would fight about something really stupid. Like the fact that he only wore suits. Did he not own a pair of jeans? Seriously, I loved a man in a suit, but I loved how he looked in casual clothes like his sleep pants. Maybe I'd play my cards right and goad him into wearing shorts one time. The others would never let him live it down.

I missed him.

Fuck, I really wanted that do over. Maybe if I just wished hard enough, I'd get that second chance people talk about.

I was a good person, wasn't I? I did my best, didn't I? Didn't I have enough good karma stored somewhere in the universe to grant me one more stab at life? 

And then the universe spoke...in that teasing way that made my heart beat faster.

* * *

 

"Hello darling," Loki's voice was teasing but filled with emotion. I could actually hear the love in his voice.

_I must really be dead if you've come to see me_ ,  I thought. Fuck, I wanted to cry all of a sudden.

"Now, I know you're probably wondering where the hell I've been. After all Randall and Atticus have visited you quite often."

_You're damn right. Where the fuck have you been? I missed you..._

"Before you condemn me to the pits of hell, I'd like to take a moment to explain." 

He chuckled and I could have sworn I felt him take my hand. I could feel his thumb running over my fingers and knuckles. There wasn't any tingling feeling, but I didn't care. That touch, whether I imagined it or not, meant everything.

_You have five minutes..._

God, I'm weak. I tried to sound tough in my head but really, I didn't mean a word of it. I just wanted him to keep holding my hand. Was forever too long?

"First, I'd like to start off by saying that if you ever imply that I don't love you again, I'll make love to you until you do and are screaming my name in pure pleasure. But, you were right, you don't have to 'think' about loving someone, you just do. And I do. I love you Brynn Foster, right down to my bones as you would say. 

I love you more than I think I've ever loved anything. I'd do anything you asked of me. I'll be anything you need me to be. I'll even cook for you, if you don't mind omelets every morning. I'll even try to be some kind of—" he paused, like he was having to think before he continued.

"—father figure to Atticus. I can't say that I'd be a good role model but I could try. Let's be honest, I don't know the first thing about children. I'm also sure that Atticus loathes me, but then I think he needs to realize that I'm going to be there for you whether he likes it or not. He needs to finishing being, well not a child, but needs to finish growing up. Something I know you think too."

I could almost feel the tears staring to sting my eyes and I swear I felt one fall. I hung on his every word, savoring his voice like the last drop of water in a desert. 

"Ah," he sighed, "I'm rambling, sorry. There's just so many things I want to say. Because while I've been mucking about in the nine realms, trying to find all these ridiculous materials for the dwarves; I've thought of nothing else but you. Your laugh, your lips, your sense of humor and your delicious body."

_God, you're a perv!_

If I could have blushed I would have. 

Loki chuckled lowly and I felt the faint brush of lips on the back of my knuckles. 

"The rest can wait. I just want you to know that I love you and I have brought you a gift that will save your life. I promise, its...appearance was not my idea. You can yell at the Dwarf King for that."

_Something to save my life...? Wait, I'm not dead!?_

Something cold slipped onto my finger. Something...metal. 

_Wait, is this a ring!?_

Okay, I had some serious questions now.

"Leave it to Dvalin to guess your size correctly," Loki half chuckled half sighed, kissing my hand again. 

"I'll be right here," Loki whispered.


	35. Put It On My Tab

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry this took so long. Had some serious issues to deal with, but all seems okay now. Was finally able to lower the stress level enough to write. It's not very long, but it's something. >_<

I woke up sometime in the early morning the next day. I felt like I was hung over and like I hadn't eaten in years. I was able to sit up after a lot of effort and a few 'motherfuckers' thrown in for good measure.

Much to my complete dismay, I was back in another hospital gown. Though I had to admit the view was better this time.

Loki was asleep on a stiff looking cot against the wall. His hair was partly covering his face and the small blanket barely covered him from his hips down to his knees. From this angle, all that lean muscle and hard angles really stood out. But that wasn't the only thing. Massive bruises covered his ribs and chest. There were several little cuts here and there, feathering the side of his jaw, like he'd been thrown against something and his face scraped across whatever it had been.

Well, shit I couldn't just sit there admiring the view from afar, I had to get up and get over there and make sure he was okay. I just had to. Unfortunately, the will power needed for this feat was tremendous. I barely managed to sit up and even tougher still was trying to convince my legs that we could walk if they'd stop shaking long enough to put my full weight on them. The stupid fuckers refused for a long time until finally the left one decided to get with the program.

It took a while to stand even with one working leg, but with a lot of help from the IV stand, which thankfully I wasn't plugged into, I made it over to the side of his cot before my left leg decided that was the end of the line. I half fell, half sat on the edge of the cot, ending up next to him. He groaned in his sleep and shifted, but didn't open his eyes. His breathing was still deep and even, though his brow was scrunched up in pain.

"Jesus," I whispered once my initial panic settled down from almost waking him. I was finally able to get a better look at his upper torso. My vision was clearer now and I could really look at the bruises. Deep black and purple colored the center of each one while the outside edges blushed deep shades of various blues across his ribs. His chest had several long stripe like bruises and I frowned, unable to stop my fingers as they gently touched the outside edges of the closest ones to me.

"What happened?" I murmured as I carefully inspected him.

Finally, I brushed his hair gently from his face to get a better look at the scratches on his jaw. Just as I was about to trace along the red irritated lines, his eyes snapped open, their brilliant green flecked with deep gold focused on me as his hand suddenly grabbed my wrist with inhuman speed. His grip was firm, but gentle. It still startled the shit out of me just the same.

"Hey—" I began, trying to calm the pounding in my chest. I mean, what was I going to say now that he was awake? Sorry for freaking out? I'm sorry I'm an ass, but I really love you? Are you okay? What the fuck where you doing!? Just to name a few.

Before I could get any of those out he reached up with his other hand, slipping it against my neck and jaw and pulled me down into a deep kiss. I let out a startled noise but immediately melted into it. My skin flared, blushing and tingling along my senses and I moaned. I missed his lips. I missed his hands on me and damnit if I didn't miss everything about him. Fuck I was in deep.

Loki teased his tongue along mine and I kissed him back with everything I had, so much so that it made my head dizzy. When we finally pulled away from each other we were both panting and his eyes had gone almost completely gold.

"You're awake."

"So are you," I said, breathlessly.

"How do you feel?"

His face was that careful blank that I knew meant he was trying to hide how he really felt and I smirked.

"I'm fine. I feel a little woozy, but I'm okay. What about you? What's with," I motioned to his torso, "all this?"

Loki leaned back and shrugged, "It's nothing, just a few bruises from traveling the nine realms."

"Huh?"

"For this," Loki held up my left hand so I could see the gold ring on my ring finger. A beautiful blue stone that seemed to pulse as I looked at it, sparkled up at me. Dark black rune markings engraved the sides of it. It was beautiful and at the same time looked old. Like it had been worn by old royalty and seen a thousand battles.

I felt my heart start to pound for a different reason now. I was afraid to look at him directly, mostly because I wasn't sure what my face looked like. It looked like a wedding ring and strangely I wasn’t scared or freaked out.

Oh. My. God.

Did I want to marry him!? Okay, calm down, don't jump to conclusions. He only just admitted that he loves you, there's no way that he'd—.

"I didn't ask them to make a ring," Loki spoke up, his voice careful as if he was waiting for me to explode, "Dvalin decided this would be the best form for the metal I asked for. I'm not sure how much you know, but this ring should help to keep you from taking in too much pure energy."

"Oh," I murmured, looking at him finally. I really didn't know what had happened in any great detail, but before I could ask I caught sight of the tip of his one exposed ear. It was dusted pink and he looked nervous. It was so damn cute that I didn't really care about the details and found I had to hold back the giggle that threatened to let loose. I had a wicked thought and before I could stop myself I went for it.

"So this isn't a proposal then?"

"No," Loki's brow furrowed for a second before he took a chance and looked at me.

"Oh," I said sounding disappointed and Loki's brows rose in surprise, his mouth partly open. God, this was just too good.

"Well I... I mean... I-it's a bit early for that... I think..." He stumbled over his words as he fiddled with the edge of his blanket unconciousnessly.

Fuck, hold it together Brynn, don't smile and ruin it.

"A bit early? If you don't want to marry me, it's fine. I get it. I didn't think you were really the marrying type anyway."

I looked down and away from him, trying to hide the smile that was threatening to take over. Loki half sat up, his voice worried and borderline panicked.

"What? No! Not at all I want to marry you, I love you I just... Want you to be sure and I want to do it properly and I—"

I couldn't hold it in anymore and a smug smile crept over my face as I looked into his bright green eyes. They were filled with so much love and emotion. When he realized I was messing with him he scoffed and narrowed his eyes at me.

"You little devil," he chided, "you'll pay for that."

I grinned and leaned forward, kissing his lips playfully.

"Put it on my tab."

Loki growled low, the sound sexy and deep that it made something low in my belly tighten.

"Be thankful I'm slightly injured or I'd take you right here on this flimsy excuse for a bed."

"Yeah well, if I could feel my legs I'd take you up on that bet," I laughed and nudged him slightly, "Move over."

He didn't even hesitate and I laid down next to him. After some maneuvering and adjusting, we were snuggled up against each other. My leg over his, his arm around me and my head resting carefully in his chest.

"I'm not hurting you am I?"

"No. Even if you were I wouldn't want you to move."

He squeezed me against him and we laid there quietly as I listened to his heart beat. Within no time his breathing slowed and I could tell he'd fallen asleep. It didn't take long for my eyes to close and for sleep to pull me in as well. That calmness that always seemed to happen when we touched settled deep into me and I let out a contented breath.

This time, I didn't have to lie to myself. I didn't have to pretend that he was someone I loved because...I did love him. I'd gotten my second chance and come hell or high water, I was going to hang on with everything I had.

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE 8/26/19: Beta read by MayLaForceBeWithYou. Thank you so much darling!


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